Oh fuuuuck. Oh fuck dude. I just got bit by a fucking clam and tonight's the full moon
this tweet hasn't left my mind once in the two years since it's been posted
Sorry I’m so horny I had a really good muffin
Who is that? White Jesus?
funnytwittertweets
[ID: tweet by Emily @the_aiju: alpha males are stopped by a sheet of paper, beta males are stopped by an inch of plastic, gamma males penetrate into an inch of lead. /End ID]
his wife filled the house with chintz, to keep it real I descend into the ever-changing maze only to never return
cool new tumblr trend : “goodposting”
its when you share fun interesting things in a calm and friendly way
goodposting example: hey guys, just fucked a bug
no!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
me when i eating my Macking Cheese right af ter it come out from the Pot because i canot wait to Eat It
Truth is, it reads more like "she can do everything" and "him, it's just Ken"
And ken is a slang used in French that means "to fuck"
So "Him, it's just fucking"
Which I think is even more hilarious
"My commanding officer has some idea that you and I are similar. A shared love of poetry and philosophy. I wonder… if it's something more or not."
oh this collar? no no it's not a sex thing, yeah it's not really for fashion either. yeah no it keeps my head attached. yeah my head? it's detached? yeah no it falls right off if i don't wear the collar, huge pain in the ass. the jingle bell is a sex thing though.
An alignment chart I thought you'd enjoy:
Hate it!!
gets invested in npcs with zero lines of dialogue
Do you guys think Julian’s parents had a bad relationship, which lead to his negative views on the concept of marriage? Or was he just a professional slut and hater
I think lemurs are just like that
SHUT UPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPP SHUT-UP-UPUPPUPUPPPP
HASHTAG STAR TREK HASH TAG STAR TREK DEEP SPACE NINE HASHTAG JULIAN BASHIR
the gay good omens kiss is actually just something that dean winchester fever dreamed while he was dying on the rusty nail