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Eli

@fiftyshadessofno

Idk what to say here
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lamaenthel

shoutout to paris hilton for not abandoning her ‘micropig’ 

when it turned out that it was a normal piggy who grew up to be a big fat fatty piggu

Actually that’s pretty standard size for a micro pig. Pigs are ENORMOUS, dude. The average pig on a farm is 7 feet long and over 700 lbs. A normal pig would be much bigger than Hilton.

EDIT: This is a photo of the world’s smallest recognized breed of pig, the kune kune. I’m sorry cartoons lied to you all.

This is the pot bellied pig, another famous “small” breed.

This is your average adult pig.

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catbountry

Big ole’ pigs.

Reblogging because I feel so misinformed about pigs right now. My life is a lie.

things ive heard people say in class:

  • “what if i just straight up break down in class and scare the shit out of ms neo so that she’ll postpone the test?”
  • “is it too early if i have a breakdown in january?” “its the second week, man.” “i know.” 
  • “let’s all just collectively skip the national exams, fuck the system!” *aggressive cheering*
  • in a really choked up voice, “i have rights.”
  • “what if i become a monk? do monks have to take exams?”
  • “in this context, what does ‘rapid’ mean?” “FAST AND FURIOUS”
  • “did y’all do the chem homework?” *collective ‘no’s* “alright, good. nobody be a wimp and do their homework, alright? if we’re fucked, we’re all fucked together.”
  • “wait, you mean to say that this school still teach fun stuff like music??
  • *scandalised gasp* “you stole my circle template’s virginity!” “all i did was hook a finger through one of the holes!” “exactly!” 
  • “i bought this $2 knee guard just because i want to pretend that i’m injured so that i can sit out of PE.” [slides knee guard on] “i have three consecutive tests after this and lord knows i need all the extra study time that i can get.”
  • in an increasingly panicked voice, “i can’t just do my lit homework in 30mins!” “well, i did.” “what did you put for characterisation and further analysis?” “i said the protagonist was a fuckboy, and then proceeded to write 3 paragraphs and a conclusion consisting of utter bullshit on why he’s a fuckboy.”
  • “don’t they call people from Germany, germanese?” said by a top student.
  • “i think i’m a hermaphrodite.”
  • “fuck, i hate this. can i just be an escort? or have like 67 sugar daddies?”
  • in the middle of physics class: “i’m leaving, i’m fucking leaving. i’m going down to the canteen to buy takeouts of 3 fishball noodles. y’all want anything?”
  • “i want the saddest pepe the frog meme you can find as our class logo.”
  • “i found a salsa dip in my bag, anyone have some chips?” [a girl sighs, puts down her calculator and reaches into her sports bag] “i do.”

concept

me, in the year 2040, getting ready for a fancy dinner party, standing in front of my antique gold vanity mirror, wearing a saint laurent f/w 2039 evening gown and cartier diamond earrings, taking a sip of champagne: what did you learn at school today, honey? :-)
my future child, laying on my king-sized bed with burgundy satin sheets: not much, in history we talked about the 2016 election. do you remember any of that?
me: drops my crystalline wineglass
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bombing

if you’re on the sun then sun dried tomatoes are just tomatoes

Wouldn’t they just be dried tomatoes, because they are still not normal tomatoes

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bombing

i just googled this and turns out there aren’t any tomatoes on the sun so it looks like we’re both wrong but more importantly you’re wrong

reblog if you want federally paid lesbian farmers to invade your town