Give me less "being kind requires zero effort" and more "being kind is worth the effort it takes."
Pretty much no impairment is as simple as abled people think it is.
People are taught to believe that disability is a simple “Can’t”. Can’t walk. Can’t talk. Can’t hear. Can’t see. An ability is just excised and no longer exists, if it ever did.
In reality, it’s rarely that simple.
It’s “I can sort of do x thing sometimes, but I get muscle spasms making it very dangerous or impossible to do it reliably or safely”. Or “I can do x thing but it causes me so much pain I will be unable to do anything else for hours or days after doing it”. Or “I can do x thing but I constantly injure myself doing it because of lack of muscle control”. Or “I can do x thing but so badly I functionally can’t do it two inches beyond my face, but now I have a mobile phone I can put up to my face so I can do it in certain very specific circumstances”.
None of these things mean someone isn’t disabled. And if you think it does, then it’s *your* ideas about disability that need to change.
The reason disabled people end up saying “can’t” when the reality is more complex is because people don’t trust our boundaries. They force us to injure ourselves instead of accommodating, or use energy that means we have none left to do *anything* else we need to do for the rest of the day. Or week. Or month.
Abled people need to start trusting disabled people, or you need to shut up, get out of any situation where you have power over us, and provide someone who will. Those are the only options.
The way we are expected to live in a performative hell of the making of more privileged people who then turn around and criticise us for not suffering in the precise way they have decided we should is genuinely nothing but ridiculous.
Just stop.
i feel like every human should max out at one disability or chronic illness. like when i hit adolescence and my brain chemistry went “bipolar time now?” the response should have been an error message like sorry! this slot can only contain one (1) item and has been filled with childhood asthma. i would even allow the possibility that you can overwrite previous disorders like “you have equipped chronic migraines and so no will no longer display symptoms of bipolar disorder.” i just think it should work that way.
I think somewhere people got confused and now think that "privileged" equals "oppressor" and "having privilege" equals "has the power to oppress".
It doesn't.
Would love to hear more about this, because I understand the first part, that privileged doesn’t automatically equal oppressor, but I don’t think I know enough to understand how having privilege doesn’t equal having the power to oppress.
Having privilege does not automatically grant you power.
I have working legs. This does not mean I am systemically oppressing people who need mobility aids, and it doesn't mean I have the power to do it, either. If I got elected to government and passed legislation that removed elevators and ramps on the basis of "Well I don't need them", then I'd be systemically oppressing people based on walking privilege.
It's exactly what I was saying on the other post; existing doesn't mean oppression.
You do not have mobility problems with your legs at the time of this posting. I do, but I can still walk with relatively little assistance as long as my pain is low and the terrain is not actively working against me. That doesn't mean the stairs in your house or apartment are oppressing me, or that your ability to climb them with no negative effects is oppressing me. You have the privilege of not needing to worry if you can actually make that climb and thus more avenues are open to you- you don't have to worry about the expense of buying a house with no stairs, you don't secondguess if you can actually take the flight, entire venues and employment/schooling oppurtunies and city streets and businesses aren't completely inaccessible to you because they exist on the third floor with no fucking elevator, you don't suffer sleepless at night when you were forced to take stairs you shouldn't have climbed. But unless *you*, specifically YOU, designed these stairways in these places with no other way to access the upper floors... it's not like you not needing to worry about that is directly oppressing me.
You CAN contribute to it- "why should stairs need to be accessible" "who even needs ramps and elevators" "I mean if you can walk you should be able to take a couple steps" "why do I need to make room for you on the elevator or wait for you to catch up" and my favorite "wow the world's youngest senior citizen" usually said when walking with my cane. But until that line is crossed, you existing as someone who can walk without pain unassisted is not directly oppressing me.
And that's the thing. Actions are oppression. Existing as someone with privilege does not mean you automatically oppress people.
"Having privilege" is morally neutral. Society is what bestows you privilege. That is completely out of your control.
"Oppression" is morally repugnant. Actions that contribute to the harm of others are terrible and bad and you should not do them.
Too many people conflate the two.
“they’re faking” I dont care. id rather give help and support and resources to people who dont need them than not give those things to those who do.
Thinking today about how as someone with major texture issues around most fruits and vegetables, it would have helped so much if someone had come to me years ago and said
Hey:
- Make it tiny
- Mix it with something Good Texture that you like
"Eat healthy!" they say, and then they show you pictures of a smiling woman digging a fork into half a butternut squash or eyeing a bowl of whole blueberries like a ravening wolf and your spine wants to crawl out through your skull at the thought of that Texture in your mouth.
But you know what I can do? Cut zucchini into paper-thin slices and cook it with noodles and marinara. Chop that spinach fine and scramble it with eggs and cheese. If I'm having a day where the thought of a grape popping in my mouth makes me nauseous, I can cut it in half. My chinese takeout gets diced into tiny pieces and mixed into the rice. It doesn't work with everything - seeds are still a Major Problem - but the number of fruits and veg and even world cuisines that I can eat has expanded SO MUCH since I discovered this. YMMV, but it's such a stupidly simple thing to do, and nobody ever told me.
Awesome thing my friend said to me today: Don’t apologize for taking medicine.
And she’s right! It’s not my fault I need meds; and I should be able to carry them with me and take them when I need it, whether that be in the middle of a restaurant, or a bookstore, or a car, or wherever else. Taking meds is okay, and we don’t need to apologize for needing them.
Disabled people pointing out ableism by the wider queer community is not "ruining the vibes" of pride month
Hey, if you're wanting to make some changes to how you eat, remember- it's much easier, healthier, and more sustainable to ADD foods that make you feel good than it is to REMOVE foods.
If you feel like you don't drink enough non-sugary fluids, it makes more sense to try drinking more tea and sparkling water than it does to just avoid soda. You gotta add in the good (and remember, that the only value food has is how it makes YOU feel. Food is morally nuetral and should be enjoyed.)
Try:
- Adding a handful of easy produce to lunch and dinner- baby carrots or cherry tomatoes, something 0 prep. And yes, you are allowed to dip it in dressing! (The fats can make it easier for your body to absorb the vitamins in the veggies)
- Adding a cheese stick or yogurt to breakfast. The protein is good and can help you wake up faster.
- Adding some roasted nuts to your afternoon snack. (ADD, not replace.) That variety and little protein boost will do you good!
- Have a glass of tea, sparkling water, or juice each time you have food. Let's be honest- you aren't hydrated enough. Go buy yourself some Kool Aide mix if that'll make you drink more water! Really!
- If you struggle with binge eating sugary foods and it makes you feel yuck when the sugar crash comes- eat 1 or 2 pieces of chocolate with lunch and dinner. Every day. Really. Make it not a big deal. Make it not special. Make it something you can expect, instead of crave. Let yourself enjoy it without guilt.
Remember- food is a gift. It should bring you joy, not stress. Trust your body. Enjoy the cookie. Drink something tasty.
Reminder that BetterHelp doesn't give a fuck about their patients and is actually a fucking terrible way to get therapy.
Please find other alternatives for BH because they're ATROCIOUS.
im in so much physical pain i might died
disgusting evil bastard muscle
the stingray
assign your mutuals a vibe
Mutuals or not, go for it
