take his ass to margaritaville
In honor of Jimmy Buffet’s passing. Take his ass to margaritaville one last time
Girls will be like Idk why im so unproductive recently and then you ask whats going on in their life and they list eight lifestopping crisies and then say 'yeah but i should be fine :/ '
they just don't make laptops butch like they used to. such an oversaturation of effete twinkish computers.
“Put him on his knees give him something to believe in” has the exact same energy and depth of meaning as anything Hozier puts out on the regular but since it’s sung by Megan Thee Stallion no one takes it seriously. In this essay I will-
the thing about being alone is that it’s so peaceful and freeing and cool apart from the evenings you descend into literal hell
cats will see u eating a single bagel and look at u like your a european monarch cackling eating every last shred of food while they a poor beggar boy go off and die at war for the kingdom of a god they no longer believe in
remember that interviews are not about giving a good and honest first impression that they'll carefully consider. interviews are about saying the special words and phrases they're looking for that give you points and when they tally those up whoever earned the most job points wins
they don't want to "know you" they want you to walk in there and regurgitate everything the job description said
isnt even a joke btw if you're autistic and/or unemployed and nobody taught you this yet i'm really sorry
The way I lift with my legs and not my back makes all the ladies in the warehouse swoon
The plan is to get hot within the next 3 years. Move to Europe. Be a fun party guy for a year or so. Then die in some sort of sex accident
I looove when food is in a bowl. Frequently plates are being brought out and I'm thinking this could've been a bowl meal but nobody gets it
somebody: so what do u like to do for fun? :)
me, very used to being mocked for my interests: ha ha, i dunno, i don’t do anything. Ever
Source: adhighdefinition
When they tell me about their weird fucked up dyke gender 🥵🥵🥵🥵
girl your gay divorce has a body count
sleeping positions that fuck up your spine feel so good for no reason it’s literally the devil’s deepest temptation
don't like the idea that film projectionists are being phased out of the modern cinema. i like knowing there is some mysterious guy up in the projection room making my movies happen like quasimodo ringing the bells
”I know nobody cares but I finally cleaned my room after a whi-“ ME!!!! I CARE!!!!!!!!! I CARE SO MUCH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! YOURE AMAZING!!! KEEP GOING!!!!!!!! IM PROUD OF YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!