Ein Schatz schlummert

Sumerian Veteran: *has severe PTSD but doesn't know it because the term won't be invented for another 5000 years* I fight the same battle in my dreams every night and my relationship with my family has fallen apart.

Sumerian Healer: *saw hundreds of veterans with the exact same affliction before* You're cursed by desert demons.

actually we have recorded texts of sumerian warriors describing symptoms that closely match ptsd, and the diagnoses was not desert demons, but rather "Those dudes you killed are still attacking you with their ghosts because you killed them"

Obsessed with going "No... i shan't say..." when it's very clear what I shan't say

I was looking through a list of plants that's poisonous to goats because I was curious what the other options were and let me just say

They could have had the "60's hippies" vibe in a very different way if they didn't insist on being pg

– Смотри: я сфинкс….

Can someone please translate this I feel like it’s important

“look: i’m a sphinx”

you’re right that was important

tumblr will always be a better website than twitter because you can only retweet a tweet once, whereas on this website if i really like a post i can make my followers scroll past it twelve times in a row

what the fuck. what the fuck am I. oh fuck I shouldn't have made that post

everyone thank evilmario666 for firing the rent-lowering gunshots

You mean that anti-shifter piece of shit? Everyone also curse evilmario666's name for using his jk rowling hate as an excuse to bully the reality shifting community. Even if he fired the rent-lowering gunshots, that won't excuse his shitty actions, he's on my DNI for a reason

everyone thank evilmario666 again

first thing id do as a skeleton is drink red wine from a goblet and have it spill out everywhere . second thing id do is play my ribs like a xylophone

See the thing about Oppa Homeless Style is it doesnt matter if it was ever “real” or not because the effect it had is real just the same. this whole situation is more or less what Metal Gear Solid V is about.

tfw you’re in history trying to remember why you already know about the subject you’re learning then the dark realization hits you

S THIS A FUCKING CALL OUT POST

bonus shoutout to me

[AMV] Jon Arbuckle - You’re Gonna Go Far Kid

this is one of my favorite videos on the internet, and it kills me that the source has been silenced by youtube’s copyright system, so I’m putting it here!

I have seen a version of this on tumblr before, but the audio in that one is just a little bit off because that person edited it back in themselves

but today, I am proud to present the original video, sent to me by Crispy Crungy, who gave me permission to upload it here and share it with you all!

enjoy!

I love this description. It reads like a dedication speech for an art museum. Like we’re all witnesses to this video being interred in the Met. Preserving these things is important, and they really captured that.

i can't stop thinking about this

call my girl pickle the way shes always gherkin

hi honey im home i hope youve posted lots of normal stuff about me today

This official Pop Team Epic sweater costs $235

worth every penny

tbh i was kinda disappointed the first time i sucked a dick. idk what i expected it to taste like but i was just like “oh okay”

Cock is one of my favorite tastes. Not only that, but balls smell amazing. It makes me go a little crazy on it to be honest. Like, I cannot get it far enough down my throat to be satisfied. I’m only satisfied when I feel those intense, powerful, salty, hot pumps of cum down my throat. When I sit back on my heels, look up at you with cum all over my mouth and slobber running down my neck, hair all fucked up and wipe my mouth with the back of my arm and ask you if I did a good job and you cannot even speak because I’ve drained all of your energy out the tip of your dick….. That’s when I’m satisfied.

certified iconic post

the weirdest thing about watching things from the 70s/80s/90s is their depictions of airports and planes. it feels so fictional how laid-back everything is.

what i wouldn't give to stroll into the airport like 15 minutes before departure with a carry on full of knives and liquor and chain smoke the entire flight

some of you are miserable because you're mean. like you're just mean to people and things

"why don't i have any friends" because you are mean

this can be fixed at least in part very easily though! just stop being mean. i believe in all of you 👍