✎ . . © @wjsneptune on twitter

Методом согласия - консенсуса, мы выбрали дату - 18 января. Этот день по праву будет считаться нашей годовщиной. Потому что, со слов Уютного Человека, в этот день мы взялись за руки и это был знак, подтверждение взаимности. 

И вот сегодня у нас что? Правильно, 18 февраля. Значит прошёл ровно месяц. Официоз. Но ведь надо знать дату, чтобы через время ныть «Ты что забыла какой сегодня день?». Честно говоря, я не зацикливаюсь на датах, годовщинах, мне достаточно знать, что мы - пара и пусть никто не смеет руки распускать в сторону моего Уютного Человека.

А знакомы мы больше, с начала ноября. И нам понадобился месяц, чтобы начать общаться лично, а не просто видится в компаниях, здороваться и подымать пивные бокалы в честь кого-то/чего-то. И пошло-поехало, понеслась, как говорится. Бесконечная переписка до утра, я осторожно подбираю знаки препинания, стараюсь не совать нос не в свои дела, затаив дыхание, жду наших встреч.

Если брать в расчёт официоз, то за месяц мы успели … что мы успели? Принять ванную вместе, с пеной и с пенными причёсками. Ты читала Достоевского вслух, пока я драила эту самую ванную, я пыталась уловить связь между героями, но … знаешь … всё же я перечитаю. Я готовила для тебя, что в принципе на грани фантастики, потому что оставшись дома одна на длительный период, я питаюсь исключительно фаст-фудом, бутерами с колбасой, сыром и ещё какой-то дрянью. А тут и жареная картошка, и рис с курицей, и, Господи, сырники. Ты - мой Уютный Человек. Я тебя нашла.

Мне хочется кормить тебя, стирать тебе, штопать и, в общем, заботиться о тебе полностью, а ты, главное, обнимай меня и говори: «Маленькое солнышко, огромное счастье».

нам с тобой нужно поговорить.

я сравниваю свои успехи с достижениями известных людей, моих родителей, знакомых и учителей. я понимаю, что я достигла примерно ничего.

мне стыдно за то, что я делаю.

я смотрю на рисунки талантливых художников и мне стыдно за то, что я взяла в руки карандаш. я слышу, как мой кумир играет на укулеле и мне стыдно за то, что я когда-то переступила порог музыкального магазина. я читаю чужие посты в тамблере и мне стыдно за то, что я вообще имею наглость писать посты один за другим. я слушаю ответы одногруппниц на парах и мне стыдно за то, что я вообще хотела высказать своё мнение.  я смотрю в зеркало и мне стыдно за то, что я выгляжу так неухоженно и небрежно. я смотрю на свои бока и мне стыдно за то, что я такая толстая и моя фигура выглядит не сексуально.

а знаете, за что мне д е й с т в и т е л ь н о должно быть стыдно?

мне должно быть стыдно за то, что я даже не пыталась научиться рисовать что-либо, думая, что у меня всё должно сразу получаться, а когда встречались трудности, я забрасывала любой рисунок. мне должно быть стыдно за то, что я так и не старалась научиться брать баррэ на гитаре и укулеле, из-за чего моя игра зациклена на нескольких простых аккордах, не приносящих разнообразия в мою музыку. мне должно быть стыдно за то, что я не продвигаю свои навыки письма, ограничиваясь теми знаниями, которые получила в школе, из-за чего я пишу не так хорошо, как хотелось бы. мне должно быть стыдно за то, что я не стараюсь расширить свой кругозор и порой даже не открываю учебники, из-за чего мои знания порой не так обширны, как у моих одногруппниц.  мне должно быть стыдно за то, что я не ухаживаю за собой и не стараюсь выглядить так, как мне хотелось бы. мне должно быть стыдно за то, что я практически не напрягаю себя физически и хожу в зал лишь тогда, когда этого требует, собственно, урок физической культуры, при этом не ставя себе цель снижения веса.

но знаете, что?

часто мы, подростки, недооцениваем себя. да, это не новость, есть сотни пояснений данной ситуации, но мы, чёрт возьми, продолжаем ненавидеть себя за то, что мы не рисуем как Ван Гог; за то, что мы не играем на укулеле, как Тайлер Джозеф; за то, что мы не пишем, как Шекспир; за то, что мы не делаем открытия, как Ньютон; за то, что мы не выглядим как Брэд Питт или Дженнифер Энистон; за то, что мы не похожи на всех этих взрослых знаменитых людей, которые достигли огромных вершин.

послушай.

подойди к зеркалу. что ты видишь? о, я скажу, что.  перед тобой молодой человечек, которому в большинстве случаев ещё рано быть знаменитым на весь мир. сейчас в твоей жизни золотое время. да, это так, не спорь со мной. ты можешь заниматься тем, чем тебе нравится. ищи себя. перепробуй всё: играй на арфе, рисуй маслом, начни тягать железо, запишись в волонтёры, напиши рассказ о своём лучшем дне, выучи все стихи любимого поэта, вызубри законы ядерной физики. и в конце концов ты поймёшь, что тебе близко. и знаешь, что потом? потом ты должен развивать свои навыки. да, тебе понадобится много сил. очень много сил и времени. но я обещаю, что это того стоит. ты будешь падать. тебя будут оскорблять, многим будет не нравиться то, что ты делаешь. но только так ты сможешь достигнуть вершин.

ты – всего лишь подросток. 

ты не должен быть профессионалом своего дела. ты не можешь им быть. пока что.  сейчас у тебя есть время, чтобы учиться всему тому, в чём когда-то ты станешь профи.  не сравнивай себя со знаменитостями, родителями и знакомыми. ты – это ты. и других таких не будет. тебе не нужно никому подражать. просто будь собой и не переставай верить в чёртову мечту.

я поддерживаю тебя.

Goodnight yongdonnie.

ig: tsunaina

its kinda scary how your whole life depends on how well you do as a teenager 

oh my god No it doesn’t don’t put this kind of pressure on people?? you can absolutely fuck up in your teen years and continue on to a good life just fine. you can drop out of school, get a GED, still go to college and finish your degree as late as you want. i know people in my school who still haven’t graduated and they’re 26. some older. you can always transfer someplace else, always build yourself up from the ground. after a certain amount of college credits, a lot of schools really don’t care about your high school GED or your SAT scores anymore. if you fuck up in your teenage years you are not a failure!! you can ALWAYS re-invent yourself, always start over. there is always a second chance.

Reblogging this for my followers freaking out over art school/college. I dropped out of high school and never thought I’d get into college as easily as I did. You will be fine!

Fun story my biology professor just told us:  When he was 23 he was married to his wife and worked two jobs to support them since she was in college: gas station attendant and construction worker.  He worked these two jobs because that was the only work he could get since he was at the reading level of a third grader.  

One night he was writing something and his wife noticed he was writing from right to left.  Since she was studying occupational therapy she realized he had a learning disability and started working with him.  He slowly began to learn to read, and at 26 got his GED and went to college.

His first year of college he took the lowest level math course he could take, 001.  Over the years he worked on learning what he needed to, ended up graduating with a biology degree.  He then went on to get his masters and PhD, graduating at the top of his class.  He is now an extremely accomplished biologist and professor.

So don’t let anyone tell you that you’re future is based on your choices as a teenager.

Seriously.  Do not believe this.  You aren’t even stuck with your choices you make in your 20s.  I didn’t start working in my current field until just after my 30th birthday.  It has nothing to do with what I went to school for in my 20s.  My husband has a political science degree, and he’s a sports journalist.

You are not tied to anything.  Go.  Be.

My day job did not exist when I was a teenager. And the idea of trying to be an author was a distant thing on my radar. I thought I was going to be an English teacher. And then I thought I was going to be a music teacher. And then I thought I was going to be a drama teacher.

Also in there: therapist, early childhood educator, then finally: web developer–because by then it was an actual thing that existed. I didn’t actually figure out what I “wanted to do when I grew up” until about eight years ago, when I was 36. I tried pursuing writing when I was 30, stopped, then started pursuing it seriously again when I was 40. 

There is always time to change. And don’t let anyone tell you that high school is “the best time of your life” either, because that’s bullshit too.

Reblogging for my followers. My high school teachers didn’t know what to do with me, and I failed everything but a low photography grade. I thought university wasn’t for me, and settled for marrying a mediocre man who spent all day on Warcraft. Then I went to community college. Now I’m in uni doing a double English and philosophy degree, just back from America. I am also single.

Also important: College is not the only option. Don’t let anyone try to tell you it is. If you’re not academically inclined, the trades are an option and they are a good option– if the only thing you think you’re good at is make-up do that. There are people who can live comfortably just doing make-up. We have this idea planted in our heads as teenagers (and younger) that not fitting into an academic mould of some sort means you’re failing at life and this is bullshit. There’s no reason to feel like you’re “failing at life” because you don’t like school or were never good at it. We need skilled workers in the world, and the thing they don’t tell you is all work is skilled work. If it’s work, it takes skill. Yes, this encompasses “service” jobs, it encompasses all jobs. Please don’t think that what you do, or what you have an interest in doing is of less value than something that requires a college education. This coming from the college-educated white girl who is a seamstress because it’s what I enjoy. If college isn’t going to get you where you want to go, than you don’t need to go! It’s that simple. Take whatever path you need to get to where you are happy and comfortable and fufilled. If you’re doing what you love you are sucessful.

i didn’t graduate with my bachelor’s until i was 26 and life took a few turns along the way but now, at 37, i have a job that makes me genuinely happy. and it’s got nothing to do with how well i did in high school.

This! This make me cry… I’m 23 and I really don’t know where I’m going, so reading this kinds of storys makes me feel hope!

I love all this support and inspiring stories, but what I think op was getting at was that our teachers/parents/elders ingrain this idea in us that if we fuck up in our teens, we fuck up everything. So don’t ever let adults make you feel less for needing/spending more time to achieve your goals. You’re still amazing if you get a degree at 24 or 44 or even not at all

for everyone needing this as much as i do right now

Concept: you’ve been married to your wife for 3 years. You wake up in your bed before she does, your nose cold but your body warm. Careful not to wake her, you get out of bed and your toes curl when your feet hit the cold floor. You brew a pot of coffee and take a cup, making sure to leave enough for her. You pull on a big sweater and walk out onto your deck, sitting in a big wood chair to look out over the forest. The leaves are orange and edged with frost. All is quiet as the sun rises over the trees. You hear the door opening behind you and your wife sits down next to you, wrapping the comforter from your bed around both of you shoulders. You sit there like that until the sun is well up and your coffee cups are empty.

Oh my god. This is it. I want this so badly.

— Alice Muhlback, Lesbian Etiquette: Humorous Essays

hastily put together my OWN yuri on ice about a figure skater and hockey player that use the same ice rink and Nakita discovers herself and what she wants as she discovers another girl, from the hockey team, starts crushing on her. 

welcome!!!!!! this is long overdue. i’ve been promising myself i’d made this forever. so here it is - the ultimate masterpost of wlw (women loving women) books. not all characters are lesbians, some are bi or pan, though all books feature f/f relationships and/or themes. there are 150+ recommendations, so enjoy!

YOUNG ADULT CONTEMPORARY:

FANTASY/PARANORMAL/SCIENCE FICTION:

CRIME/MYSTERY/THRILLER:

HISTORICAL:

ADULT FICTION:

COMICS BOOKS/GRAPHIC NOVELS:

NON-FICTION:

Dan Yuan Ren Chang Jiu

Victo Ngai

但願人長久，千里共嬋娟。Art for a bittersweet space-war girls love short story by JY Yang.

Many thanks to Tor.com and AD Irene Gallo, always a pleasure.  

girls who are exclusively attracted to other girls but are afriad of using the word “lesbian” to describe themselves are valid. it’s a word that has become so synonymous with being dirty or pornographic that using it can be daunting, but it’s okay to take your time before using it as an identifier. youre not dirty for your attraction to girls. you’re not fake for being uncomfortable with saying lesbian. take your time. it’s okay.

It’s also become synonymous with harshness, meanness, ugliness, and an unachieveable “standard”, none of which is true. All the people in the notes that are proud of not using lesbian to describe themselves…that’s not what this post is about.. you definitely shouldn’t feel shame for not using the word, but you should absolutely be at least examining (and hopefully confronting) why you feel so repulsed by this word. There’s a reason.

why aren’t these being reblogged more often? i rather see these than “keys in hand”

Fatality

Umm so since I’m stupid could someone kindly explain each step for me like step 3 am i head butting him in the face or the chest? 

I think it depends on the height of the person, but I suppose the head is a more effective target. I hope this helps :)

Step 1: Step back the moment he reaches for you.

Step 2: Duck!

Step 3: Head butt him in the chin. It’s very important that it is the chin and not the chest because it is much more uncomfortable and disorienting to have your teeth bang together especially if it cuts his tongue (which it will if it is in the way). More than likely height won’t matter. He will be leaning forward from the missed attempt at grabbing you.

Step 4: Knee him in the balls.

Step 5: When he doubles over, jab him on his back. I believe at the base of the neck just above the shoulder blades would be best. I’m not an expert, but this seems like the best place, imo.

Step 6: Don’t lose contact. Bring your other hand over and slam your hands against the sides of his heads as hard as possible. Right on the ears is the best place; it is extremely disorienting if done correctly. Then take his head and bring it down on your knee as you bring your knee up. It’s very important that you avoid the nose because if you knee his nose it will definitely break and more than likely the bones will stab his brain killing him, so aim for his mouth instead.

Step 7: Keep your knee up and bring your foot out to kick him over. Personally, I don’t like the image because it looks like she kicked him with her toes. You do not want to do that. Instead kick him with the ball or heel of your foot and put power behind it with a push.

Step 8: He is on the ground. You could probably stop here and he would get the picture, but if you really want to…Your leg is still in the air from the kick. With all your force slam the edge of your your heel on his side. It will be more effective if you lower your body first by bending at the knee of the leg your weight is on. Done right, you can break a rib or two.

reblogging again for that^

Reblogging for the steps in the image and the explanation in the comments. I don’t so much like the explanation on the image proper, but I appreciate the thought behind it (here, have a self-defense thing, it could save you) and so I’m passing it on.

yes

nice

Step 10: Goto jail for excessive force.

^^^^^

you can often avoid excessive force charges by running the moment they hit the ground. Also excessive force tends to be more lenient based on the size of the attacker vs the victim and if its a man on woman crime, but to be safe, once they are on the ground they are usually considered “neutralized” and that’s when you should book it

Remember this is coming from a martial artist and a former security guard (meaning I’ve had to study the “force continuum”).

You’re right, but the head butt and the immediate knee to the groin would be enough, anything after that is questionable.

In Australia especially, according to the above diagram you’ve struck them 5+ times and they haven’t struck you once, that’s excessive force.

Anything after those two hits (the head butt could also do serious damage, but you’d easily get away with that one) could cause some serious fucking damage and you really shouldn’t be fucking around with that kind of stuff.

Going by the text instructions: Step 6 and elbow to the spine has potential paralysis. Step 7 with the ear slap can bust eardrums. The knee to the face could cause all kinds of damage to the skull. Step 8 (is not a kick as the text suggests that just showing you how to lift for an axe kick) that axe kick could break ribs, or even puncture a lung with one of the ribs.

Seriously, the first two hits are plenty, when they’re bent over (assuming they haven’t already hit the deck at this point) a simple push or even push kick is going to put them on the ground and you’re capable of walking away, anything you do after that point is on you.

Reblogging with reasons why you shouldn’t go this hard.

i cannot emphasize this enough: if you’re a lesbian who feels lonely and/or outspoken wrt being a lesbian, seek out other lesbians whose posts you like and speak to them. send them a tweet or an ask introducing yourself and saying hi.

even though putting yourself out there can feel really scary, it is SO incredibly worth it when even one person responds and you get a conversation (& eventually, friendship) going! surround yourself with other lesbians online, especially if you don’t have lesbian friends you know offline or lesbian spaces you can go to in person.

i can promise you, doing so will do WONDERS for your self-esteem, your overall mental health, and cut down on any internalized homo/lesbophobia you might struggle with.

i think many of us forget - at least, i did for a long time! - that you can carve out your own spaces both offline and online. you can curate a wonderful space full of love and positivity for yourself, a place that helps reinforce pride in yourself and who you are. it’s so important for your mental health and your growth! at least, i know it has been for mine - and i am so happy every time i am reminded i have this wonderful little corner on the internet, full of different lesbians all from different walks of life who love and cherish lesbians.

‘In 1778, two Irish gentlewomen put on men’s clothing and ran away together.  Lady Eleanor Butler had received several offers of marriage but was determined to share her life with her friend Sarah Ponsonby. […] They spent the rest of their lives in a black and white house called Plas Newydd outside Llangollen, cultivating their garden, improving their minds and filling the house with clocks, cabinets and “whirligigs of every shape and hue”.  [They also had] a little dog called Sapho.’

“Friend”

They literally named their dog Sapho

just 18th century gals being pals

I hate that teenage girls are indoctrinated into a feminism which teaches them to do everything the patriarchy would teach them anyways, with a slightly adjusted attitude. You should wear lipstick and eyeliner… Bc it’s a weapon!! You can ride that dick and still be a feminist!! You should have violent sex and have men control you sexually - bc kink is so hot and liberating. And we end up with an entire generation of young women fully indoctrinated into coercive femininity, & thinking they are somehow liberating themselves or serving the revolution. Here’s a hint: if your brand of feminism is telling you to do all the shit misogynistic society tells you to do, and the only difference is how you’re supposed to feel about it, nothing has changed. The patriarchy doesn’t care how you feel. Men don’t care how you feel as long as you’re wearing makeup and fucking them.

a collections of links to readings on asian-american gay and lesbian history

“Asian Lesbians in San Francisco: Struggles to Create a Safe Space, 1970s-1980s,” Trinity A. Ordona, in Asian/Pacific Islander American Women: A Historical Anthology, 2003 [starts on p. 319]

“Tomboy, Dyke, Lezzie, and Bi: Filipina Lesbian and Bisexual Women Speak Out,” Christine T. Lipat, Trinity A. Ordona, Cianna Pamintuan Steward, and Mary Ann Ubaldo, in Pinay Power: Peminist Critical Theory (2005)

“Slicing Silence: Asian Progressives Come Out,” Daniel C. Tsang, in Asian Americans: The Movement and the Moment, 2001

“Sexuality, Identity, and the Uses of History,” Nayan Shah, in Q & A: Queer in Asian American, 1998 [starts on p. 141]

“Subverting Seductions,” Gupta, Unruly Immigrants, 2007 [starts on p. 159]

“Queer Asian American Historiography,” Amy Sueyoshi, in The Oxford Handbook of Asian American History, 2016 [contains discussion of csa]

“Miss Morning Glory: Orientalism and Misogyny in the Queer Writings of Yone Noguchi,” Amy Sueyoshi, in Amerasia Journal, 2011

“Breathing Fire: Remembering Asian Pacific American Activism in Queer History,” Amy Sueyoshi, in LGBTQ America: A Theme Study of Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, Transgender, and Queer History, 2016

“Looking for Jiro Onuma: A Queer Meditation on the Incarceration of Japanese Americans during World War II,“ Tina Takemoto, in GLQ: A Journal of Lesbian and Gay Studies, 2014

”Gay Asian Community Oral History Project“ (abstracts only)

Completed set of historical lesbian couples! I’m so proud of these babies :D

 I’m bringing these as stickers to ECCC (AA GG12), along with all our historical queer comics!