My pussy is fat my heart is fatter got a tiny brain made of snickerdoodle batter

who is she?

Marie Kondo

Me when I hear the microwave ding:

pink is the best color. like sign me up i will literally take pink anything. if i had to choose between regular clear water and pink water with no context i would drink the pink water no questions asked just glug glug glug drinking that sweet mysterious bubblegum tinted liquid 

nintendo owns my pussy they creampied me but instead of cum its really good games

This is one of the most adorable comics I’ve ever read

I’ve been waiting for this to pop back up on my dashboard.. we are way too hard on ourselves.

uwu ♡

go crazy aaaaaaaaaaaaa

go stupid aaaaaaaaaa

my

is to

and then act like i don’t know

Listening to time adventure

Listening to come along with me (island song)

y’all: peter was able to stop bucky’s fist in civil war bc bucky heard peter’s voice, realized he was a child, then weakened his punch bc he was so worried about hurting a child uwu

me, eating pistachios: y’all know peter can canonically lift up to 75 tons, right. y’all know bucky’s fist is easy as hell for peter to block, right. y’all know bucky didn’t know shit about peter being a child and was just shocked that someone was able to so easily block his punch, right. y’all know that, right.

naw fuck that bucky’s punches aren’t easy to block, it’s WAY funnier if peter blocked a full force punch from bucky, who only a few seconds later realizes he’s a kid as soon as peter opens his mouth

that’s the face of a man who went from “holy shit he blocked my punch?” to “holY SHiT a 12 YEARoLD BLOCKED mY PUNCH???” in 3 seconds flat.

Next second is “i triED TO PUNCH A CHILD”

i physically can’t scroll past this post

my main goal is to become a casserole 

and act like i don’t know no body

I’m p

Yes I’m

Yes hmmms ow

Eh

Tnhk

Tumblr wouldn’t let me upload the video but I let the mice write a tumblr post for me and this is the result :^)

Tnhk you too

honestly the concept of doppelgangers is scary but if i saw myself i probably wouldn’t be that terrified. like i know she can’t run for more than 3 minutes straight. i know she can’t do basic maths. she’s not going to do anything. she doesn’t even know what day it is

The detective pikachu trailer: uses a song that both has a musical motif similar to pokemon music and lyrics to match the theme, shows a lot of time and effort went into creating the visuals and world, has a lot of connections to/references to the games while also being original in its setting and plot, shows a lot of effort and care and gets you hype

The sonic trailer: a small furry man is the bane of jim carrey’s existence. Gangsters paradise. Fuck you

Remember

MALCOM WE HAVE TO COOK

Why do the Mormons who walk around handing out flyers at my college have the fattest asses??

You’re not going to heaven.