Mute you’re a visionary

Is this British culture?

Karen knows no nationality

The Elder Scrolls music really puts this over the top.

Get you a party this lit

I know this is a standard party but I can’t help but bring my 

It is approved, I also present this roster update.

That Paladin fashion gets a 10/10 from me

chaotic neutral

I wonder if my ancestors are smilling apon me sometimes

Behold,, a man.

Sp

Evolution of man

the Komodo Dragon is the biggest, strongest, most dangerous apex predator that is physically incapable of looking at all threatening

i could conceivably be torn to pieces and eaten alive by these things and my last words would be “lmao” 

me on my way to bring down an elk twice my size using deadly bacteria that grows on my fangs

The “septic bacteria” thing is a myth. Komodo Dragons have venom glands, but they don’t even play a very big role in bringing down their prey, as studies show they hunt in a manner that’s actually very similar to tigers and other mammalian predators (as described in this fantastic Imgur post http://imgur.com/gallery/RUeB9 ).

me on my way to bring down an elk twice my size in a manner that’s very similar to tigers and other mammalian predators

The Collection

I love this persons work lmao

good post

This is so wholesome

Update: he finally got the cat to the vet to see if she had a microchip

I was already on board with his sweet wholesome open-to-love-and-nurturing heart but I was fully unprepared for getting to that last tweet and seeing how off the hook HOT dude is

https://twitter.com/pariszarcilla?lang=en heres his twitter is here there is also additonal cat photos of his children. 

CAT DAD IS BACK

aww, the kids grow up so fast. ;-;

HHHHHHHH I LOVE CAT DAD!

This is, by far, the single most adorable fucking thing I have ever seen. 

update:

I love that he kept …. All of them.

I’ve reblogged the earlier part of this thread before, and the new stuff makes it even better.

This is the Tumblr equivalent of a warm hug on a cold day.

You’re welcome.

I remember this thread, but I never saw the grown-up pics ❤

This is the most pure Twitter thread in existence <3

for the love of god i beg you UNMUTE this 

BABY OH NO

She is obsessed with him. (Btw her name is Petunia and my black beast is Atreyu).

He’s given up trying to get away from her. They sleep like this almost every night.

Follow me on Webtoons

Since everyone liked that photo so much, here’s the last two weeks of their love 😂😂

when I tell u I LOST IT

Peak Cat Behavior

Knowing your life’s purpose

As promised, here are some pictures of Lyalya’s first walk outside! Look at the bushy little squirrel tail :D the sandpit was her favorite spot! She was extremely excited and threw sand all over the place

this is a fucking squirrel. this is a fucking squirrel with a cat’s head. who is responsible for this

Has science gone too far

my cousin’s cat was acting really weird today, freaking out and not letting anyone near her, hissing and growling, and it got so concerning they decided to take her to the vet

it took two adults to get the cat into the carrier and in the process my aunt got clawed so badly she had to go to the emergency room for shots/stitches, so eventually the cat gets to the vet

the vet has to sedate her to take a look and it turns out she has a piece of tape on her leg that’s scaring her real bad. and that’s all

I just saw these news that this brazilian 15 years old boy made a fake profile pretending to be a 14 years old girl

And with this profile, he baited a creepy old dude

And so they agree to meet at a nearby park during the night.

And the old dude goes there, expecting to find some naive girl to be preyed upon

only to find the 15 years old boy

dressed as SPIDER-MAN

AND DRESSED AS SPIDER-MAN

THE BOY KICKED THE DUDE’S ASS. LIKE. LEGIT KICK HIS ASS

HE HAD BRASS KNUCKLES

Of course, the creep wasn’t happy with it, and called the police on the spiderman kid. And when the police found the kid, you know what he did?

He said “that guys a pedo lol” and gave them a drive with all the evidence he collected thru the profile

Thank you, Spider-man. Thank you for your service.

YOU GO FELLOW BRAZILIAN SPIDERMAN

“Teenager dressed as spiderman beats up a suspect of pedophilia in Joaçaba”

“With great powers come great responsibilities”

a self insert fanfic: i brushed my long blonde hair out my face to show off my clear blue eyes and pale complexion

my colored ass:

a self insert fanfic: i slipped on my size 00 jeans and smiled as he wrapped his arms around my tiny waist!

my fat ass:

self insert fanfic: they towered over my small and short frame.

my amazonian ass:

ThESE HIT HARDDDDD

self insert fanfic: only for my dad to say I couldn’t go to the dance.

My fatherless ass:

Self insert fanfic: he gazed into my big round eyes.

My Asian ass:

Self insert fanfic: his thumb grazed over my small perky breast

My big tiddie ass:

This post jumped me in an arby’s parking lot

The short involves Goofy doing domestic chores for his wife, which was an odd concept in the 1950′s. So based on the Milkman not knowing who he was kissing in this bit, it implies that Goofy’s wife was fucking the Milkman.

Goofy’s face. His fucking face. I’M DYING.

YOU BEEN SCREWIN THE MILKMAN

me: (googling) snake bite leg what to do

google: elevate and apply pressure

me: (lifting snake real high) apologize or else