Fannibal Holiday Exchange: The Night Before Christmas
A Very Special Murder Family Episode
This is my gift to @thesilverqueenlady in the @fannibals-buffet Fannibal Holiday Exchange. It is a fix-it fic for Season Two, with major canon divergence, and some liberties taken with the timeline. There is also an offscreen guest appearance by another Fullerverse character.
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’Twas the night before Christmas, and all through the house
Not a creature was stirring, not even a Lass.
The legs had been hung in the pantry with care,
In hopes that Jack Crawford soon would be there.
The trainees were shackled all snug in their beds,
While visions of Chilton danced in their heads.
Alana in my shirt, I in my surgeon’s mask
Had just settled our brains for a one-sided nap.
When down in the kitchen arose such a clatter,
I sent Abigail to see what was the matter.
And out through the window Alana did crash,
Tore open the shutters and shattered the glass.
The moon on the glint of her newly-spilt blood
Gave a fine sheen of black to my ex in the mud.
But what hove into view as I stood there agog?
A miniature sled, pulled by eight mongrel dogs.
With a scruffy smol driver, so hellbent on mayhem,
I knew in a moment it must be Will Graham.
More rapid than eagles his trackers they came,
And he whistled, and shouted, and called them by name!
“Now Winston! now, Buster! now, Applesauce! Jack!
“On, Harley, On, Ellie! on, Zoe and Max!
“To the base of the basement! the top of the wall!
“Now dash around! Dash around! Dash around all!”
As dry leaves that before the wild hurricane fly,
When they meet with an obstacle, mount to the sky.
So in through the chimney the trackers they flew,
To the scent of their quarry, and Will Graham too.
And then, in a twinkling, I heard underfoot
The yapping and barking of each little mutt.
As I drew in my head, and was turning around,
Up from the cellar came Katz with a bound.
She had vertical lines from her head to her foot,
But she walked and she talked as the living Katz could.
“The cup came together, and time did go back,
“You got what you wanted, you silly sad sack.”
Will’s eyes- how they twinkled! His dimples how merry!
His cheeks were like roses, his nose like a cherry!
His droll little mouth was drawn up like a bow,
As he smirked “She’s come back - you’re truly a schmo.”
Cooking lessons, it seemed, were the key to Bev’s health,
And I laughed when I saw her, in spite of myself!
A pieman had taught Will the tricks of his trade,
I couldn’t quite grasp it, but I wasn’t afraid.
He spoke not a word, but went straight to the house,
And led out dear Abigail meek as a mouse.
And laying his finger aside of his nose,
And reaching his hand to Alana, she rose.
Then Will sprang to his sled, to his team gave a whistle,
The Murder Family fled, like the down of a thistle.
And here’s our refrain, as we drive out of sight,
“Happy Christmas to all, and to all a good-night!”