Spider-Man: No Way Home + Text Posts

Technically true.

He got the job.

He takes his job seriously.

Prof Rad over on youtube dubbed the Wolf Hunter comic (click here)! 

Go check it out and give them some support! :) (also the end killed me haha) ₍ᐢ•ﻌ•ᐢ₎

The farmer sheared the sheep, and it was used to make a gift for Wolf Hunter, so…

It got better!🥺💙

The wolf in sheep’s clothing*

Damn frog okay

it never hit me how shortsighted Heaven is until i realized they put a Principality (whose entire raison d’être is to protect places and people from harm) in charge of Earth, and then were genuinely surprised when Armageddon came and said Principality went absolutely off-the-grid feral trying to stop it

Where did I read the sentence “you can’t give a Principality a territory and then act surprised when they become territorial”

Honestly, given how Heaven reacts to everything throughout Good Omens, I’m 99% sure that they meant for Aziraphale to be guarding against the humans, and Aziraphale just had one of his “I’m going to selectively hear those orders” moments, and the rest was history.

“And,” Gabriel said with a wink, “you’re going to be a guardian in the human realm.”

Aziraphale nodded and winked back.

As methods of communication go, a wink is quite versatile. You can say a lot with a wink. For example, Gabriel’s wink meant:

You’re going to go down to that earthly territory and make sure those hairless monkeys don’t do anything to get in the way of the divine plan and make sure they know what it is to fear the wrath of the Almighty and behave themselves as lesser beings should.

And as far as he was concerned, Aziraphale’s answering wink meant: I shall indeed descend to the earthly plane full of gross matter and hairless monkeys and be sure to keep them in their well-deserved place, beneath our divine heel.

Whereas Aziraphale, on the other hand, thought that Gabriel’s wink was more along the lines of: You lucky beggar Aziraphale, getting to go down there and look after God’s new humans and all the exciting things they have to make and discover. Now you go down there and experience all the humans have to offer and protect them with your life.

And therefore, his own wink had meant: Message received and understood. The humans will never have a more stalwart guardian. Looking forward to seeing what sushi is when it comes around.

It took quite some time for angels to learn the important of using words when dispatching pedantic principalities on human-sitting duty.

reblogging for the wink

“Friend.”

What, you don’t beg for kisses and have sex dreams about ur old school friends? Pfft, grow up 😤

An addition

Just bros being bros!

QUEERING FAIRYTALES: Peter Pan

OMG, i absolutely love this queering fairytales series(?). Its so lovely and i scroolled way to deep to actually see more of it

SCREECHING

I feel attacked

I feel called out. :/

overprotective

I’m sure Edward’s tendency toward overprotection is largely due to Jasper’s. But the funny thing is, in Jasper’s case it never seems to work?

—-1950—- Jasper: These Cullens sound nice but you don’t know vampires like I do. We need to keep our distance. Alice: You’re right, it would be crazy to go put myself in danger with a vampire I’ve never met just because my visions said it was my destiny. Jasper: Hi everyone we’re here to join the fam —-In Calgary—- Jasper: Maria’s coming?! You’re staying a million miles away from this. Alice: But if I don’t meet her how am I going to be able to use my gift for surveillance in the future? Jasper: *scowl* I hate when you get all realistic. —-Twilight—- Jasper: I won’t allow Alice to live in danger. This Bella kid is toast. Alice: Don’t you dare, she’s my new best friend! Jasper: toast aborted ma'am —-New Moon—- Jasper: Over my dead body are you going alone to Volterra! Alice: lol I’m already on the plane —-Eclipse—- Jasper: *rawr* No newborns near my Alice! Alice: Would you stop getting in my way?! Jasper: *gets bitten up like a chew toy* —-Breaking Dawn Part 1—- Jasper: Listen, when the birth starts I want you out of the house. I’ll take care of the mini-monster. Alice: What do you think for the baby’s wallpaper? Bunnies or ducks? Jasper: *sigh* ducks. —-Breaking Dawn Part 2—- Jasper: Escape to South America and safety while everyone else gets killed? I mean wow, but it’s nice to see you finally taking the danger so ser- Alice: Silly, we’re just looking for backup! We’re going right back. Jasper: The hell we are! You’re safe here! Jasper: Hey guys we’re back. What, did you think we would just abandon you?

this has no business being so funny lmao ‘toast aborted ma’am’

How to be scary and evil while still bringing joy and comfort to everyone around me

HIM REFUSING TO WORK WITH A DIALECT COACH IS SO FUCKING FUNNY I LOVE THIS MAN HE’S INSANE

EeeYYEEENT GONTAKETHEBLAYME

“Part of why Pattinson’s performances in The Devil All the Time and The King rise above his hapless costars’ is because it seems as if he frequently operates on a totally different page than the rest of the cast and crew. In the moody and atmospheric The Lighthouse, where he plays more of a true co-lead, for example, Pattinson claimed that he “didn’t really think it was a horror film, because I thought it was so funny.” Some believed he was trolling with his over-the-top French accent in The King. Mashable’s Angie Han, in sharing her pan of The Devil All the Time, suggested that Pattinson was actually doing a sort of meta-performance with his campy, whining reverend, claiming he was the only one on set who seemed to recognize how comedic the movie actually was. Though I felt more generously toward The Devil All the Time than she did, I’m convinced by her argument; Pattinson stands out because his performances are often cleverer than the movies he’s in. When that’s the case, his more earnest costars don’t stand a chance.” - You don’t want to be in a movie with Robert Pattinson 

That’s it. You broke RPatz down into his fundamental elements.

vampires really should be able to get drunk they literally have to be alive forever let them have this

hc: vampires have no blood so they get drunk faster than people

charlie pulling over a shirtless carlisle at 4 am: dr cullen your blood alcohol content is literally 100% how are you not dead carlisle: au contraire im absolutely dead

I did not expect a decent twilight joke on my dash in 2019, but nevertheless there it is and it’s hilarious.

Prompt I will never do anything with: instead of being given to the Dursleys, Harry Potter is put up for adoption and is adopted by the Addams Family

Gomez, being forcibly removed from the stands of a Hogwarts quidditch match for the third time: MY BOY! MY BOY’S UP THERE! HE’S SEEKER!

McGonagall, sweating: Mr. Addams, how do you keep sneaking onto grounds

As I said to @door :

Wednesday is woefully jealous of how dramatic Harry's origin is and fiercely protective of him, only SHE is allowed to torture him

Harry's hair would be more slicked back and shinier than Draco could ever hope to achieve Harry still gets sorted into Gryffindor Morticia says he gets that from Gomez' side of the family

Meanwhile Wednesday gets into Hogwarts as well,

*During House assigning*

Professor McGonnagal: Wednesday Addams.

Wednesday *begins to get up*

Sorting hat: Yeah no, no, sit back down kid. You’re Slytheren. I have never been more sure of anything in my existence.

*Later at Slytheren dorm*

Draco: Well look, if it isn’t Potter’s little Mudblood sister, listen up you little...

Wednesday: *Shoots Malfoy a glare which instantly silences him.* You will listen to me and listen carefully. I do not like repeating myself. Harry is off limits. In fact, everyone in Gryffondor is off limits, that goes for the rest of you. If you cause ANY trouble for my adopted brother, you will answer directly to me. Is this understood?

Draco:...Yes mum.

*Later in potions class*

Snape: Potter, you were two seconds late, twenty points from Gryffondor.

Wednesday: *Picks up beaker and smashes it on the floor.* Professor Snape. I have wilfully destroyed school property. I believe that is a twenty point deduction from Slytheren house.

Snape: Did you? Well I didn’t see it so.

Wednesday: *Gets up, walks to the front of the class, looking Snape in the eye the entire time, smashes another beaker on the ground right in front of him.* Twenty. Points. From Slytheren.

Snape:..... Alright then twenty points from Slytheren.

Wednesday: *Returns to seat, still glaring at Snape*

Snape: Now before we get on with classes I have the results of last weeks pop quiz, fairly expected stuff, Mr. Weasley you did adequate, but your penmanship was atrocious which is...

Wednesday *Grabs another beaker and holds it up with a look on her face that says ‘I can keep this up as long as you can old man’*

Snape:....Something you should work on in the future.

*Later*

Draco: Can’t you just expel her professor?

Snape: Well I could in theory, but considering her muggle father keeps somehow sneaking in here I think whether she has permission to be here or not is rather Academic. Besides, I’m not crossing her after what she did to Umbridge.

Draco: *Shudders* Don’t remind me.

This is one of those posts I'm going to watch for hopefully in future to see what awesome new additions it gets. Go on Tumblr, be brilliant!

please keep me informed as well

I just imagined the third book when they learn Sirius Black is trying to kill Harry, and is his godfather.

Gomez: well that makes him family, we must invite him over.

Harry: but father, everyone says he's trying to kill me.

Gomez: oh, of course, how thoughtless of me. Lurch, put away the swords for guests and sharpen up the good swords we use for special occasions! A relative visiting is one thing, but a murderous relative needs to be celebrated.

Harry: thank you, father.

XD and as soon as they find sirius is innocent hed be welcomed into the family with open arms.

Can you imagine the Addams during the fight at the ministry of magic or at hogwarts?

Gomez with a sword

Mortitia with man eating plants

Pugsley with explosives

Wednesday just keeps pulling bigger and bigger weapons out of those tiny pockets on her dress. She has a wand but never uses it!

A death eater turns a corner and she's inexplicably there with a cannon!

Okay but the Addams Family going off on Dumbledore for all the BS he put Harry through without warning him like he could have. (Because fuck that shit. Destiny/fate my ass.)

Just...just all of this... Mortisha: So how was your first year of schooling children? Wensday: *pouting* Harry got to see a 3 headed dog and play with it. Harry: Only a little! Gomez: Oh how fun! Maybe we should look into getting one or 2!

All the yes

How am I only just finding this, this is brilliant

When they find out Lupin was fired for being a werewolf they offer him a place to stay. Granmama brews his wolfbane potion every month, better than Snape!

And they start calling him "cousin Remus" before the end of the second week.

@kunfyouzed​ baaabeee babe babe babe LOOK AT THIS I LOVE IT

Turns out I feel this in my very bones.

THIS IS HILARIOUSSSSSSS @willowbleedsonpaper like imagine this hahahahah 😂😂😂😂😂

“what the fuck” is an emotion now and its the only one i have

my utopia

The drag queen from this photo has spoken up about the photo.

The central irony is that this isn’t some hypothetical future–it’s just present day reality. This is a picture of two ordinary people going about their normal lives despite how haters want to politicize it lmao. So the underlying message is not “future liberals want” it’s “people conservatives want to eradicate”

the underlying message is not “future liberals want” it’s “people conservatives want to eradicate”

Literally is there anything wrong here

Robert Pattinson’s commentary on Twilight (2008) with Catherine Hardwicke and Kristen Stewart

Imagine a Midnight Sun movie where it’s just the first Twilight film, but any scene w Edward and another character besides Bella, there’s a string of added commentary dubbed over because he can hear their thoughts.

Like when Bella comes to family dinner, you just hear Emmett’s voice all “damn you’re crazy Eddie” and Rosalie screaming cuss words. Then Alice is like “omg Bella my best friend” and Jasper’s like “omg look it’s Alice hi Alice wow how about some human blood.” And Carlisle and Esme are just “wow wow Edward so proud of u not being alone forever.”

for anyone who isn't bisexual I want you to stop for a second and think: why do you automatically think and persist in the thought that every m/f relationship both people involved are straight?

I have seen enough both in media and in real life, that most people, LGBT or not, rarely see a m/f couple and think that maybe at least one of them is bisexual, that maybe both are bisexuals, that maybe bisexual people actually exist outside our "gay side", that maybe we can have happy and meaningful m/f relationships that do deserve celebration, validation and representation.

and here is another question: why do most of you only bring up a character being bisexual when they're in a gay relationship? or why do you only headcanon a bisexual character only when they're in a gay relationship?

I think it's time to be more aware of how you see bisexuals in m/f relationships. I think it's time you revaluate how you see us and our relationships and why you only remember us when you want something "different" to characters but still want it to be gay.

The Earth Signs: Taurus ∴ Virgo ∴ Capricorn