After the credits of Glass Onion, you KNOW Blanc hopped on the phone like

"Marta, I just - yes, yes, I know, it's late for you - but listen I just - well, if you were going to bed, why did you pick up? - anyway, I just met this AMAZING woman, you HAVE to meet her, Marta she blew up a HOUSE - yes, on purpose - YES, WITH PEOPLE INSIDE, also the Mona Lisa - no, I'm in Greece - Marta, please stop yelling, I'm very tired -"

Okay, so I know the reason the physics in Breath of the Wild and Tears of the Kingdom have so many weird exceptions and edge cases is because the games' designers are concerned foremost with puzzle-crafting, and only secondarily with producing a coherent world model, and nearly every bit of weirdness can be explained by the fact that some puzzle mechanic required the games' physics to work that way. There's simply no deeper unifying logic to be found, and trying to find it is a good way to give yourself a headache.

One of those pieces of weirdness lies in the relative weights of various objects, particularly in relation to Link, the player character. Some objects are incongruously heavy or light for their size because the puzzles in which they appear require them to be, and Link himself is weirdly lightweight, presumably because that was the easiest way to cause him to experience the exaggerated knockback that many puzzles require without making the forces involved ridiculously strong.

Most objects and characters which recur among the two games are at least consistent in this respect. However, it has been empirically determined that in Breath of the Wild, Link weighs the same as 8.5 apples, whereas in Tears of the Kingdom he weighs the same as 10 apples, and now I can't stop myself from wondering what fucking puzzle mechanic required Link to be exactly 1.5 apples heavier.

I'm more interested in the team meetings that likely resulted from this, considering Nintendo's fastidious approach to polish. I can imagine one camp bringing in chart after chart defending those extra 1.5 apples, and another more or less going "No, this is New Zelda canon, it cannot and should not be changed. Link is 8.5 apples heavy and any change to this base equation will run the risk of endangering the entire product line."

While working on Across the Spiderverse, I painted this concept art of what Manhattan might look like in Gwen's watercolor style!

@ fic readers who write play by play comments that highlight your favorite passages and why you like them, please know you are the best humans to exist and please don’t stop what you’re doing

Breaking tumblr protocol to ask — does this apply even if it’s a really popular fic that already has hundreds of comments?

absolutely yes

A story is true. A story is untrue. As time extends, it matters less and less. The stories we want to believe… those are the ones that survive, despite upheaval and transition and progress. Those are the stories that shape history. And then what does it matter if it was true when it was born? It’s found truth in its maturity, which if a virtue in man ought to be no less so for the things men create. - Black Sails, XXXVIII

The curse of modern fandom is that it has allowed fans to get even closer to artists, but they won't view the artists as people.

Human limits, human mistakes, human feelings, human needs, are never ascribed to artists, and when other fans rightfully point out, "hey, humans are making this, maybe don't harass them or demand they cater to your personal tastes," it gets shut down under, "uh, people who make popular mainstream things are automatically Public Figures who are also probably rich, so eat the rich and destroy artists over every perceived minor fault. <3"

Even though there's, y'know, a really big strike currently going on because those artists are very much not rich or influential or in control of the bullshit.

The more friends I make in the various facets of the entertainment industry, and the more widely my own art gets shared, the more I realize that a lot of y'all genuinely don't see artists as human beings if they meet some arbitrary standard of Being Known Online.

There is no amount of online fame that makes someone subhuman and a valid target for blatant disrespect and harassment.

Contrary to popular belief, you do not actually own and control a piece of art just because you like it a lot. The artists are not subject to your personal whims and tastes. They owe you nothing.

#I’d say writers too but no one gives af about writers unless ur the niche fandom fav lmao

Oh, I'm using "artist" in the general sense! Writers are absolutely included in this! Creative pursuits of all kinds are treated like this and it sucks so much for everyone.

skyrim is incredible because its the kind of game where you can kill like five extremely high-ranking members of the empire and it changes literally nothing about the civil war going on half an hour away

YOU. YOU GET IT

i've been thinking about hobie spiderverse since i came out of the movie theater, about how on a superficial level he acts like every other stereotypically alt character, stealing and instigating and bantering and being chaotic and rebellious and looking Cool™ but on a second look it's so so clear that every single thing he does is motivated by kindness and compassion towards his friends in general and miles in particular, and that's so viscerally truly punk of him

the already famous palm suggestion that makes miles break out of miguel's containment thing. miles initially reads this as condescending but hobie's genuinely trying to help

already he's looking out for miles by trying to keep him away from hq, a place where he knows miles isn't welcome and might be in danger

now, they get to hq and he immediately starts lifting stuff to homebrew a watch for miles, a guy he's known for five minutes (bc you can't convince me he didn't already have a bunch prepped for gwen and the other spider-people he trusts). he even lampshades it with the line above.

he's questioned miles' motives to join the spider society and he knows they're the same as his own: it's literally just to get a watch, to have a means to travel dimentions, to see his friends, to build community. he's already made the decision to grant that ability to miles without subjugating him to the oppressive restrictions and requirements of the spider society. at this point we know he's strongly ideologically opposed to the society and he later in this scene admits he's only there to look out for gwen, just like miles

this one makes me insane. it's a "are you safe at home in your dimension? do you have one? do you need a place to stay?" bc we know he's given one to gwen, who's not safe and does not have nice parents and has been crashing in hobie's dimension for the previous months

and then he tries again to warn miles off the spider society

and when push comes to shove and all the other spider-people are set on stopping miles from going home and changing his timeline he's the only one in miles' corner

btw notice how the palms thing is the first and last thing he says to miles in this film?

anyway. he was in this movie for like 15 minutes tops, showed up exclusively to hype up his friends and protect them by whatever means necessary, adoption papers and illegal interdimensional tech included, and he looked that cool the whole time while doing it. most character ever.

Small animal: Critter

Large animal: Beast

Strange animal: Creature

Fragile, sickly, cute animal: Bug

Large geometric mechanical structure: Angel

Ok listen we NEED to talk about your girlfriend. I know you’re doomed by the narrative and all, but she keeps defying the will of fate with her vain and ever more desperate attempts to save you. It’s SERIOUSLY going to rend the fabric of space-time if she keeps this up. I’m not even joking. We’re all going to end up in a closed loop of decaying reality if—it’s not cute, stop laughing!!

hobie study doodle <3

Happy Father's Day!

more little ms paint raptors (As usual, up in my kofi shop as adoptables!)

you turned the computer on 😳

i do enjoy in survival-esque escape-type movies when someone gets hurt and someone else is like “i can help, don’t worry i’m a doctor.” like. they’re probably not lying, but they totally could be

just once i want the villain in the movie to be revealed as the person in the group who said they were a doctor and everyone had just taken them at their word because why the fuck would you lie about that

i can’t believe all the bad luck and injuries that have befallen our little group. good thing we have Dr. Hedical Halpractice with us

now THIS is a concept!

Also, cannot stress enough that Dr. Hedical Halpractice does NOT have some sort of doctorate in an unaffiliated field like a fun switcheroo, he just LOVES lying and is a HUGE asshole

okay!

Yennefer at Thanedd.

TUMBLR KILLED ME AVENGE ME

my friends are so fucking funny

scene favs... so obsessed w the way the ink goes up his hand/arms

scene favs… so obsessed

w the way the ink

goes up his hand/arms

Beep boop! I look for accidental haiku posts. Sometimes I mess up.