the most disorienting thing thats ever happened to me was when a linguistics major stopped in the middle of our conversation, looked me in the eye, and said, "you have a very interesting vernacular. were you on tumblr in 2014?" and i had to just stand there and process that one for a good ten seconds

i think anyone who says tht a bi man & a bi woman in a relationship r basically the same as a straight couple have never put any thought into how bisexuality challenges preconcieved dynamics and the gender roles usually assumed in m/f relationships.

when you have a sudden realization about something that was supposed to have been obvious from the start

oh to cook with my wife and stand directly in front of cabinets and drawers she needs to open

some of yall say you like animals but you really just like mammals and it shows

things i made very stoned and don’t remember doing

i think my saddest moment as an Australian was finding out that the rest of the world doesn’t say “never eat soggy weetbix” to figure out the order of the compass

Put in the tags where you’re from and how you memorized the order of the compass

i hope i get reborn as a duck who lives at disneyworld and gets to eat potato chips that tourists paid $11.99 for

Anyone else get that Sims 4 loading screen that just says “ok”

Mentally I am here

mika_grace_kelly.mp3

some of those ‘body positive’ people really are like ‘oh wow it’s so brave of you to exist with that ugly ass nose on you face! 🤗 like it takes so much confidence to exist for people who unfortunately look like you 😢❣️ but you’re an actual QUEEN 👑 and you should never be ashamed of how ugly you actually are ✊ honestly power to you for not letting society pressure you into removing all of these ugly features that you do have 😭❤️’

(at this point i think we should pitch fake esc to a network because it’s gotten good enough for a sitcom)

why is this so cringy

You just don’t understand.

i understand everything but would you like to explain me?

why did i have to fall in love with alekseev and forever cause he was gonna struggle to qualify anyway without the running order im not ready to have to deal with this

me when people bring up the fact that alekseev could struggle to qualify when ive already refused to believe that and given him everything i own

me:

Europe: ALEKSEEV might not get into the Final

me:

Me, watching an interview of an esc contestant: wtf they act nothing like their fake blog

Life of a eurofan