sorry for the delay in responding to your message. I was walking around the house with unclear intentions

the scariest thing in the world is probably whatever's going on in the tiny gap between my kitchen counters and the oven

please stop asking me how i'm doing, idk i'm ignoring it

Really excited to see the years pass since this joke was first posted, and seeing the new generation thinks this is some non-sequitor when it in fact references a specific old flash game that has long past its day in the light, in which the goal was to fucking demolish this guy.

mike's hard past couple of months

this wouldn't have happened on the jeremy renner app

Keep Dancing Baby…

PENIS GNOMES ARRIVE

NEEDLESS TO SAY THIS IS A PROBLEM

what if images and videos had smells but our noses just couldnt smell them

what if you shut the fuck up

ㅤ

got diagnosed with cool guy disorder over at the epic doctor

god what the fufk am i even talking about anymore

did you know that the letters in LA stand for:

Is this for real?

I promise

I cant believe the heterosexuals are gone

Theyre gone

We’re still here.

who said that

Same energy

im like 2% cute and 98% single

Can you be 100% mine?

no

I love locking my door like…you’re not coming in lmfao

This post is honestly so iconic like every time I lock my door I literally think about this