???????????????????

He looks like he died 2 years ago???

Delete this immediately right now at this moment

Fun game:

Replace “Father” in Christian texts with “Daddy”

“Our Daddy who art in heaven, hallowed be thy name”

“forgive me, daddy, for i have sinned”

“But when you pray, go into your room, close the door and pray to your Daddy, who is unseen. Then your Daddy, who sees what is done in secret, will reward you. - Matthew 6:6“

Shameless 6x12

I want this tattooed on me

A little louder for those in the back.

This THIS THIS THIS.

This is why people keep quiet about their mental illnesses…and why we need to speak up.

THIS.

I have never thought about it in this context

that’s actually really, really creepy.

I… fuck.

Yeah, basically.

I once pointed this out to my mother and she just stared at me, in stunned silence for ages. 

There will always be a girl who is less sober, less secure, with less friends walking in a darker part of town. I want her safe just as much as I want me safe.

THE BOLDED

If you name your child after any licensed Coca-Cola product they pay for their college tuition, similarly if you name your child after any Olive Garden menu item, they eat free for life. Don’t ask me how I know, this is the information they try to keep from you.

doctor pepper ravioli potter you are named after two of the bravest men i know

doctor pepper isn’t a coke product god dammit the instructions are right there how you fuck this up

honestly being tagged in things makes me so happy because it’s like?? ? you think of me?? ? you remember me?? ? i don’t even remember me sometimes

best spoon

Conures are the weirdest creatures.

such a pretty bird

2 foot difference between a volleyball player and a gymnast

My favourite thing about the Olympics is the huge range in human diversity. Every single person is as perfectly optimized for their sport and they are all the BEST at what they do. And it always gives us awesome pictures like this =)

Me

Him: I’m gonna cum!

Me: 

DELETE THIS NOW

IF A CREEP WANTS YOUR NUMBER

A series of fake numbers to leave behind.

1-888-447-5594 - Easter egg number for finishing God of War, contains a dramatic speech. Personal favorite.

605-475-6968 - Rejection hotline, politely explains that whoever gave you this number turned ya down, buddy

888-276-6760 - The 24-hour Klu Klux Klanline where you can get a FREE INFORMATION BOOKLET!!!!1!

866-740-4531 - Only responds with “I am Groot”

206-569-5829 - Seattle radio station “Loser Line”. If they leave a weird voicemail, it could get broadcast over the airwaves.

Stay safe, people.

Don’t forget about 515-808-2362, the number that rings and then plays the John Cena thing.

309-889-0497 plays the evangelation theme

Evangelation

There’s also 855-523-9386 which will respond to the caller with a robot beat boxing Korn’s “Freak on a Leash”.

Who knew so many weird almost useless phone numbers existed?

This is wonderful

today at the park some guy broke his ankle and one of the people said “give him some lettuce” and everyone just stared at him for like 7 seconds until he said “I meant ice”

IT’S HALLOWEEN TIME TO GET SPOOKY

I T S T H E M I D D L E O F J U N E

I T I S H A L L O W E E N T I M E T O G E T S P O O K Y

ok who the fuck got this on my dash it’s still june

get spooky

isn’t this from the shake it off music video

iPhone needs a feature where an incoming call doesn’t take up the whole screen so you can do other things while you ignoring a phone call.