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Catching Fancy

@fairytaleslayer / fairytaleslayer.tumblr.com

Women's Soccer, Critical Role, She-Ra, and really anything with lesbians are my main interests, given that I'm pretty damn gay. Also anything that will make people laugh, since we need more of that. She/Her. My AO3 Account: fairytaleslayer

Okay, vaguely related, but a friend of mine was once taking some snowy owls to canada to be released--they’d been injured while in the states, taken to the avian rehab facility where he worked, and were healthy again. But at that time of year, most  snowy owls had migrated back north to canada. So he drove to the border with three crates of screamingly angry snowy owls in back. He got to the border, declared his cargo, and immediately found himself in Big Trouble With Canadian Border Security. 

(There was nothing wrong with what he’d been doing, it had all been cleared in advance and he had all his paperwork in order. But nobody told the border guys that.)

They demanded that he take the owls out of the crates for inspection. He refused; these were very, very angry, agitated wild birds. They asked him lots of questions. They finally asked why he was taking the owls to canada, and he explained that that’s where they’re from.

The customs agent demanded “WELL, how did Canada’s owls even get to America in the first place?!”

My friend responded, “Sir. They can fly.”

The customs agent let him go.

i was relistening to NtN audiobook on the plane and only then, half asleep, realized something

Nona describes the people she loves using phrases such as "the colour of wet red earth", "rusted metal", "bare ground in the cold mornings", "cloudy ice". she might not remember who she used to be, but her subconscious certainly does :')

also something more obvious but that i still missed on my first read

Harrow the Ninth:

Nona the Ninth:

Gideon the Ninth:

Nona the Ninth:

Okay guys hear me out.

A soulmate AU where you have a black stain where your soulmate is supposed to touch you for the first time and it turns to millions of colors once they do.

Like, so many people with their right palms all black, waiting for that one handshake.

People who have black knuckles who are scared for years that they end up punching their soulmate or something and end up coming home with their knuckles turned all shades of red and blue and purple without them noticing because sometimes your hands just brush together.

Someone having a very visible black palm on their cheek that they try to cover up because people will just know they will be slapped one day.

Just

consider the possibilities.

a handprint on your upper arm that bursts into colors during a fight you’re having with a close friend because you tried to walk away and they grabbed you–you never noticed that you never touched them until right now twin handprints on your chest because your soulmate happens to be the paramedic who steps in to give you chest compressions that one time you almost died a handprint on your palm but it’s not upside down like a handshake would be, you’re puzzled until you give someone a high five and the colors appear someone you just met brushes a leaf off your shirt–RIGHT WHERE YOUR HANDPRINT IS YOU ALWAYS WONDERED WHY IT WAS ON YOUR PEC

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I actually love this one a lot

Someone who is born with no mark at all–what a tragedy! But one day, a dear friend offers to braid their hair. They’re not even half done before they gasp and let it drop–their black palms and fingers are afire with color–

–and so is the half-done plait, bright against solid black hair.

Someone who is born with a small mark on their wrist. They don’t know what it means, they guess that perhaps their soulmate will tap them on the wrist to get their attention. Some strangers have tried. It’s pretty bothersome to be on the bus, wanting to be left alone, and have someone try their luck.

Then one day, they’re scheduled for an invasive surgery. They’re lying on the operating table, unconscious. The team of surgeons look at the mark knowingly. Then, as a matter of procedure, they each tap the wrist. It is better to have a discoloured wrist and avoid discoloured organs.

Can you imagine the Missed Connections websites?

“I handed you your receipt and someone called my name and by the time I saw my hand you were gone”

“You helped me pick up my things at the subway station, then had to run”

“YOU KNOW WHO YOU ARE.  YOU SLAPPED MY ASS AT THE METAL CONCERT WHEN THE SHOW STARTED.  MEET ME OUTSIDE THE DENNY’S.  I’M GONNA SLAP YOU BACK WITH A DEAD FISH. <3”

Did you guys know that the most recent version of sharks have fins that are kinda leg like and they like to walk up onto land?

no way i must have missed an update!

The Epaulette shark is only about 9 million years old as a species, making it the most recent branch in the shark family. And it is slowly but surely evolving into a land animal

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LAND SHARK!

LAND SHARK!

WHATCHA GONNA DO WHEN HE COMES FOR YOU?!?!

I will give him a kiss on the top of his little head

The YouTube content creator community was wracked by macabre tragedy this morning after Amelia Bedelia was instructed to hang streamers for a six year old’s birthday party

I have been busy busy busy and have not slept in 49 hours and now all I can think about is the Squad™ dealing with sleep deprivation.

Mary:

  • Flings herself across the nearest horizontal surface the moment she is able. Could be a table. Could be the roof of a car. could be the ground. She's down and out.
  1. She's an angry grump when tired
  • I truly cannot overemphasize the "flings herself". She has slept through contact injuries received only moments before.

Lilith:

  • Passed out in a hall once after staying awake for 4 days (to prove she could), woke up in medical with Beatrice hovering. Was asleep for 15 hours, Beatrice had just got back from a mission when she found Lilith unconscious in a dark hall. Lilith will be taking the reason to her grave.
  • No longer stays awake long enough to become sleep deprived. Beatrice gets concerned and starts hovering when she tries.

Beatrice:

  1. Can fall asleep standing up. Like a horse. Lilith makes the comment. Beatrice, in an uncharacteristic fit of personality (for the time), asks if she and her inner horse girl are jealous. Mary and Shannon don't stop giggling over it for days.
  2. You can tell Beatrice is sleep deprived when her hands are actually still at her sides but she's not angry. It's her only tell and she still doesn't know why Lilith always leads her by the hands when she's tired.

Camila:

  • Tea steeped in energy drinks. Everyone is equally disgusted and horrified. Also kind of scared of her because where the fuck is she getting them. What. How
  • Shakes like a Chihuahua. Can't go to sleep if your bones are rattling, yknow?
  • Body stops regulating temperature. If it's the summer, they have to lure her up to windows and she's out the second she brushes against the warm panes.
  • In winter, Lilith becomes used for body heat because she is the least likely for Camila to freak out on when she wakes up
  • Can be bribed into sleep with heated blankets and or weighted blankets
  • Absolutely no chill behind a thin veneer of childish mischief and joy

Ava:

  1. Starts floating like a little balloon sometimes
  2. You think she's bad about touching Bea now? She becomes a golden retriever with separation anxiety when she's tired
  3. If Bea isn't there for her to attach herself to, her next target is usually Lilith, and if no Lilith, then Camila. If no Camila either, she will lament her woes to Mary/Superion until one of them gives her something to do

Yasmine:

  • Is the only one who knows the importance of good sleep. What is wrong with the rest of you.

Mother Superion:

Too old for this shit

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people get so confused trying to figure out the Lois/Clark/Superman situation that somehow they come to the conclusion that Clark is cheating on Lois with Superman

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I mean Lois clearly has nothing to hide, everyone from here to Krypton’s seen Superman fly her with a chaste hand around her waist. but Clark puts an awful lot of effort into making sure no one ever gets a pic of him and Superman together

what is he worried Lois will see

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people shake their heads sadly every time Superman visits the Daily Planet and then Clark emerges from a closet disheveled and tucking his shirt back into his pants. but if Lois won’t see it there’s nothing they can do

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When Lois finds out she thinks it’s hilarious, and when someone finally tries to ‘break it to her’, she’s all ready. 

“Oh, I know.”

“You… know?”

“Neither of them would ever lie to me.” 

“So… *gears frantically spinning* this is like some kind of threesome thing?” 

“Oh! No, no, no, absolutely not. *Lois pauses and grins the most lascivious grin she can produce* I just… watch.” 

Clark gets a lot of very weird looks that day that he can’t understand at all. 

@elidyce​ no, no, no. don’t hide a shit-stirring bruce and chaotic lois in the tags. this is an important addition, too. just gives that final touch that’s dearly needed to really complete this, y’know?