Things

ID: a lamp shaped like upside down lily pads with bulbs in individually hanging blossoms

Batman vs BLÅHAJ

very excited about this new medical option where we swallow a vibrator

i regret to inform you all that i did the research so you dont have to, and its exactly what you think. it's a machine. its got an app. you can monitor the pill, in your body, through the app.

you raise such a good question

what is endgame for the vore vibrators

y'all, literly nothing on this website will tell me what is in the capsule or what happens to the capsule when it comes out the other end, but I have learned that it takes 3 weeks of treatment to see significant results and also that you have to place the capsule in an "activation pod" before you swallow it

and yes there is an app

I found a pdf they provide for physicians and I am currently making my way through it

current fun facts:

-the Pod has a usb charger and a wall adapter

-do not MRI this capsule, dear god

-do not bite the capsule

-if a child swallows a capsule they need to go to the hospital

more fun facts from the dosing instructions

there are no directions for what to do at the end of the line so I am assuming the mystery capsule (that should not be allowed around pacemakers) gets flushed

it does say to see a doctor if you think it has not been excreted "within 2 weeks"

ps I assume this is standardized language, but I LOVE the idea that the vore vibrator might accidentally interfere with TV and radio

@kawaiianimeredhead i vote yes

...NOPE. :/

i just think it's neat that odysseus gets put in a position where he has to kill his child to avoid going to war and he can't do it and then agamemnon gets put in a position where he has to kill his child to go to war and he does it

my toxic trait is assuming everyone knows the w in transliterations is egyptologically pronounced -u/-oo, and therefore consistently forgetting to romanise the spelling of ancient egyptian words containing it when i make shitposts or stupid references in my stories

Detritus really was like, we’re completely out of our jurisdiction and facing down an army but call Cheery a slur again and we can do Koom Valley 2.0 right here right now I don’t give a fuck. King shit.

[image ID: a screenshot from The Fifth Elephant

Cheery dropped down from the coach. Her leather skirt flapped in the wind.

As one dwarf, the column swiveled to stare at her. Their leader went pop-eyed. “B’dan? K’raa! D’kraga ‘ha’ak’!”

Vimes saw the expression that appeared on Cheery’s small round face.

Above him there was a clunk as Detritus rested the loaded Piecemaker on the edge of the coach.

“I know dat word he said to her,” he announced to the world. “It is not a good word. I do not want to hear dat word again.”

/End ID]

I love Detritus so much.

Fun fact about me

I had HORRIBLE handwriting my entire childhood. Consistently got failing grades on homework and tests because no one could read my writing.

And then I hit middle school. I saw the "popular girls" getting praised for their stupid cutesy heart over the I writing. I saw people I could run mental circles around without breaking a sweat getting good grades, because the teacher could read their writing easier.

So I started copying it.

And wouldn't you know, my grades improved!

But of course, if you know me, you already know....there's no WAY I was gonna stop there. Oh no.

As a ADHD/Autistic, I did what any self respecting nerd introvert would do- I hit the library. And I researched. The evolution of the written language, the evolution of alphabets and writing styles from Ancient Greece all the way through the Spencerian movement.

And I fell into calligraphy. I hyperfocused.

And over the course of a year, developed my own cursive hand (going from never writing in cursive) that was a loose blend of Palmer, Spencerian, Chaucurian and 16th century Italian italics, with a lot of acender and defender flourishes.

I handed in homework in 15th century German High Gothic blackletter.

I did reports in 17th century italics.

And my teachers went from hating me for my horrible, illegible handwriting, to loving the sudden shift to legible bubble letters, to hating me again because they couldn't read my writing again, but for a different reason.

Only now, they didn't really have a good reason to be mad, because if they admitted to not being able to read Chaucerian font, they'd be admitting that they couldn't comprehend someone performing at a level of education and familiarity with the written language far above their own skill set (yes I had one teacher actually admit that to me in 8th grade. I genuinely respected her for it and picked a font that was easier to read than blackletter for her class).

And so began my descent into the rabbit hole of medieval illumination and calligraphy.

And so now, 25 years later, I do stuff like this:

(The bottom image has my celtic art business logo for Art of the Ancients; im on Instagram, but haven't updated in a long while because I've been busy with other projects and there wasn't a heck of a lot of interest. I still do commissions though)

Bob Ross once said, "A talent is just a skill you're willing to practice." I heard that, ran with it, and never looked back.

(Someone suggested I should tag my Instagram for my artwork: @art_of_the_ancients https://www.instagram.com/art_of_the_ancients/ )

Fuck this one hits home.

[ID : a thread of tweets by Josh Weed @/The_Weed on 8 June 2022 which read :

Image 1 : A message I want to share with adults who work with #ADHD kids is: pushing them the way that you push neurotypical kids harms them for life.

Here's what I mean.

When I start working clinically with an adult who has ADHD, one of the first things we do /1

Image 2 : is we start to map out their trauma history. And I don't mean non-adjacent childhood traumas (which are also relevant, but we get to those later) I mean their #ADHD-specific, childhood-based traumas that result from having ADHD while growing up in an ableist society. /2

As you can imagine, this is really sad stuff. Bright kids who were called lazy because they literally *could not* complete tasks the way teachers/parents wanted; hyperactive kids longingly watching their peers run and jump at recess while they sat staring at a math worksheet: /3

Image 3 : Worse stuff too-kids *abused* for not finishing chores or not getting A's or forgetting- all while their brain will *literally* not let them which creates this horrific feedback loop: fear causes more forgetting, which brings harsher punishment, causing more fear, and on and on /4

But the most pernicious phrase that tends to wreck kids, and then seems to ruin things past childhood, past college (if that happens) and into their 30's, 40's, 50's and beyond, is: "you have SO much potential!" This phrase can be deadly for #ADHD kids and we need to stop. /5

Here's why.

Image 4 : Here's why.

When the phrase "you have so much potential" is shared with a neurotypical kid, it is a message of hope. It's an adult seeing a child who has the capacity to do great things if they follow certain steps and make certain choices. It's nurturing. It's lovely! /6

But when the phrase "you have so much potential!" is used with a kid with #ADHD, whether intended or not, it is most often an ablist, micro-aggressive dig at their disability that tells the child that they should be striving for things that are actually impossible. /7

Image 5 : And then when the kid with #ADHD tries with ALL THEIR MIGHT to bridge the gap (examples below) to please the adult-to "meet their potential" in other words-they fail. Predictably. Naturally. And tragically. And the adult is disappointed in them. /8

And the problem is, it doesn't stop there. Because at that point, often the adult is invested, and the adult's ego is also on the line. So they say "okay, try again! Don't give up! You can do it!" And the kid tries harder. And fails again. And again. And again. /9

Image 6 : And THEN the adult starts providing lots of ideas that help neurotypical folks saying "you can meet your potential if you just use these tools!" (Alarms, planners, apps, schedules, reminders, whatever.) And the kid has hope, and tries AGAIN. And fails AGAIN. And at this point /10

The adult is exasperated and doesn't understand why their "help" as a teacher or parent or counselor isn't working. And the kid doesn't understand either. And that's when other horrible messages really take hold. Like "lazy" and "messy" and "unmotivated" and "disobedient." /11

Image 7 : And the adult actually believes those labels because the adult really *could* see "potential" (like high IQ, or amazing musical aptitude, or incredible athletic ability) and now really believes the kid must just not *want* to get to rehearsal in time (or whatever) /12

And the kid... that poor #ADHD kid is SO confused. Because they DO love the sport or skill or interest and they really DO love the adult and want to please them. And they didn't. Over and over.

So they really MUST just be lazy. Or unmotivated. Or careless. Or inconsiderate. /13

Image 8 :

And now take that, and multiply it by every school year, by every class, by every teacher that sees something in them, by every unmet goal or hope or dream, year after year, situation after situation, disappointment after disappointment.

What you get is an adult in despair. /14

What you get is an adult who actually believes they're lazy and good for nothing.

What you get is an adult who's deeply depressed and unable to like any part of themselves, who has no idea the real truth that's been their all along:

They have an ADA-recognized disability. /15

/End ID]

hello have knives and tears for breakfast

my parents were always proud of me and never made me feel like a failure BUT I felt like one anyway? thanks, society

I'm also crying for my mom, who was born before ADHD was recognized and way way WAY before people admitted that maybe girls could have it.

i hate usamericans and their one billion different regional fast food chains that they insist are all vastly different. im sorry i just dont believe you that Chunks and Yakko's and Slutty Dan's all provide different experiences and im not in one million years going to rural northeast ohio to check if the Quirko's Cumdump Meal really has better fries than the Burger Cossack Grease Box. all fucking ham burger the same

notes of this post have taught me:

the thing about the US regional chains -- OK, they are all subtly distinct in ways that you lose out on when everything is replaced with McDonalds, but that's not it except in the sense of, like, the sense of lost youth in being unable to recreate the sense of being home

the point of these chains is that they're the standardbearers of a kind of balkanized mesh of regional cultures, a sense of local specificity that's been eroded by the gradual expansion of federalism and centrally-produced media as the structuring framework of civic life

All this stuff about, how, like, real North Florkansas kids remember pulling into Splorp Shack at 2 AM for a Splorp Burger is a way of expressing a sense of both loyalty to and alienation from local/regional cultures in a country where regional pride is increasingly thin and weaponized and much of the population migrates to a handful of urban hubs for work and school. It's a standard story about the relationship between modernization and alienation, and it's playing out in the medium of postwar burger chains because this is the United States and what could possibly be more American than that

okay but Whataburger really is better than anything else?

This little book is actually a ceramic flask; you can see on the strap that’s “holding it shut” that there’s a lid for the spigot, attached to a chain. They’re not sure if it was a flask for drinking from or a ceramic handwarmer that you would fill with hot liquid, but either way, how delightful.

[ID: A ceramic sculpture in the shape of an extremely thick book; it has gold edging on the cover, and on the “front” of the book there’s a blue rectangular pattern. It is held shut by a strap that has a large knob on it, attached by a chain, which would screw off to reveal an empty center.]

How mushrooms clean up toxic messes

This sounds cool, but I need everyone to understand that Paul Stamets, who supposedly researched this info, has a long and storied history of bad scientific practice and making specious claims about fungal biology. Lots of organisms have adaptations to different conditions, but the majority of fungi are just as fucked up by toxic waste as the rest of us. Paul Stamets is most interested in profit–patenting and SELLING fungal info and developements–not in education or planet-saving.

The way I fucking howled.

“if no art makes you feel anything, make your own art and feel something” is too raw of a line to have come from a jenna marbles video of her painting a rainbow/polka dot seahorse saying “it’s seahorse time” on a denim jacket

Why do you people feel profound thought has to come from high places? The gutter looks at the stars too

ah, the extended edition

Never pass the chance to reblog this.

simply dont monday

simply don’t tuesday

simply don’t wednesday

simply don’t thursday

self-recognition through the other (concerned)

damn. that guy needs help. yes i'm sure. no i'm not telling you why.

I think the message of Howl’s Moving Castle is that in order to maintain a successful relationship with some kind of fucked up wizard, you must find it in yourself to also be some kind of fucked up wizard.

See, I don’t think that’s the case. Certainly, Sophie’s magic is often more practical than Howl’s, but if you think that the practicality of one’s magic is a reasonable measure of how good a fucked up wizard is at being a fucked up wizard, you don’t understand fucked up wizards.

By some metrics, Sophie is a more fucked up wizard - Howl would never mess something up by accident! But here’s the thing, they complement each-other. Sophie is practically-oriented, but she’s not always competent to do what she intends, nor does she know what she’s doing. Howl always knows what he’s doing and why, and it’s usually useless bullshit for terrible reasons. Howl knows what he is intimately. He knows his strengths and his weaknesses and he knows that he’s got a spine like wet, single ply tissue paper. Sophie complements this by doing whatever it is she sets her mind to, but having exactly zero capacity for self-reflection (or if she does it’s through a funhouse mirror)

Your honor, they’re both a better fucked up wizard than the other, just how they’re supposed to be. 

no more characters who are nonbinary just because their species doesnt have gender. more characters that species dont have gender but still read up on human gender theory and realized they were still not into this shit

alien character who decided to give this gender thing a try and ends up detransitioning back to nonbinary

once i came out as nonbinary to this old lady i was doing volunteer work with and i explained what it was and she was like "oh! you're like the reverse of this one lady from star trek! her whole species was nonbinary but deep down inside she felt like she was a woman and she decided she wanted to be a woman. and they weren't happy with that but she was a woman inside and nothing would change her mind."

You can't leave these crucial details in the tags

Wait so the trans name is like a thing that some kids think is real. Like a few (cis, at least at that point) kids have separately asked me what their trans name would be like you get a YA dystopian book personality test when you start to transition and get a new name. I was like no, you choose it, that's the point it's a choice and most of the kids were like oh that's cool. But one girl was like "but what if it's something like Dino King." And I was like, Dino King would be the dopest fucking chosen name, DO IT.

[ ID: Screenshot of tumblr tags which read:

#and then she proceeded to infodump about star trek for the next 15 minutes #probably the funniest reaction i've ever gotten to coming out #runner up is that time in high school i came out to a friend who was a couple years younger than me and v sheltered #and i told him he could ask any questions about being trans that he wanted to #and he asked "what would my trans name be?" and to this day i have no clue what the FUCK that was supposed to mean #he ended up being one of the best allies i ever met who helped me manage my dysphoria without outing me #and in some ways supported me better than even fellow trans people #but it was just SUCH a funny reaction #oh also that old lady had shaved her head and wore all masculine clothes and went by an androgynous name different than her birth name #and i almost expected her to compare my experiences to her but nope. star trek. iconic

/ End ID. ]

Remember in 1993 when Jurassic Park was like…the end all, be all of special effects?

not gonna lie that still looks intimately real

I’m still somewhat convinced that someone sold their soul to create the special effects in Jurassic Park because that shit is over 20 years old and it still really, really holds up, better than the stuff in a lot of current movies, even.

Fucking witchcraft, man. 

fucking look at this shit though

Literally see this post flying around with a few different responses added to the bottom each time so I’ll say it for this one myself:

THEY ACTUALLY BUILT A GIANT MASSIVELY DETAILED FUCKING ANIMATRONIC T-REX FOR ALL OF THIS THAT’S WHY THE EFFECTS ARE SO GOOD. CAUSE IT AIN’T CGI. AND IT AIN’T GUY IN A COSTUME. IT’S A BIG FUCKING ROBOT DINOSAUR. AND EVERY PART IS DESIGNED TO MOVE. IT COST LIKE HALF THE BUDGET OF THE FILM.

amazing

And they had the film it in small increments, especially in the outdoor scenes, because the rain fall kept soaking into the ‘skin’ of the rex and would slow down and mess up its movements. So they would stop filming and have a crew out there drying off this massive, fake dinosaur, and then they’d start filming again until it was too wet. Repeat until the end of the scene.

They used animatronics and detailed costumes for most if not all of the dinosaurs in the first movie.

The triceratops for instance, was also animatronic.

And the raptors were dudes in suits. I shit you not.

One of my favorite anecdotes I’ve read on tumblr is how the t-rex robot from Jurassic park would malfunction while it was drying out. How did it malfunction, you might wonder?

Motherfucker randomly started moving.

So apparently if you were on the jp set you would sometimes hear people screaming bloody murder even though they were all well aware that it was a giant animatronic puppet and wouldn’t actually, you know, eat them.

(link to said post about malfunctioning t-rex)

Did not know this, had to reblog for awesome movie history insights.

So, I knew about the animatronics bit but I did not know the raptors were guys in suits and the malfunctioning t-rex sounds terrifying.

And i just googled malfunctioning t-rex and was not disappointed. Apparently in order to put the skin on over the steel frame a guy had to crawl inside the t-rex while it was turned on and glue the skin down. And if somebody turned the t-rex off or the power went out the guy in the t-rex stood a very real chance of getting mangled and killed by the hydraulics.

So of course, the power goes out.

And this guy is still in there gluing the skin down.

Apparently the way to survive getting sheered to death by huge sheets of metal while you’re inside a giant t-rex robot is to curl into a ball and hope for the best.

And this guy hoped for the best and got it.

Some other people on stage pried open the t-rex jaws and glue guy crawled out of its mouth and was totally okay.

This is getting better and better.

I think they only had like 6 minutes of CGI

I’m just waiting for the T-Rex to come to life and leave its stand.

@spinosaurus-the-fisher is this the kind of content you love?

Realism comes at a cost, it seems.

i mean ok but why has nobody posted this:

It’s a three piece raptor suit.

Old movies had the best special effects

The thing about this that gets my special effects nerd going is the fact that EVERY single dinosaur was sculpted by artists based on the current existent archeological evidence of the time.

@jurassicparkandrecreation

@shepfax

Even better than that, this movie ADVANCED our best understanding of dinosaurs at the time.  They were blowing out a budget bigger than anything Hollywood had ever seen, and along with employing almost the last hurrah of incredible physical FX, they had a bank of those newfangled digital SFX computers.  Nobody’d ever really created convincing dinosaurs in a movie before.  It’d all been stop-motion animation, and even when the models were exquisitely crafted, you could just tell there was something OFF about them.  Spielberg wanted THE BEST DINOSAURS EVER, and he figured on using the cutting edge of digital modeling and animation technology to build them for him.

So they got hold of some of the best paleontologists they could find and said, “We want you guys to take this tech that your labs could pretty much never afford and use it to build us the most realistic, accurate dinosaur models the world has ever seen.”

The paleontologists knew an opportunity when it bit them in the ass.  They plugged in everything they knew about dinosaurs, all the skeletons and their best guesses about soft tissue and all that.  And when they’d created those dinosaur models, they had the computer start moving them as they realistically would with anatomy like that.  One guy took a look at those walking t-rexes and velociraptors (really utahraptors, but whatevs, fam), and he said, “Wait a minute, I’ve seen movement like that before.”

He called up film of a chicken walking.  Everyone in the room said, “Holy shit.”

Prior to 1989, the idea that birds were descended from dinosaurs existed–we knew about archaeopteryx, we knew there was some minor connection there–but the idea that DINOSAURS LIVE IN THE MODERN WORLD AND THEY ARE CALLED BIRDS was not pre-eminent.  Jurassic Park changed our scientific understanding of dinosaurs.

That paleontologists’d be Kevin Padian. Who is awesome.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Kevin_Padian

This post just gets better and better with time

mutual enrichment