Let's talk about sex!
Around the time I became sexually active I discovered a few things worth noting:
- My mom was too afraid of my degeneration into whore-dom to give me a real sex talk
- None of my friends had any earthly clue of how my nor their anatomy worked
- It was really easy to become the “slutty” one
Most of us have a shame based foundation in our sexual knowledge. We giggle at the word penis and hide behind a humorous sense of vulgarity because it’s easier than believing ourselves to be bad.
I just want you to know that you are not bad for having sexual thoughts or doing sexual things, not now and not ever. Sexuality is one of our oldest forms of communicating with one another. If we can understand ourselves sexually we can conquer a lot, but I’m getting ahead of myself here let’s go back a bit.
Getting turned on is normal. Never getting turned on is normal. Constantly getting turned on is normal. Inconsistently getting turned on is normal.
For those who have penises, let’s call them penis-havers, arousal looks like they’ve got a flashlight in their pocket. This is because arousal in penis-havers causes their penises to become erect due to a flow of blood to the organ. They harden and you can sometimes see veins outlined on them. A thin clearish liquid will drip from the head of the penis; this is called pre-cum and is a sign of the organ being ready for sex.
For those who have vaginas, let’s call them vagina-havers, arousal looks like they’re blushing and it wettens. This is because arousal in vagina-havers causes the vaginas to become engorged and wet due to a flow of blood to the organ. The labia swell and the clitoris hardens. A sometimes clear, sometimes white, sometimes creamy, sometimes thin, sometimes water like liquid comes out of the vagina, this is called “Vaginal fluid”, there are so many variations on vaginal fluid. They’re all normal. You’re totally fine, unless it includes any kind of pain or irritation, then you should visit your doctor and they can help.
- Without tongue is usually just called a kiss, a peck if it’s light and very soft
- With tongue is called french kissing, you can either be the one putting your tongue in the other person’s mouth or sucking on their tongue while it’s in your mouth, you can also touch tongues together
2nd Base is under the shirt
- Touching boobs with your hands
- Kissing or licking boobs with your..well..mouth and stuff obviously
- Playing with nipples; not everyone has sensitivity in their nipples, but that is what experimenting is for
3rd Base is under the pants stuff
- Fingering or massaging the vagina or anus
- Handling the balls and penis or anus
- Putting your mouth on or near either
- You define your sex. It can really be anything. Like literally anything there are hundreds if not thousands of sexual positions and interests; there are limitless ways to do and have sex so you’re good to go so long as you have a willing partner(s).
Use a condom, use a dental dam, use common sense
Engage in talks about sex with your partner, where you’ve been where you’re headed all of it. If you feel comfortable with your partner then continue to be cautious with what you do, but don’t feel ashamed for not following the “rules”
Using a condom protects you from most STDs STIs and pregnancy
Birth Control also keeps you from getting pregnant by tricking your body into thinking you’re already pregnant
Here’s a tip: If you start with condoms it’s easier to continue to use them as an option without stopping, make sure to get the correct sized condom, there should be some tightness, but not enough to cause pain or discomfort
You’re gonna make mistakes. A lot. You will, but it’s okay, everyone does.
You may feel that your penis or vagina is ugly, that’s also normal, but don’t worry because you’re probably the only one who thinks that.
You might start growing a lot more hair in a lot more places, namely all over your body. That’s okay too. Some people love it, some people hate it. Normal normal.
If you find yourself sexually excited by something that other people would say is weird, then congratulations you have a fetish and are normal. Fetishes are sexually impacting interests in seemingly non-sexual things. You can be aroused by anything really, so don’t worry too much if you find yourself getting turned on at the mention of spanking, or peeing, or lawn gnomes, or peaches, or cheerleaders, because considering the number of people on this planet it’s mathematically impossible that you’re the only one.
Being sexually confused is normal; it’s best to talk to your friends and loved ones about your comfort levels and all of your interests. If they are rude, mean, or judgmental; then that tells you something about their character not yours. Know this, if you have any questions you can always ask me.