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@f-a-b-l-e

tw tags i ALWAYS use: arachnophobia, horror, animal death. General "this post might be too cynical or pessimistic"-tag: spoon preservation. I often reblog stuff from fandoms I'm not even in. profile picture by @himmicca (used with permission!)

Reblog, click the picture, and prepare for battle.

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theneverendingdrums

after a while i became convinced that the words were mocking me

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whisperrun

Nothing happened. 

I WAS PROMISED A BATTLE

*throws down gauntlet*

Edit: Went back. This is the best thing to happen to my dashboard ever.

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whisperrun

Reblogging again because my followers need to see this. To be clear, rebog, go to your actual blog, then click the picture. 

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dark-ayyyyy

aight

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sunbeamrobin

OH MY GOD I WAS NOT EXPECTING THAT

DO IT

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WOW IT REALLY IS SOMETHING FREAKING GOOD PLEASE CHECK IT OUT

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Okay, if this is a rickroll I swear to…

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1) It was not a rickroll

2) It was super awesome!

3) No jumpscare or anything designed to freak you out, so doesn’t need an unreality warning (YMMV, of course).

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Suspicious but curious. Curiosity wins!

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agenderraskel

attention all writers following me- try this or you will lament.

EVERYONE TRY THIS (you gotta go to your on blog to click on it!)

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OK THIS IS THE COOLEST

I’m curious…

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janai-mcgarrett

I’m also curious…

i bet 100 beans nothing will happen

*edit*

I lost 100 beans …

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therealbeesechurger

Alright lets see what happens

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i’m excited

Käärijä's little "ey"'s and the "yeah, yeah, yeah yeah yeah" are the kind of thing I LOVE in a song and we should have more of it tbh

b-atiful

Literally where would be as a society without the soup store video

b-atiful

ive never met anyone under 25 who hasnt seen it.

It's literally an impossibly good video. The fucking performance and sheer ANGER and building frustration from both party's, the absurdity, the slow ramping ridiculousness, the way the diologue flows off itself at a breakneck speed, the phrase "I'm at soup" the pure fucking rage off both parties, the sheer almost unbelievable idiocy from the guy who's 'at soup,' the way it ends so ubruptly without losing any momentum. Its insane. I've watched it 150 times in like 2 years its never not funny.

here’s the video since op didn’t link it

Fun fact: this was written, edited, and voice acted by one guy.

Fun fact #2: this whole sketch was apparently based on an overheard conversation where someone was trying to buy chicken at The Gap.

Fun fact #3: there is actually a clothing store called Soup.

if they rebooted austin powers it would either be the most tone deaf unfunny incredibly offensive movie in years OR they'd do it right and really keep with the times in being very self aware and it would be one of the best films in decades. austin powers would be a massive support of trans rights because trans women means more women for him to shag

oh your pronouns are she/they? well baby lemme she/them titties shagadelic

austin powers discovers bisexuality and it blows his fucking mind

sub plots of the movie include him learning who he thought was a woman he previously had relations with is a trans man now and powers teaching him the ways of picking up women & powers learning he has a daughter from one of his many escapades who's accidentally followed in his footsteps to also become a spy. the two have to team up and powers struggles being a father after being absent for so long, but eventually it's revealed his daughter is a lesbian and they bond over their mutual love of shagging women

the only joke made in regards to the trans man's gender is powers going "you're a man now? now that's groovy, honey! sorry, is it still okay to call you honey?"

the trans man is revealed from powers learning about bisexuality and lamenting that he could've also been shagging men this entire time, only for the trans man to be like "well...."

instead of the usual awful transphobic joke of being disgusted powers is instead ecstatic that he's already had relations with another man and that the pressure is already off for future encounters

there's a mid credits scene of him celebrating his first planned encounter with a man and him making a comment about how he's finally been with "both" genders, where he's then informed of non-binary people existing and how there's a whole world of genders for him to explore and it freeze frames on his shocked but absolutely delighted face

Okay, but is he still from the 60s, or is he from the 90s now?

He's definitely still from the sixties because the 60s was the horniest Era

I pointed this out in a Discord server I'm in and thought Id share here:

Bob Iger announced that Disney is going to absorb Hulu, and Hulu will no longer exist next year. All shows will move to the Disney+ app.

Disney also announced they were going to remove shows and movies periodically from their streaming services.

I believe both of these moves are because of the Writers Strike.

Disney knows its going to lose the strike. There is too much public support. Specifically, the WGA is going to win writers getting more residuals from streaming.

So if Disney takes shows off of streaming, they dont have to pay the writers the residuals.

They are going to use excuses like "not enough funding for the server capacity" or "not enough views to warrent keeping the show". These are BULLSHIT. Its all greed. Its only GREED.

Pay attention to what happens in the following weeks.

And keep supporting the writers' strike.

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This is similar to what happened with HBO - new owners merged two streaming services, and all of a sudden there wasn't enough server capacity for all the shows somehow. A total lie.

Time to start downloading EVERY Hulu show. Hoist the colors high.

And yell at your congresscritters about antitrust laws.

Download everything that isn't a major franchise. If its name isn't Marvel, Star Wars or The Simpsons, assume it's getting canned and get a copy in as high quality as you can store. Eventually your copy could be the only one.

This.

This is especially true for the weird stuff you’ve never heard anyone else mention. Lost media is a tragedy regardless of what it is.

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But don't take a random tumblr's word for it, here's a verified source

You know, it occurs to me that the known internet phenomenon of Reddit “am I the asshole?” posts having completely misleading headers is actually a really great example of a far less known but far more common practice of extreme journalistic spin in cases where there are large monetary incentives to diminish the story in question.

Like, if you see a Reddit post titled “Am I the asshole for buying my wife a new dress?”, the post is pretty much always something totally deranged like: “I (48) really dislike the way my wife (20) dresses, because I think it’s too revealing and makes her look slutty, which was fine when we started dating five years ago, but it makes me feel like she’s going to cheat on me now that we’re married. I’ve politely asked her to get new clothes multiple times, and every time she refused because she said she liked her clothes, and didn’t want to waste money buying new ones. Yesterday I couldn’t take it anymore so I threw out a bunch of her old dresses and bought her a new one that was more modest looking. She started crying because one of the dresses I threw out had been left to her by her mom who died when she was a teen, but I couldn’t have known that it had sentimental value. She said that I should have asked, but obviously if I asked she’d have just told me not to throw out any of her clothes, including the ones that weren’t sentimental. Also, the more modest dress I bought was pretty expensive, and she never thanked me for it. Am I the asshole here, or is she being unreasonable?”

Similarly, whenever you see a headline like “Woman Wins Millions From McDonald’s Because Her Hot Coffee Was Too Hot”, if you dig a bit, you’ll almost always quickly find out that what actually happened was: A 79-year-old ordered coffee which, unbeknownst to her, was being served extremely dangerously hot, because McDonald’s was trying to have coffee that stayed warm over a long commute without spending any extra money on cups with better insulation. The coffee spilled on the old woman’s lap, giving her severe third degree burns over a huge portion of her body, including her genitals. She got to a hospital and they managed to save her life with skin grafting, but she became disabled from the accident, and her genitals and thighs were permanently disfigured. She tried to settle with McDonald’s for her medical costs, and McDonald’s refused to cover any portion of her medical expenses at all, and so she sued. At trial, the jury discovered that this same exact thing had happened seven hundred times before, and McDonald’s had still decided not to change their policy because paying out individual suits was cheaper than moderately reducing their coffee profits. As a result, the jury awarded punitive damages designed to penalize McDonald’s two days worth of their coffee profits, in addition to the woman’s medical costs.

I think it’s largely the same phenomenon, but I know a lot of people who are familiar with the first case, but don’t know to look for the second. If you see some totally outrageous “how could a person ever sue over this stupid thing?” case, you should immediately be incredibly suspicious that that’s all that actually happened, because a lot of the time, it absolutely isn’t. The people who have the most incentive to make their opponent look not only wrong, but completely crazy for having any sort of grievance at all, are often the actually unreasonable ones. 

Anyway this is all to say that if I see ANY of y’all automatically siding with McDonald’s over the recent case where 4-year-old girl was severely burned by their chicken nuggets because “hurr durr dumb kid didn’t know that chicken nuggets were hot, people sue over anything lol”, I will grab that McBoot you’re licking and shove it all the way up your McFuckingAss.

lawyer fun fact! sometimes you need to sue someone before your insurance will pay for your medical bills (because your insurance would rather the other person pay for your medical bills so they don’t have to)! sometimes you need to sue because what you’d get from insurance isn’t enough to pay for all of your medical bills! sometimes you want to change a specific thing, like a dangerous practice or defective part, and that’s not going to happen if you just ask nicely!

most truly ridiculous lawsuits get screened before they’re even filed (because someone goes to an attorney and that attorney is like “yeah you don’t have a case here”) or very shortly after they’re filed (because judges can toss out cases that have zero merit). 99% of the time, if it sounds ridiculous but somehow it went all the way to someone suing and winning in a jury trial, it probably wasn’t actually as absurd as it sounds.