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autism beam fire!!!

@eyesareblind

GHOUL they/them gay castle currently experiencing resident evil brain rot

forget everything anyone has ever told you on the matter the truest marker of adulthood is starting to hear the siren call of high quality kitchenware

to be clear you SHOULD buy that cast iron pan and you SHOULD buy that knife set and you SHOULD buy that fancy rice cooker and you SHOULD buy that novelty mug. high quality kitchenware is always worth it you’re literally gonna be using that almost every day

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and you SHOULD get these new things in Not Plastic, not only because plastic is bad for the environment but because over time it will become brittle and fall apart in your hands. u deserve better

puirell-deactivated20221122

when i see pads advertised as for “night use”

puirell-deactivated20221122

"Outfit repeater" is such a dumb insult. Yes, I like my clothes and will wear them. You sound like a Tiktoker who does Shein hauls. Ratio.

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horrid little cat saved me from my devil's nap by putting her paw directly into my mouth

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pov your sleep paralysis demon is very cute

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oh this is not even CLOSE to the angriest chickpea looks. at any given moment she has the face of someone about to knife you for bread in the sewer. this is just how her face is! a selection of miss piss for your perusal:

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jousting is the most human thing ever invented, to me. lets ride on the back of horses and hit eachother with sticks as hard as we can for sport. i think that thought process is what the human spirit is all about

[This idea has been rattling in my brain and I had to share it.]

I know we all love the ‘humans are space orcs’ concept… but imagine, onboard the new ship they’ve been assigned to, the human meets an actual space orc. A massive monster… fangs and tusks and scars and a battle-hardened stare, looming over all the other life forms on the ship in its thick indestructible armour it refuses to remove. It barely drinks, it doesn’t need sleep, its massive shoulders are heavy with the terrible things it has experienced. Compared to the squishy & delicate human body, this thing is a walking tank.

… Except instead of hating/ignoring one another, the human and the monster start bonding over both coming from death planets. The human is excited to find a life form who doesn’t quiver with fear at the vague description of a jellyfish and the monster is ecstatic to meet someone who understands the feeling of being bitten by a qua’lem (cats are pretty close). They sit together and compare dangerous animals and locations as the other aliens look on in confusion and fear… oh, you also have dense jungles of deadly hidden predators, boiling acid lakes, tamed predatory killers, and areas with horrendously high and low temperatures? Sick!! 

It doesn’t take long before the two of them become totally inseparable. The human loves not feeling like some kind of crazy outsider and the monster is overjoyed they’ve finally found an equal in this unkillable marshmallow.

Monster: When I was a youngling, a grol-lik stung straight through my armour. The pain lasted for approximately 16 human hours. Human: Oh yeah man, I get that. As a kid I got a wasp stuck in my shirt. It stung me like four times, it was awful, and all my cousins just laughed at me… Monster: [using their arm screen to research human courting methods] I see.

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Not quite an ‘Orc’ per-se, but eh, close enough. See here giant spiky Deathworlder pining for tiny shouty Deathworlder.

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ADHD in the era of the personal brand is wild.

You get into a thing and hyperfocus harder than anyone ever has hyperfocused. Dozens, hundreds of posts across multiple platforms. You discover things no one knows, you create many new things, you intangibly weave your very digital soul into the threads of this niche thing’s fabric. You are now known as “The Thing Guy” on several websites (despite not being a guy). People screenshot it and crosspost it to other websites, and the comments are like “OH IT’S THE THING GUY AGAIN!”

three weeks later, you drop it like a stone. You still want to do it, but you have no more motivation, and you can’t force yourself to touch it again. Your brain just goes “bored now” and moves on. 

Mere months later someone goes “hey, aren’t you The Thing Guy?”. You are suddenly smoking a cigarette. You take a deep drag. “Used to be, long ago… back in March”. They look at the calendar. It’s halfway through May.