A man walked straight into a bar

And then came out

This tags are so important

Oddly specific. Got a deposit for 6,837 today

fuck it, i never ever do those “reblog for X, this one really works!” posts, but this one doesn’t have any of that BS, this is just straight up wishing us good things; and then the comment doesn’t even say any of that either. Zero claims on this post, all positive vibes

May you end this week feeling ever more certain of a future you’ll love

“…use things to have good days.”

the loading screen trying to convince me to use even one of my 3000 consumables

I do love the phrase executive dysfunction bc the image it conjures is of a bunch of people wearing business suits around a long oval conference table  arguing with each other to the point where they’re getting into physical fights, but in the background there’s just a big empty whiteboard with a To Do list with one item on it and that item is “take shower”

two of them got into a heated argument about the order of shower and food and they’ve all left for an extended lunch break using the company card

your honor i’m in love with him

Writing, 5% of the time:

Writing, 95% of the time:

There's a user called Erika Horn (@erikahorn.art) on tiktok who made a "duet me" challenge so technically impressive that all of the duets are exactly like this LMAO

8.04 | Zero Hour

THE TIKTOK PEOPLE ARE SAYING THEY MADE GONCHAROV!!!!!

"Goncharov started on tiktok"

why do we bother with I hate my partner jokes when your boss is right there

I love my wife. my boss though? that ball and chain??

do you understand my vision

Oh this is too fun

Bestie, your brain, your VISION, ahead of your time

I'm obsessed by the fact that the basket placement heavily implies that this has happened before.

and hilariously that is not why it is called that.

It is the circle of the bears cause of ursa major and ursa minor, and the circle without bears cause ya'know opposite part of the sky.

We lucked right into that one....

#so what you’re saying is#the stars dictate whether bears do or do not exist in places

Astrology is real but only for predicting where bears will be

Bears do not travel to places they cannot see their gods

I am a going to set out to become a bear based prophet, meaning I will learn to see the future but only if it has something to do with bears

prime video uk???

Jane Austen really said ‘I respect the “I can fix him” movement but that’s just not me. He’ll fix himself if knows what’s good for him’ and that’s why her works are still calling the shots today.

Meanwhile Emily Brönte just said “We can make each other worse.” 

Mary Shelley said, "I can make him

For reals, it doesn't even have to be a whole cat.

...That sounded wrong.

Anyway, I have a neighbor who rescued a frostbitten, bedraggled little kitten with a badly injured leg, he had to have some amputations done at the vet's and though Admiral Nelson has some battle scars, he's the dearest, cuddliest tri-paw'd, one-eyed, half-tailed thing ever, and sure enough, the judges considered him Best in Class for his personality and demeanor. He didn't just get a ribbon, but a little medal and he did so well at the cat show, that's how come my neighbor decided to get him formally certified as a therapy cat. Now he has a little vest, and alternately a sort of navy uniform one with a pinned-up sleeve, and when humans are dealing with orthopedic surgery, amputations, even just being unwell in general at a rehabilitation facility where my neighbor works, they sometimes get to spend time with him and often feel quite a bit better.

There was an awkwardness when a nurse had a tuna salad sandwich at the charge desk, the Admiral decided to leave his sleeping patient and go inquire if a deserving cat might have a quick bite between watches, a different patient spotted him in his naval uniform and was worried her medication was causing hallucinations, but apart from that, the little guy does awfully good work and is a popular fellow.

All cats are best cat. That is science.

i see a post talking doom and gloom about how we'll never escape toxic masculinity. i think about back in 2017 when american girl released their first boy doll, and a review for him went viral in the collecting community. the review was written by a mom, who said they went into the store to get their daughter a doll, only to see their son's eyes light up like fire when he saw a doll that looked like him, and now every night he puts his doll in pajamas and rocks him to sleep. i think about the toddler in my daycare room a few years back who was obsessed with baby dolls, carrying them everywhere, and his mom proudly told us he uses his sisters' old baby dolls and wants to be just like them. that toddler saw another toddler crying one day and gave her the doll he had to cheer her up. i think about the eight-year-old boy i saw a few years back, excitedly waving around raya's sword in a target checkout line like all his dreams were coming true. there was a video on my instagram the other day of a little boy at disneyworld crying with joy upon meeting his hero, mulan. i think about the voice actor for bow in the she-ra reboot saying his nephews only wanted adora action figures. celebrity men are wearing dresses on tv now. last halloween i saw a little boy dressed as elsa. i went to go see spiderverse over the summer, and in the line ahead of me was a boy who couldn't be older than twelve or thirteen, bouncing and beaming, giddy with excitement over getting to see the female-led romance movie elemental. i think about the five-year-old boy at my library who breathlessly asked me where the pinkalicious books were, eyes widening when i had more on my cart, his mom explaining that he is all about pinkalicious and fancy nancy. i saw so many pictures online of boys and men dressed in pink to see barbie. teenage boys are gonna open their phones and see the man who wrote fucking game of thrones dressed in pink to see barbie. when i was a kid, a boy dressing in pink was practically a social death sentence. there are boys running around in pink on my street right now.

flashback to when MLK Jr said the worst group in the US for black rights wasn't the lawmakers passing Jim Crow laws or the KKK but the white moderate. That it was the white moderate who was forcing the country to find a middle ground between civil rights and genocide which allowed the continued systematic mistreatment of the African American community