Hello, I am Kontextmaschine. I am 27 and not entirely happy with my life.

I had a livejournal, got it way back when I was the kind of person who had a livejournal. Now I see the people still there still are, and I seem to have become the kind of person who has a tumblr. Maybe I’ll still keep it up, split topics between them, we’ll see.

I will write about history, modern society, and my life. I will often write as if these things are indistinguishable.

Also sometimes there will be happy hardcore.

The title comes from an idea I once had to write a column tracing the history and precedents of events in the news, like some sort of “context machine”. But we all know the story of modern journalism, and I guess this is the place for that, now.

I made it Kontextmaschine because a machine dedicated to historicism is obviously German.

someone stole my motorcycle right out of my goddamn driveway

Bloggers Disappointed to Learn Area Man’s Post Description of Actual Crime, Not Performance Art Piece

no references to pinball, no insight into historical Americana, this isn’t the kontext I signed up for

u know the figure of the motorcycle thief has gone through a lot of changes starting with the original post-war

“when bad shit happens people mock me accurately” is the community I’ve been looking for my whole life so

Vaccinated?

The plane he was in crashed. Whether Putin was involved with it or not is down to speculation

Why are you trying to dodge the question 🤨

Because I neither know nor care whether he was vaccinated. Also it has no bearing on what actually happened

That and that's not Prigozhin, it's Jonathan Banks the actor.

No that's Progozhin and the vaccine made his plane spontaneously get shot by air defense missiles, it's a common side effect of the jab that the media won't talk about

It seems like spreading Russian-serving misinformation is the right way to remember the guy who started the IRA.

going out with, probably, a metastatic brain tumour, telling everyone and himself he was being born again as a superman, a tragic but really fucking AMERICAN🦅🇺🇲 end to one of Tumblr's strangely quiet and respected pillars

rip @kontextmaschine

what did i do to deserve this

Aside from the sinning, that is

some people think schools should teach the christian religion. others think it should explain the sordid history of american race relations. i believe in compromise - under my administration, we shall add to every curriculum a unit on "bible black"

i am NOT gaslighting you. i am lying to you. gaslighting implies a level of effort that i am simply not putting in. deceiving you does not require much

i hate that troll has become a generic word for hater on the web. back in my day the only people worthy of the title were the guys managing to convince an entire forum thread that he really thought Samus Aran was a man called “Super Metroid”

Y’all… what do you guys do for a living… but describe it in the worst way possible.

can't believe I just saw someone argue that bestiality is wrong because you can't get them pregnant

skill iss-

I simply don't think that's true eBooks.com but thank you anyway

Baldur’s Gate 3 allows you to choose whether you want your character to have a cut or uncut penis and literally all of your party members are chomping at the bit to fuck you inside of 2 hours but no, you cannot have Dungeon Travelers 2 or Chaos;Head NoAH on Steam.

Just to clarify, Chaos;Head NoAH was eventually allowed onto Steam, but only because Spike Chunsoft was a big enough publisher to have a direct line to Valve and get the ban reversed. Meanwhile, indie visual novels, many of which have queer content but no actual sexual content, continue to get banned just because they feature schoolgirls, and they have no recourse.

“What's necessary and valuable is to live in a way that respects and minimizes the impact your existence has on the world around you.”

scrupulosity bait is the mindkiller and i will not listen; i will remind the world of my existence hour after day after day after decade after eon. live your life to say “you can’t ignore me no matter how much you try.”

i will inscribe my existence upon the fabric of the universe through unfathomable violence. i will lift my F-950 until it is legally classified as a skyscraper. 'merica

SPRINGFIGHT! (a Simpsons fan comic)

I made this a couple years ago, back before tumblr allowed this many images in one post. May or may not be easier to read on my website.

I like the torment nexus meme as much as the next guy but like, a guy wrote a whole entire book about how you shouldn’t put dinosaurs in a zoo. sometimes it’s the sci-fi writers who are wrong.