this is so fun

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THE TUMBLR HORSE DERBY

WELCOME TO THE FIRST TUMBLR HORSE DERBY (that i know of, anyway)

HOW TO HORSE: 🐎🐎🐎 - Vote for your FAVOURITE horse to make them go faster! (yknow, like those carnival horse derby games!) MAY THE BEST HORSE WIN

(also sample size reblog yadda yadda yadda HORSE)

downside: going to have to include a picture of the Giza pyramids in the slides for the lecture upside: i get to give people a crash course in why perspective matters in two frames, because

followed by

is such a funny sequence

i find most people who haven't seen it in person don't know that cairo is RIGHT THERE

I loved these perspectives so I took some of my own when I was in Cairo and yeah, they're literally just. Right there. Pass em on your way to work, nbd

No, y'all don't even understand.

There is literally a Pizza Hut across the street from the pyramids.

That Pizza Hut among other things is why Egyptologists laugh their asses off when we see another piece of media where the protagonists get "lost in the desert near the pyramids", because it's like... just turn around my dudes you're only a seven min walk away from the nearest fastfood shop

Yall don't know how much I adore all of this

This collab was not on my 2023 bingo card

(source)

friends

I demonstrate the 10 types of magic ✨

Chocolate guy this, chocolate guy that.

WHEN IS TUMBLR GOING TO JOIN ME IN COLLECTIVELY LOSING OUR SHIT OVER STOP-MO GUY?

I'VE BEEN FOLLOWING STOP-MO GUY FOR YEARS AND I CONTINUE TO SCREAM AT THE CASUAL DISREGARD OF REALITY.

KILL HIM

(via)

This minecraft short comic called "A strange Coast" made by Ian Flynn I believe, I found in a book from my library I work has to be one of the most beautiful and respectful takes on the game.

It understands minecradf so perfectly and doesn't treat it as childishly as the other stories in it did.

And all that within 10 pages and no word spoken.

Beautiful

Just a Dream

Part 5 - The Truth

Part 1 - The Nightmare Part 2 - The Dream Part 3 - The Mists Part 4 - The Trade

Ash (male fae - sidhe) x Kat (female human) - SWF Word Count: 2379 TW: Verbally and emotionally abusive situations (not between main characters), profanity, mild violence

Ash had said to try and find him. But Kat had no idea how. Not knowing where else to look, she started with Google. It sounded insane, but she typed it in the search bar anyway. ‘How to find a fae’. She got results. About 49,600,000 results, to be precise, but none of them were particularly helpful. Neither was ‘How to locate a fae prince’. There were a couple of books she found that she might add to her ‘to read’ list, but nothing that would lead her to Ash. She did find something interesting when she googled ‘summoning fae’. There were dozens and dozens of pages with even more links on how to summon fae. She had read through a few of them, but didn’t trust they knew what they were talking about at all. They weren’t all cute little things that glowed with wings. And even if that’s what they looked like, that didn’t mean they weren’t dangerous.

What finally caught her eye was a site on how to get rid of ‘pests’ including fae. There weren’t any big promises or flashy graphics. Just a number to call.

“Graymer Removal Services .” It was a woman’s voice on the other end of the line, her Irish accent mellow and rolling.

“Um, hi. I saw your website on the internet.”

“You got a pest problem?” Her intensity bled through the phone.

“Well, no, not exactly...”

There was a low curse Kat couldn’t quite make out, “If you’re another reporter, don’t waste my time.”

“Hey, no, please. Please don’t hang up. I don’t need to get rid of a fae, I need to summon one.” The line was so quiet she thought it had gone dead.

“That is insanely stupid, you know that right?”

Kat knew fae could be ...tricky and some were even malicious and dangerous. “He’s not like that.”

“Wait, you’ve spoken to one?”

“Well, sort of. In my dreams. I see him in my dreams. And we talk...” Oh…my …god, this woman was going to think she was insane, and rightfully so. And now that she’d said it out loud, Kat was beginning to question her own sanity.

“You’ve seen a fae. In your dreams. More than once?” She didn’t sound like Kat was insane, in fact, she sounded like she was taking her very seriously. And that almost frightened her.

“Yeah... for months now.”

“Meet me at Midnight Oil around 3 pm today.”

THIS IS JUST SO GOOD

tap for a surprise

I can’t breathe

Best wishes to these people obviously but I’m WHEEZING at the concept of a standard horror plot starter but the stranded travelers are an entire fully equipped orchestra.

It’s the prequel to every other horror film. Their haunting spirits play the background music.

Oh shoot, that actually would be a really cool concept. The film starts with no thematic music, and as each member of the orchestra is picked off, their instrument joins the soundtrack. Subtly, so you don’t really notice, and the end credits are a full orchestral symphony.

DUUUUUDE

Call that a death note

That entire thing could also be used brilliantly for foreshadowing!

Like, you suddenly notice a string instrument in the background music and you haven’t seen a few of them in a while. And the more musically versed you are, the more you figure it out (like in a mystery novel if you happen to have in-depth knowledge about the current riddle) while the “normal” people can get fooled into twists.

The non-musically versed audience hears a new brass instrument and is like “Oh shit, the dude with the tenor horn is probably dead!”, but then he suddenly appears perfectly fine and one minute later they find the body of the Euphonium player.

And if the orchestra members can hear it as well, then it’s of course another layer cause THEY would probably recognize who is playing. And depending on the director, they could go full ‘Tomato in the Mirror’ and imply they know but Just. Not. Say it. (cause why should they, they all DO KNOW). So they are like “Oh no…. No…!” and start looking for the corpse while the audience is still stuck at “Ok, a violin player, but which???”

immediately after dying you get a brief solo

And since absolutely no music at the beginning would be kinda estranging, I’d suggest one singular instrument and it’s revealed early on that a member of the orchestra recently passed, leading into the reason why they visited the castle in the first place, yaddayaddayadda, the plot commences

The first guy who died played the triangle

It is absolutely essential to me that the orchestra remains Bolivian.

ITS THE SAME DOG

THERE SHE IS

pitter patter putter patter *you look down and see this*

@clawfootboy​

I trust him

Okay but this is exactly what I love.

The above image is a historical artifact. Colima dog. It dates back to circa 100 BCE-300 CE. (x)

And, around two thousand years later it was originally shaped with care, painted with love, and adored… someone draws it. Draws it using a new technological device that allows modern people to shape things with care, paint with love, and even move them -on a screen, glowing.

And the said person decides to share it with the world. The whole world adores it.

I love the connection between past and today. We were humans back then, and we are still the same.

Cute dog :)

Louis... mon cher... Je sais that la petite mademoiselle Claudia means a lot to you, je veux what's best for her too. Mais, pour être honnête, Je ne think pas she's as happy with us in our home as she would be otherwise. Fortunately, I have found a group of mentors seemingly adequate to her needs. These cinq garçons, musiciens majestueux, one has your namesake, Louis, offer une grand récompense monétaire pour l'adoption d'une fille, and ous can see her when they're on toure. Elles cinq sont called... Une Directioneaux???

Ek het absoluut geen idee wat hierdie sê nie maar ek praat maar terug sodat hulle nie alleen voel nie. Jy is welkom! Ek hoop jy het n wonderlike dag! Um ek dink dis Frans... ek praat nie Frans nie, maar dalk sal iemand hierdie vertaal en hulle beter laat voel. In elk geval, ek dink ek het nou genoeg gesê... ek is lief vir jou, vreemdeling!

harvesting cinnamon

...How did it ever occur to someone that this was edible?...

I mean, I'm guessing some variation of "hey that tree I used as firewood sure had some good smelling smoke and made the food we cooked over it better, I wonder what else we could do with it . . . "

Yea, that or

I mean. There’s foods out there that if you don’t cook them exactly right they will kill you. Humans have been trying absolutely everything to see what they can eat.

there is a shark. The greenland shark. It lives in the ocean where humans naturally die. At depths that would crush a human. In water so cold it would very quickly kill a person. It’s a big shark, 20ish feet. Several have been found with polar bear in their stomach. They live hundreds of years. To keep from freezing, their blood is full of anti-freeze chemicals that makes their meat poisonous to humans.

They are considered by humans living near them to be... a delicacy.

Of course you have to bury it for six months to let it ferment the poisons out.

i swear to gods, if it’s on this planet, we will find a way to eat it.

did you know, the first scientists to find a whole frozen mammoth out in the tundra ... cooked some and ate it? Like, they found it and excavated it, and while still on site these 2 professionals with degrees said to each other, oh we gotta eat some of that. It was like 17 THOUSAND years old. They said it tasted bad. No shit. But that’s humans for you.

anyway, the cinnamon harvesting is awesome, never saw that before

Humans are one of the most accomplished omnivores on the planet.