whY? 

i don’t even read ‘omg’ as ‘oh my god’ anymore i literally just read it as ‘omg’. y'all know what i’m talking about.

The Secretary

The Intern 

The Assistant

You guys asked a million times and I wanted to punch all of you but its here now so stop harassing me :)

~

You stalked out of your office, a heavy glare set on your face, pushing lesser employees out of your way. You were going to be late for a very important meeting and it was all your secretary’s fault.

Fucking Calum Hood. Your beautiful, but very stupid employee had given you the wrong time and location for the meeting.

You strut right up to his desk and grabbed him by the collar, pulling him up out of his seat.

“Miss Y/L/N?” Calum stuttered, tripping over his feet trying to keep up with the pace that you were pulling him at. “Where are we going? What are you doing?”

Your mouth was set in a thin line. “We’re going to my meeting in the new wing that they just built last week and you’re going to tell my superiors that you told me the wrong location and time for our meeting and are, subsequently, the reason for my untimeliness.”

You pulled him down the hall of the new wing, admiring how all the offices and meeting rooms were made of glass. The rooms were nice, but it made you uncomfortable how you could see into all the rooms. Was there no such thing as privacy? Clearly not.

The two of you took a sharp turn down a narrow hallway, hustled through the employee lounge, ignoring the whistles from your assistant, Ashton, and finally pulled open the door to your meeting room.

You came to a halt in the doorway, scanning over the empty chairs and glaring at your reflection in the mirror walls. Seriously, who puts up mirror walls? Nobody wants to see themselves attempt to schmooze their superiors during a meeting. “What the fuck?” you whispered, dragging a hand over your sweaty forehead. “I’m late? And they’re somehow all later than me?”

Calum pulled his shirt collar from your grip, smoothing out the wrinkles, and glared at you. “Now that no one is around, I thought you’d like to know that I’m aware of the fact that you fucked my buddy, Ashton,” he hissed, backing you up into the mirror wall. “And you had a sexual relationship with my friend, Luke, who you, subsequently, fired,” he chuckled, mocking you. He crowded into your space, breathing hot air onto your face.

You whimpered and pressed your sweaty palms flat against the glass behind you, shivering at the cool feeling. Ever since you hooked up with Ashton on your desk, you were obsessed with the idea of being dominated. At first it was hard for you to let go of control, but the idea of Calum being in charge of you was one that was intoxicating.

“Do you know how quickly this company would drop your ass and fire you if they knew you were having sex with your employees?”

If your superiors found out they would fire you in a matter of moments and they’d make sure you wouldn’t be getting another job for a rather long time.

Calum pressed his body flush to yours, pinning you to the glass. “They’d be so mad,” he whispered, pressing kisses into your neck, licking and sucking on your skin.

You let out a short gasp and wrapped a one of your legs around his waist, pushing your hips into his. “But you won’t tell right?” you whispered, grinding up into his hard on.

Calum chuckled, and bit softly into your shoulder. “I’m sure you can convince me not to.”

You grinned at the Maori boy and reached up to push your lips into his plush ones. “We better act quick then. We don’t want the latecomers to walk in on us, do we?”

Calum grinned back at you and gently pushed your leg off of his hip. He gripped your hand in his and pulled you towards the meeting table, peeling your dress from your body.

You went to place your bottom on top of the table when you saw your secretary shaking his head.

“Flip over,” he commanded, stepping back from you.

You furrowed your brows but turned over nonetheless so you were bent over the table, the cold table flush against your chest and your ass on display for the boy.

Calum’s hands gripped the round globes and squeezed, making you squeal. Your panties were pulled off and your bra was unclipped. He ran his fingers up and down your cheeks softly, causing goosebumps to rise up on your skin. His hand ran down farther and slipped between your folds, gently rubbing at your clit.

You moaned and scratched at the smooth table, looking for something to hold on to. “Calum, please,” you whined, pushing your hips back into his hand to create more pressure.

Calum hummed and pulled away from you. “What do you want, baby?” There was rustling behind you as Calum’s clothes hit the floor.

You let out a soft huff and shook your ass at him. “Please, Calum, please fuck me.”

The taunt and the tease was almost becoming too much for you and you just really wanted to get fucked before your superiors showed up while you were naked.

You were just about to start begging again when Calum’s cock ran along your slit, slipping between your folds and rubbing against your clit. A breathy mouth slipped out from between your lips and you rocked your hips back, letting your eyelids droop closed at the euphoric feeling.

“Please, baby, fuck me,” you whined, grappling at the table again. His cock nudged your entrance and you pushed back, feeling the head sink in.

Calum moaned and grabbed your hips to steady you so you couldn’t push anymore of him inside of you. Your bodies stilled for a long moment.

Once he felt like you had waited long enough, Calum rammed his hips forward, slamming into you to the hilt and stretching you open on his cock.

A high pitch moan left your mouth and you pushed your hips back, feeling him pulse inside of you.

Calum pulled his cock out slowly until just the tip was left inside. “You feel so good, baby, so good. You’re so tight, darling.”

You squeaked when he shoved back in. “Harder, Calum please,” you whined, feeling your toes curl as his hips start to jackhammer into your ass.

“You like it, baby?” His hips were creating a sharp, slapping sound every time they came in contact with your skin. “You like it when I fuck you?”

“Yeah, yeah,” you breathed choppily.

Calum hummed and ran his hands down your back. “Are you going to cum, beautiful?”

You nodded your head yes, not trusting your voice.

Calum grinned behind and reached around, massaging your clit. “Do it, baby, cum for me,” he grunted in your ear.

Screaming, you let go and felt pleasure wrap around you, bursting through your body, starting in your toes and traveling all the way up to the tips of your ears.

Calum yelled out as he felt you squeeze around him and came. Slowly, he eased his cock out of you and stepped back.

You sighed and stepped away from the table as well, pulling your clothes back on. “No one finds out about this, right, Calum?” You asked, fluffing your hair in the mirror wall.

Calum hummed and grinned at you. “We should probably go see why everyone else is late, right?” He walked to the door to the hallway and pushed it, holding it open for you.

You smiled politely at your secretary, walking through the opening and out into the hallway where you came face to face with your red faced superiors.

You came to a halt uneasily. “Why are you all waiting outside?”

Calum coughed from behind you. “They probably didn’t want to interrupt us, Baby.” He glided up to your side and pressed a kiss into your cheek.

Your boss, Mr. Miller, took a step forward and glared at the two of you. A thick vein was standing out along his forehead. “Miss Y/L/N, Mr. Hood, you’re both fired,” he bellowed. “And I swear to God I will make sure no one ever hires you again for pulling a stunt like this!”

“What! Why?” You cried, holding your hands to the sides of your head. Stunt? Surely, he didn’t know about what just happened? How could he?

Calum grinned at you and when he winked you realized two things.

The first thing that you realized was that Calum had set you up so you would be fired. He gave you to the wrong time on purpose so you would be there first and your superiors would show up to see you getting fucked by your secretary in the meeting room.

The second thing you realized was that the walls were never made of regular mirrors. The walls were made of two way mirrors and just like every other meeting room in the hallway you could look directly in.

~

Masterlist

Ao3

THIS IS PORN

more reblogs please.she made this her own song

yo she killed it

@theeunseen-one

I stay salty if anyone who can sing like this. somebody need to sign her tho

@pnwexplorer Add this to the playlist.

fffffffffffffffUCK

They all sound like that one fish in finding nemo

pay attention to who actually takes your feelings into consideration

Wildlife Photographer Dan King captured these photographs of a Red Fox waking up and enjoying a morning stretch/yawn by the shore of the Beaufort Sea on the north slope of Alaska.

don’t tell me you didn’t cry watching this bc why tf you’re lying

flirting with bae like 

THIS IS SO CUTR

This is literally how I flirt lmao

Person: Do you like 5SOS

Me:

(creds to @motivatingmuke on twitter)

ball with the same girl you was broke with

Iconic

when u put ur music on shuffle

what the actual fuck is this

relatable quotes?

petition to rename the usa ‘south canada’

what about alaska

are we then normal canada

canada a bit to the left

What about South America? Is that just America? Or South South Canada?

i cried my ass of laughing

WARM CANADA

i caN’T BREATHE OH MY GOD

I’m not even from Canada but I approve this change of names

M ILKY E H

Milky Eh. I just died.

Ded.

As a Canadian, I approve.