tired

Victoria Chang, from “Pear Tree”

doing my part by being in my 20s and not getting married HOLD THE LINE

university is like a video game. you can pick up sidequests. Youre gonna neglect the main storyline. youre gonna end up in a guild of sorts. i just looted a bush on campus and found a sticker

i like working at plant store. sometimes you ring up someone and there's a slug on their plant and so you're like "Oh haha you've got a friend there let me get that for you" and you put the slug on your hand for safekeeping but then its really busy and you dont have time to take the slug outside before the next customer in line so you just have a slug chilling on your hand for 15 minutes. really makes you feel at peace with nature. also it means sometimes i get to say my favorite line which is "would you like this free slug with your purchase"

@holyknuckled you get it. lterally what are we here on earth for if not to occasionally impose gastropods upon unsuspecting customers. this story is delightful

@holyknuckled like that?

oh? my god???

yeah, Exactly like that

tomboyism is so funny to me. gender non-conformity for girls is acceptable for like two minutes between the ages of 8 and 10. beyond that it’s appalling and you’re a freak but for those two years…… they could’ve had it all

I'll block a bitch on letterboxd I'll block a bitch on airbuds widget I'll block a bitch on goodreads I'll block a bitch on microsoft teams

Sound up

Why does he need a- … oh

i snork on my bed til i mimimi

Another day of being a sweetiepie. Just clocked in

Sick of this shit it’s time to be a rotted cunt

aquarium advertisments say stuiff like discover the longtooth grouper this friday

I see that, and raise you my local aquarium's advertising.

Vancouver Aquarium has similar ads!

They also have some SERIOUSLY inventive ones:

(High and Low Tide ^)

the only type of advertising that should exist: "ooooohhhh you want to come look at the animal"

they should have a cambrian explosion again

me every day cause I don’t understand anything

good morning butches, tumblrinas, nerds, strap suckers, pillow princesses, hot girls & besties

Alien pulling your sleeve to get your attention: and who is this Cunt you all serve

if i’m ever brutally murdered and everyone feels like they need to do something productive in my memory, all i want is for you to pass legislation banning LED headlights in my name. regardless of how irrelevant it is to my murder. it’s relevant to my heart.