Interviewer: So can you say what prompted your quest for immortality?
Me: [clears throat awkwardly]
Me: have you seen my TBR pile
Knowing my fat ass if I were Belle I would have tried a hell of a lot harder to eat all those foods during Be Our Guest
I mean look at this shit
Bitch just grabbed a cherry
“Try the grey stuff it’s delicious” Bitch please pass me the fork
This scene is visually stunning, but my drunk ass would have climbed the table for some champagne
Don’t even get me started with the live action version I MEAN LOOK AT THIS
In summary I would basically look like this throughout the song
moringottos-deactivated20210117
when I was 14 I worked in a grocery store and one day I got to bag Stephen King’s groceries and of course, being the little horror fiction nerd I am I was completely starstruck
I think he thought I was gonna ask for an autograph because I was not even lowkey staring I was full on moon-faced and bouncing and he kept looking over at me hesitantly like aw jeez kid fuck off
anyways I finally managed to squeak out that I was a huge fan and asked for advice on writing, “how do I write as well as you do?” in my horrible thick German accent and broken ass English and he gave me the best writing advice I have ever received
“shit kid, stop worrying about how other people do it and just write your story”
14 years later my wife and I nearly hit him with our car because he was jaywalking
lokispriestess
However you think this story will end is wrong
yeah i feel fine for now but i know i haven’t worked hard enough today and this has the potential to make me feel real bad real quick so i guess i’m just gonna be out chilling on that sweet tightrope for a while there
Me after my friend dumps the fuckboy
“After studying the French Revolution, he [de Tocqueville] wrote that revolts tend to start not in places where conditions are worst, but in places where expectations are most unmet. So if you’ve been raised to believe your life will unfold a certain way—say, with a steady union job that doesn’t require a college degree but does prvide a middle-class income, with traditional gender roles intact and everyone speaking English—and then things don’t work out the way you expected, that’s when you get angry. It’s about loss. It’s about the sense that the future is going to be harder than the past… Anger and resentment fill that void and can overwhelm everything else: tolerance, basic standards of decency, facts, and certainly the kind of practical solutions I spent the campaign offering.”
— Hillary Clinton, What Happened, page 442
pivotpivotpivot-archive
Isn’t that great? I mean, isn’t that just kick-you-in-the-crotch, spit-on-your-neck fantastic?
Source: pivotpivotpivot
ponlova
no but it is potentially the start of the reverse happening, straights being put in the place of gay people, being kicked out of their homes and/or being killed because of their sexuality, if that starts it’ll set off a viscous loop that we may not be able to break out of
dragonkisser
Boo straight people
Boo straight people
thesymbolofpeace
boo straight people
fuckmarceline
boo straight people
communist-rosie
boo straight people
broke-broken-breaking
Reblog to oppress a hetero
1 rb = 1 het oppression
anormaux
hotdog-friend
is that butter
ibnuprofen
no it’s stonehenge
sometimes-butts
I can’t believe it’s not butter
if every man on the subway stopped manspreading do you know how many more people could sit??
me: okay i’ve complained enough about this it’s time to put it to rest
me five minutes later: actually you know what-
an actual photo of me when i heard “oh, ‘cause she’s dead!” for the first time:
My stepfather combined “that’s a tough nut to crack” and “that’s a hard pill to swallow” and ended up saying “that’s a tough nut to swallow” and I haven’t functioned properly since i heard him say it
sometimes you have to ask yourself, do i have an unreasonable amount of books? and the answer is always yes. yes, you have too many, and yes, you should have more
solidsnakesucker-deactivated202
consider this: being fat and chubby is ok and good
justagiantinthesky
Sources?
metalgearsolids
Sources: me looking at myself and going “nice”
ballets or musicals? art or literature? reader or writer? cafe or library? poetry or prose? art galleries or history museums? silk or velvet? regency or victorian? piano or violin? hardcover or paperback?
Literally felt my soul chip away to nothing trying to decide any of these.
meerkat-rhapsody
simba: i ran away from home
timon: that’s so sad pumbaa play hakuna matata