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I don't think very much

@everythingbutbooks-sometimes

that's it, that's me in my final form

I told a kid in my class the other day that it was going to be the year of the tiger! This kid is a kindergartner, five years old.

Usually there’s some interest when I bring this up, but this kid sort of sat with that for a couple minutes, expression settling into a thousand yard stare. Just as I was wondering if something was wrong, he looked at me with his haunted eyes and asked, in a tone of resignation: “When are the tigers coming?”

I had to quickly reassure him that the year of the tiger was like…an animal assigned to the year, and not another plague or natural disaster! Between the Covid, lockdowns, and huge flood of cicadas last year this child probably decided that this was in line with how the world worked and was mentally getting his affairs in order.

‘​I guess a plague of tigers might as well happen’

The Goncharov Phenomenon and the concept of Modern Mythology

Ok so

I think that the whole Goncharov thing is really interesting, both on a cultural scale but also on a bigger level. In a way its sort of emblematic of how human people create stories, folklore and mythology on a collective scale. Its really interesting to see whats going on with the goncharov stuff and draw connections to other kinds of stories created on the same sort of sphere of communal belief which becomes so strong it practically brings that thing into semi-existance. Like what we're watching unfold here is i think the equivalent to the ancient mythology and how we as humans construct this kind of canon for a story that only exists in our mind, not even with any real or genuine source material. we just, as people do, saw something unexplainable and sought to explain it best we could, and I think its a really beautiful and human thing for an absolute ton of people to come together and craft this story for all of us to enjoy.

I recently started working in hospitality, and I’ll tell you guys right now, the trope of “there was only one bed” is not as rare as you’d think in real life. A few times a week, at least, I have guys come in who are working together on projects in town or passing through who have to literally book the last room I have available for the night and lo and behold — there is only one bed, and guess what, they give each other a side-eyed look and begrudgingly take it. So write it up, it happens all the time!!!

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i-hate-this-website

Never let your There Was Only One Bed dreams die. I was secretly in love with my best friend for over a year when she graduated and moved to Oklahoma (like 1000 miles away) for grad school. Between that travel restrictions, we were so scared we’d never see eachother again.

At the end of summer, when Covid numbers were at a lower point, I took the risk to visit her in her new apartment and I quickly realized that, unlike when I’d spent the night at her house before, the couch wasn’t made up like a bed. She explained that since her new couch was so fancy and pink, I couldn’t possibly sleep on it, and so I needed to sleep in the bed with her. You know, out of necessity. I woke up with her snuggled around me in the middle of the night.

We’re dating now, and I genuinely think I’m going to marry her. Just the other day, though, I mentioned that if she hadn’t been weird about her fancy couch, I probably never would have like confessed my feelings. AND THEN she stood up, took the cushions off the fancy couch, UNFOLDED IT INTO A HIDE-A-BED, and said “I KNOW.”

THIS GIRL. ORCHESTRATED. BED SCARCITY. JUST SO SHE COULD MAKE THE “ONLY ONE BED” EXCUSE. Y’all when I said I just about lost my goddamn mind, I just about lost my goddamn mind. I love this sneaky bitch so much and the moral of this story is BE THE ONE BED YOU WANT TO SEE IN THE WORLD.

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Fanfic imitates life, and life imitates fanfic. It’s full circle really.

oh my god 

there was only one bed

but it was STAGED

I love this so much

New Fanfic Trope Unlocked!!!!!

AU:There was only one bed - by design👀

Fake dating or only one bed?

Fake only one bed

I love the trope, because it’s literally how my husband and I started dating. We’d been best friends for years, had to sleep in an “only one bed” situation, and… well, we had our thirteenth wedding anniversary last spring.

Some gay men really put 0 hours of work into unlearning their hatred of women’s bodies and anatomy it’s embarrassing. Like i’m super fucking sorry that you’ve got a pussy ick thing going on but i got over it after like one conversation with a friend and you’re 29 years old publicizing your pussy ick on twitter dot com dot gov posting about how super fucking hard it is that trans men are also in gay bars and that’s Not Valid because ewwww they have vacheena which is the opposite of gay eeewwwwwww! And you have to let everybody know that you’re gay not because you like men but because you hate pussy so much it makes you transphobic. Like how can you even continue to serve cunt in such a state

What more is there to say. Transphobic gay men could never serve cunt cause they hate pussy too much

This is just The Magnus Institute.

Nope.

They have a gas-based firefighting system instead of sprinklers for obvious reasons. It does lower the percentage of oxygen in the building, but not enough to kill anyone.

I found this by googling “Yale library fire oxygen.” It was literally the first result.

Fact-checking is your friend.

It’s true. It’s not the fire suppression system that kills you. The Librarians come and personally murder you for starting a fire in a library. But you didn’t start a fire you say? No matter. You are collateral damage. Everybody gets killed to show that arsonists have no chance of escaping justice

an orangutan traveling at non-euclidean speeds erupts from the aether to clothesline you into another dimension

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god im trying so hard to decipher that last addition and im coming up empty

I gotta say, so much queer intra-community horseshit dropped off my shoulders when I decided to adopt a firm policy that everyone is the expert in their own identity, the single most knowledgeable person about what it's like to live life in their own skin, and that if someone describes their experience in ways I find contradictory or paradoxical I should do them the courtesy of presuming that they are striving to express something very specific and nuanced, rather than leaping to the conclusion that they're just dumb and using words wrong.

Sure, there are some combinations of identity terms that I look at and go "hmm, I don't get how that works." I'm still a human being. But there's a big difference between not getting how something works versus insisting that it doesn't.

I want "everyone is the expert in their own identity" on a poster

East Asian fanartists are starting to migrate back to Tumblr because Twitter is insane, toxic, and dying, and what we're NOT going to do is let the fucking exclusionists get them, do you hear me? We are not going to let a bunch of feral idiots try to apply the most myopic version of puritanism to foreign artists we're not we're not we're not. Form an armed brigade if you have to, do you hear me. We're not going to bully the artists who may or may not even speak English because we have our precious standards of moral purity. If we see art that makes us uncomfy we're going to block the artist and tumblr savior their name so we don't have to see them again AND WE'RE GONNA MOVE THE FUCK ON.