Drew Ahsoka with loth-cats because I wanted to
unflag that trannys selfie or so help me i will start executing hostages at the family values factory
compulsory abledness also (partially) explains why disability aids are forced onto some people and denied from others
prosthetic limbs are forced onto amputees whether they want them or not because the goal is to make disabled people look as abled as possible. whereas, all sorts of people who would benefit from mobility aids are often denied them until it’s a “last resort” because! you guessed it! the goal is to make us look as abled as possible
neither person in this situation is privileged. it’s just that the same harmful phenomenon impacts different groups in different ways
And if they can’t make us look abled they don’t want to see us at all. I refer of course to the “you can only have a mobility aid if you need it inside the house - we don’t care if you starve to death and never see a doctor again because you can’t leave the house” standard policy of US insurance companies towards mobility aids.
This reminds me of when you see a fossil replica and they've replaced the missing parts with reconstruction in a different material so you can see what the object used to be.
I've always thought that was beautiful.
this post leaves out the funniest part of this interaction
how is it that this is like *exactly* how Marvel and Disney Star Wars fans talk about movies
hersheywrites
I don’t have food stamps but I need to know how to eat well for $4/day. Thank you for this.
I love this cookbook!
anarchofoxxy
Tips and tricks on how to survive being working class.
I’ve seen this kind of thing before and a lot of them are full of random weird shit you’d never make…because of time constraints or like, it just sounds super gross.
But this one had a whole section that’s just “Things on Toast”. Another that was all about putting crap in your oatmeal to make it better. Those are fairly pedestrian and don’t take forever.
I haven’t looked through the whole thing yet but so far it’s actually pretty practical. Also if you’re broke like me and don’t know how to make Dal, you should get on that.
I also liked that there’s this at the beginning:
This book isn’t challenging you to live on so little; it’s a resource in case that’s your reality. In May 2014, there were 46 million Americans on food stamps. Untold millions more—in particular, retirees and students—live under similar constraints.
Been there. Done that. Advice on this art is always welcome.
The link above seems to be broken; here’s one that still works.
The Good And Cheap cookbook is 100% free as a PDF download from the author’s website and is available in English and Spanish. It is practical, tasty, easy, and kind. Physical copies are one of my top “so you have your own place now” gifts. Highly recommend.
(note that the PDF is oriented the same as the physical book - two square pages - so it’s more landscape format and might be difficult to read on a phone)
Honestly!!! This is just psychological trauma in the making
beyoncescock
THANK YOU
I’ve asked parents about this and they always say they are teaching the child responsibility and “respect for other people’s things.” If I point out that the child accidentally broke their own toy they always say “I bought them that toy” or “my sister gave that to them.”
The problem is that parents view all possessions as not really belonging to the child. A part of them always seems to think that the adult who provided the money is the real owner
If a parent breaks a dish they see it as breaking something that already belonged to them, but if a child breaks it they see it as the child breaking something that belonged to the parents
People raising children need to realize that household possessions belong to the entire household. If everyone has to use that plate then it belongs to everyone and anyone can have a forgivable accident with it. It’s okay to deem certain possessions as just yours and ask everyone in the house to respect that, but extend the same respect to your child’s belongings
Big mood. I know most of these are talking about little little kids, but here’s a tale from middle school. I had forgotten to charge my phone one night, and this was back when cell phones used to beep loudly when they were low on battery. I kept hearing the noise throughout the afternoon and not recognizing what it was because I’d never heard it before. When I finally did realize what it was, I was in science class and my fellow classmates were making presentations. I reached into my bag to try to turn off the phone, and then the low-battery sound went off, loud enough for the teacher to hear it. She confiscated my phone in front of everyone, and I didn’t get it back until after the weekend because it was a Friday. I was really embarrassed, especially to tell my parents.
When I got my phone back that Monday, my teacher said it was important for me to learn this lesson now since in college they wouldn’t tolerate phones going off. Fast forward to when I was in college, any time someone’s phone went off, either the professor would tell them to turn it off, or they would say, “Oh, my bad,” and turn it off themselves, and everyone would move on. I even had a professor who danced around while someone’s phone went off, and it was a welcome moment of levity during the lecture.
I say all this to say, one of the worst aspects of being a child/teen was adults assuming my intentions were malicious.
jaskiegg
God I’ve been reading these posts for a while and each time I am struck with the realization that certainly not all parents were supposed to be a parent
“I say all this to say, one of the worst aspects of being a child/teen was adults assuming my intentions were malicious.” YES this
The problem is, even if families are forgiving the culture around children still effects the child. I use myself as proof of that.
A few times between the ages of 4 and 18 I broke things. I broke my grandma’s favorite Christmas ornament. Her first question was: “Are you hurt?” and when I apologized profusely she said “I’m just glad you weren’t hurt.”
I broke a few plates. I broke a couple glasses. Every time my dad’s first response was “Did you get cut?” the second step was cleaning up the broken bits, and the third was a discussion of what led to me breaking it and how I could avoid doing that in the future.
Same with spills. Same with stains. My biggest “punishment” from my immediate family was being taught how to clean up the mess I made and being shown in detail how to avoid the same mistake in the future if it was avoidable. There were consequences for my actions, but they were the direct result of those actions and nothing much beyond that.
My family tried so hard to teach me how to deal with accidents in a healthy way. They were patient. They treated every slip-up as a learning opportunity. They showed me a lot of love. The other adults still got to me. Teachers still punished and publicly shamed me and other students for our mess-ups. Extended family members outside of my small supportive circle still yelled at me. My friends’ parents still got mad.
To the point where whenever I messed up my first instinct was that my dad or grandparents were going to punish me, or yell at me, or hit me, even though they never did. They just didn’t. They always responded with patience and an attitude of “I’m glad you’re safe and I want to help you learn from this.” And I was still afraid of messing up. Mortified. Expecting the worst every time.
It’s like… we need to change the culture around this, man. Completely.
Also, not entirely related but this shit exposes one of the biggest things I habitually point out about the hypocrisy of the pro-hitting children moral framework: it’s generally would be seen as morally wrong to physically harm an adult for messing up the same way.
Like if an adult guest (adult, fully capable of defending themself from me) came to my house and accidentally dropped one of my plates and I started trying to beat the shit out of them everyone would agree that it’s assault and morally wrong for me to do. But if it’s a child (easily physically overpowered, can’t stop me from hitting them) then suddenly some of those same people would think that beating them for that same mistake would be not only okay but, in fact, a moral imperative. All justifications for why it’s okay to hit children are ultimately fronts for their actual reason, which is simply “i think beating children is okay because I can do it and they can’t stop me”
@staff openly tagging face selfies of trans women as sexual content after you already lost ONE lawsuit over queerphobic moderation is quite a fucking move
Lawsuit (linked here) required tumblr to:
- Train all employees (including subcontractors) on New York City Human Rights Law and unconscious bias, with a focus on sexual orientation and gender identity
- Have humans review user appeals on adult content. Previously they only had humans review post-removal appeals
- Revise the language used in appeal process for users
- Search random sample of previously filed appeals for terms involving sexual orientation and gender identity to identify bias and retrain AI image classifier
- Hire an expert in image classification to remove algorithmic bias around sexual orientation and gender identity and train employees on addressing image classification bias.
- Have an image classification expert complete a evaluation on bias in moderation and steps taken to address it.
- Search filed appeals after new review process in place for terms involving sexual orientation and gender identity to identify bias. Monthly reports of bias will be sent to New York City's Commission on Human Rights for 18 months.
Would be very interested to see these reports on bias as clearly it has not worked!
They also terminated someone's blog that she had for ten years for disputing the report by walking through all the community guidelines that she did not break. They claimed it was a mistake and would be unflagged and instead
1. Her account was terminated
2. The post remains flagged
This isn't a glitch. This isn't a coincidence. This is targeted harrassment.
I’m going to be honest. Zero empathy for formerly trans masculine detransitioners who wax poetic about how testosterone made them sooo ugly and they just weren’t prepared for it and how the evil trans cult destroyed their feminine beauty. That’s not testosterone’s fault, that’s not trans people’s fault. That’s a genetic fault. Take it up with your bald-headed daddy. Get a toupee and get a grip.
Since the strike began on July 21, over 15,000 members have walked out at 43 hotels, including the J.W. Marriott, headquarters for the APSA meeting, where one-third of the conference sessions were to be held. (The rest are scheduled at the LA convention center, whose workers are not on strike.) The APSA has contracts with 10 other hotels to reserve rooms for members at discount rates.
When the strike began, the union sent a letter to APSA Executive Director Steven Smith asking the organization to cancel, postpone, or move the annual meeting, or shift it to an online format.
The union has already persuaded the Japanese American Citizens League, the W.K Kellogg Foundation, the TV show Vanderpump Rules, and the Democratic Governors Association to postpone or move their events. In a full-page ad in the Los Angeles Times, the union also urged singer Taylor Swift to cancel her concerts—scheduled at SoFi stadium in Inglewood, adjacent to LA, from August 3 to August 9—which will bring many tourists to the hotels where workers are on strike. The Federal Reserve recently reported that Swift’s tour significantly raises hotel room rates.
Local 11 hopes that persuading the APSA and Swift to respect picket lines would pressure the hotels—most of them owned by global chains and private equity firms like Starwood Capital and Blackstone–to settle their dispute with the union and sign another three-year contract.
Many political scientists urged the APSA to support the union’s request, but the organization’s elected Executive Council, at an emergency meeting on Friday, July 28, decided by a 19-4 vote to go ahead with the in-person meeting.
“APSA’s decision to move forward with their annual conference in Los Angeles is a gut punch to tens of thousands of workers who are fighting for a living wage,” said Kurt Petersen, copresident of Local 11. “We call on APSA’s Executive Council to rethink their decision and move the entire conference online, as they have done before.”
…
“As political scientists, we spend our lives teaching about democracy and human rights,” observed Gordon Lafer, a University of Oregon professor. “But if, in the real world, we ignore all of that when it is inconvenient, it makes us into hypocrites and hollows out the integrity of what we’re trying to teach students.”
some truly wild takes coming out of academic twitter on this one btw
"solidarity is for the privileged" "we should respect the work by the ASPA to organize the conference" "solidarity with striking hospitality workers is actually ANTI-solidarity against other academics who put in work to prepare for the conference" "think of the impact on people's academic careers" just banger after banger from phds who ostensibly think and teach and write about these sorts of things for a living
“Feel free to share your positive feelings about the film on Twitter after the screening,” said the usher introducing the London press preview screening of Barbie, Greta Gerwig’s Mattel-produced film. The embargo for reviews, however, would not be lifted until two days later, closer to the film’s release. The audience generally didn’t bat an eyelid and it wasn’t the first time my colleagues and I had heard such directives, yet we were left feeling censored: if they won’t allow for our negative reactions, why should they get our positive ones?
The purpose of this strategy barely needs specifying: in addition to the film’s omnipresent marketing campaign, positive reactions on social media were to seal the deal and ensure that the most dubious potential spectators would be persuaded to turn up to the cinema on the opening weekend, the most crucial days for a film’s box office success. The fact that the audience at this preview screening consisted mostly of influencers was another blatant marketing strategy, which would not have been as insulting were it not for the fact that it meant many film critics were unable to see the film before its release. The phenomenon occurred in other cities as well. A few days before the film’s release, Parisian writers were dumbfounded to see some colleagues sharing glowing takes on the film on Twitter, after being told there would be no advance screenings for any of the press. Moreover, what were presented as exclusive interviews with the cast turned out to be prerecorded and pre-approved by the studio. Ahead of its release, the film was to be seen only through pink-tinted glasses.
While it is customary for film studios to try to control the narrative by organising advance screenings if they believe in a film or avoiding them if they don’t, the methods employed for the release of Barbie were more extreme. They are symptomatic of a trend that has been evolving over the past few years and that concerns not only the film criticism profession, but culture at large. If all discussion of a film’s merits before release is left to influencers, whose driving ambition is to receive free merchandise by speaking well of the studio’s products, what can we expect the film landscape to look like? Where will engaging, challenging and, if not completely unbiased then at least impartial conversation about cinema take place, and how is the audience to think critically of what is being sold to it?
not like the plan consisted of going left instead of right and almost getting them cornered!
Fuck it, Urbanism hot take night, none of you bitches actually know what gentrification is
Those dilapidated warehouses being demolished and turned into a restaurant or an apartment complex is not gentrification
No, that man with a metrosexual haircut wearing airpods on the bus is not gentrifying your neighborhood, he is a person, not the American socio-economic landscape
@clearancecreedwatersurvival You'd be surprised how many people fail to grasp this
Like people will see affordable housing being built and say "Gentrification" because it's a 5 over 1 and has modern architecture
@timelineman-of-titors-edge A 5 over 1 is this bitch, the most hated architecture in the nation:
They are incredibly cheap to build apartment buildings with the current building codes. They are called 5 over 1's because they are 5 floors with wooden frames over a concrete base
Shout out to someone finally getting the point of this post
“if he be mr. hyde, i shall be mr. seek” is such a funny line i can’t believe robert louis stevenson actually wrote that in the actual original dr. jekyll and mr. hyde in the actual year of 1885
He stared down the barrel of posterity up in his face point blank and realized he couldn't let anyone else be the first
oh,
oh this is absolutely beautiful
I saw some James Webb Telescope scientists give a talk and one of them said this was her favorite image because she had waited and worked 25 years to see this.
I found photos of those Pallas Cat kittens born this year and bye I'm deceased
why do these kittens have the exact same energy as a nest of baby owls
@curlicuetruth you are very right
Anyone else notice how in a lot of the “self-care isn’t X, it’s Y” posts, X is always something that is genuinely helpful to some disabled people, and Y is often, like, shit you’d hear at a corporate wellness seminar? Or on a productivity-hacks-to-make-sure-you’ve-got-time-for-your-side-hustle-on-top-of-your-full-time-job podcast?
Like, I have really bad executive functioning issues and sensory issues. So, when someone’s like “self-care isn’t eating frozen pizza/ordering take away, it’s meal prepping” I’m like, cool, but what if the only meal prep you’ve got left takes more spoons to reheat than you’ve got? What if your sensory issues are really bad today, and you can’t stomach the stuff you’ve got prepped?
At that point, frozen pizza or ordering in is self-care because self-care is making sure I can eat at all.
Or, like, “self-care isn’t buying fancy skincare products, it’s doing a daily meditation and yoga practice”.
Like, I see fancy skincare products used as a target a lot, despite the fact that sometimes you genuinely are paying for quality. Like, the only make-up remover that doesn’t upset my psoriasis is from Clinique, and, like, my instinct is to go “that’s too expensive” and not buy it, but the self-care choice for me is to actually find that room in my budget and buy the damn products because I have to wear make-up for work and this saves my skin.
And I also do yoga and meditation, and I like them and do find them helpful.
You know who else likes that I do them? Every corporate wellness goon in existence because it makes me a more productive worker.
That’s not why I do it, but I do wonder what the motivation is when people are recommending it over other forms of self-care.
And, like, don’t get me wrong, I get it. There are people who use “self-care” when they are specifically just looking to shirk responsibilities, and it has been co-opted to mean “buy stuff” in some cases, but blanket statements of “X is never self-care” very often just end up making disabled people who do need X feel like shit. And, you know, unfortunately, we do live under capitalism, under which there is no ethical consumption. Sometimes we do need to buy shit. So, I’m not really here for the idea that any self-care that requires a purchase, no matter how small, isn’t really self-care, because that’s not how society works. Yes, it’s shit that it’s been co-opted, but spending £25 on a new keyboard because you’ve got arthritis and would like to not be in as much pain is still self-care, even if a purchase was made.
Reblogging (with slight edits to remove the name of a shop that I used to use before they donated to a transphobic charity) because my roommate who usually cooks is going out tonight, and I had my first meeting at my new job, followed by hours of training this afternoon, so my choices are to order in food, just snack all evening, or not eat at all.
And then I saw a post about how ordering in isn’t self-care and I’m just like [internal screaming]
Ultimately, self care is not letting internet randos tell you what self care is and isn’t
I think a lot of the people shouting about how “eat your vegetables” self care is the only real type are people who got trapped in downward spirals when they tried to rely on “eat cake” self care, but that doesn’t mean the “eat your vegetables” approach is sufficient on its own. (In fact, it can lead to downward spirals too. The amazingly sucky thing about self care is that basically all acts that you intended as self care can backfire and it takes years of learning yourself to figure out what works when for you specifically.)
Yeah, that’s a better and more expansive words for what I was thinking
The thing tuesdayisfordancing said; you’ve gotta work out what works for you and not let the internet tell you you’re wrong about that (but you can let other people’s experiences make you think about and maybe try things)
I think a lot of the this isn’t self care this is stuff comes from people who’ve realised they were wrong about themselves but not that everyone isn’t the same as them, although yeah it’s pretty suss that it’s often a bit more Prestige and Productive (but that could be an artefact of eg things that resonate with the ‘mostly able person who gets down sometimes’ getting shared more than stuff that resonates with the ‘no kidding daily living impaired’ crowd, as a numbers thing or a prestige thing or both)
Yeah, this is all definitely true, but definitely that last point about the fact that most of this is coming from mostly able people who get down sometimes.
They’re the ones I see most often peddling “self-care has become nothing more than a marketing term to get you to feel less bad about being a consumer and anything that doesn’t work for me labelled ‘self-care’ is a scam” seem to mostly be able-bodied and neurotypical - obvs I don’t know them irl and people don’t always talk about everything in their life, but they’ve never said that they’re not - and they just never seem to think about disability when they say “this will never work for anyone”.
But yeah, disabled people also aren’t immune to this. I think especially for those of us with disabilities that come and go in difficulty, it can be easy when we’re in a good patch to be really harsh on our past-selves who were in a bad patch in some real hot-cold empathy gap bs, and to retroactively assume that the things we labelled “self-care” at the time were actually unnecessary. And to think that we’ll never be in that bad of a place again, so we think “wow, buying all that fast food was terrible for me, I was just being lazy” and not “hmm, this is likely to happen again, which non-fast-food restaurants will deliver sensory-safe food to me for cheap, or if none will, maybe I should start putting money away for the next time this happens, so that I can get the more expensive delivery.”
Reblogging because I saw a particularly bad example floating around earlier where I’m sure the advice would be helpful to some people, but would be bad, if not outright dangerous for a lot of autistic people
Remember, pushing yourself to the point of a meltdown is not and will never be self-care
#i thinks I reblogt that self care post op was talking about#and it’s true that crying while doing the dishes post is good advice for some depressed people#bc you sometimes have to get back going even when it hurts#but it can be very bad edvice for autistic or otherwise disabled people#i think thats a complicated discussion#like one person self care can be another persons self neglect#and also self care can look different for you day to day and is really personal tags via @isthishowyouuseablog
Yeah, it was that post, and I agree it’s super tricky, mostly because with depression and autism, they can often look nearly identical, but the approach you need to take to tackling them without making things worse is often the exact opposite, so it’s really easy for vague self-care posts that are actually aimed at people with depression to advise stuff that would be actively harmful to autistic people
And, tbh, ignoring your body’s warning signs that things are wrong is horrible advice for most disabilities outside of depression and anxiety
Like, if doing the dishes has brought me to tears, the reason why isn’t going to be “I just needed a cry”, it’s going to be
A) I hulk-smashed through an executive functioning wall, which isn’t a sustainable practice, and I probably needed to either wait to do the job when my ADHD meds had kicked in, or when my brain had finished processing the task
B) I pushed through sensory difficulties with the task to the point of meltdown, and I probably needed to slow down and ask questions like “could I handle this task with gloves on?” or “could I handle at least filling the sink with hot water and soap and letting the dishes soak for now?” before tackling it
or C) I hadn’t noticed that my joints in my hands were fucked and I actually needed to take painkillers before tackling the task
And the actual long-term self-care option would actually be “I need to stop renting places without a dishwasher”
So, it’s like, on the one hand, I don’t want to be all “this general advice is bad because it doesn’t apply to my very specific circumstances”, but on the other, “just push through it” is kind of the mainstream advice pushed on disabled people and a lot of disabled people aren’t actually given good advice on how to manage their disabilities, so “self-care is pushing through something even if it’s causing you distress” is actually advice that a lot of disabled people might take onboard, even if it’s bad for them
I completely agree with what you said.
Do you think is would be good practice to put disclaimers befor generic self care posts? For example “when you have depression sometimes you have to push yourself even though is hurt’s” instant of “sometimes you have to push yourself even tho it hurts” so that people have some guidance if the should apply the post to their lives.
I think these advice posts are helpful to a lot of people to get new strategies for their mental health. because therapy can often be hard to access. I also think that otherwise abeld mentally ill people sometimes forget that what’s good advice for us can be harmful to disabled people, and to be mindful of that when we give each other advice over the internet.
I mean, to be fair, the “sometimes you have to push yourself even though it hurts” wording probably wouldn’t have bothered me on its own, it’s that the post used the “self-care is X, not Y” wording
Like, they said “self-care is often X, not Y” but the meaning was still there, and it treats “self-care” as synonymous with “being productive and getting back on your feet as someone with depression” and not “making space for your own needs so that you can survive in a system not designed for you”
Sometimes the need you need to make space for is cleaning up your space - I literally just swapped the washing over despite really bad cramp and being between painkillers because I needed to hang it out to dry and gentle movement is supposed to help - but sometimes it is using a bath bomb because you need to bribe yourself to get clean, or ordering take away because your executive functioning is bad enough that you fear hurting yourself if you try to go near the stove, or staying in pyjamas because it’s the best sensory option
aquariums would get sooo much more money if they stopped making all the plushies just sharks and seals and turtles. you can do better. show me the sturgeon. the coelacanth. the trout