Condom machines off for the royal period of mourning💔💔💔
girls be like “im fighting demons” and the demon is a degree they chose for themselves
hey (with the intentions to assemble all of your ikea furniture for fun while you drink a glass of wine and admire me)
Hate to praise Call of Duty for anything but the new proximity voice chat that lets you talk to your opponents when they’re nearby is an absolute game changer. Every time I enter a building and hear a team chatting with each other somewhere inside I yell “hey coward why don’t you get out here and kiss me on the fucking lips”
vengabus sandstorm
gusman-69
wow that really sounds
wow that really sounds
mrspider-deactivated20221213
Anonymous asked:
Id fuck tigress from king fu panda
but would she fuck you? humble yourself
Love that you can see the exact moment that Enlightenment™ occurs for this little dude. Good job, you did it.
Right there
me and the homies having good dental hygiene with the nine inch nails tooth brush
i wanna brush you like an enamel
I don’t know how to describe it but this is exactly what paleontologists are supposed to look like
his shirt looks like a colorblindness test
I know i called you bro but im kinda in love with you
A brief insight into a world where animals vocalize like Pokémon:
Patient: “What’s wrong with me?”
Doctor: “Well let’s take a listen.”
Muffled voice from inside patient: “Tapeworm”