Sorry I was speeding, officer. I was listening to Mumford and Sons and the banjo solo came on.

my life can be most accurately described by the sound a wet sponge makes when you throw it on the floor

best pickup line of our generation

TV: here’s a 22 minute episode of a tv show you like Me: ehhhh Youtube: here’s a feature film length video discussing a game you haven’t played Me:

Henry Cavill implying he has sex for his cardio workout

airing our dirty laundry on tv… rude

Let’s do cardio

Ok but imagine doing cardio with him….like bitch how you even survive that?

me

sometimes, im that friend lol

I am still amazed that this is just something we do like it’s genetically coded

i dONT WANT TO BE RUDE AND MAKE THE DRIVERS WAIT

My brother decided to teach his two and a half year old that Mommy and Daddy have names and there is nothing funnier than seeing a cranky toddler turn to his mom and say ‘leave me alone, Meredith.’

a clownboy (half clown, half cowboy) says yeehonk

this is it. the worst post i’ve ever seen. my own two eyes are cursed

Feather stars are the closest thing we have to walking plants. Via here

Reason 1 million why the ocean will always be terrifying to me.

Fucking superb you funky little plant fish

Hard nope from me.

Where is it, how big is it and what’ll happen if I pet it?