having adhd is like "fuck, it's half past noon. that pretty much means it's one o'clock. that means it's lunchtime. that means it's pretty much three. that means it's almost five o'clock, and that means the day is pretty much over and i don't have time for any of the things i was going to do today :( time to scroll aimlessly through social media until bedtime"

Dolphins doing cartwheels with an aquarium guest.

(via Ant.Giovanni)

I'm loving this new trend of people going to zoos and participating in animal enrichment. We use to observe large exotic animals for our entertainment, but the fact is that we are now trying to make ourselves equally as entertaining for them. It's interactive, completely parpicipatory and I would argue that eventually someone's gonna come up with something new enough that it expland ethologists understanding about how some animals think, problem solve, communicate and feel and I think its fantastic.

Human: play?

Aquatic creature from an entirely different branch of the animal tree: play!

"some reason" :^)

Three Mile Island, Chernobyl, Fukushima If you can GUARANTEE that nothing even APPROACHING those could EVER happen under ANY circumstances Then I will fold to Nuclear Power

NO ONE DIED

NO ONE DIED

essentially a human-made accident through gross mismanagement and neglect, that physically can't happen with other reactor types (in part because they all have containment buildings now). so yes we can guarantee that nothing even approaching chernobyl will ever happen with modern reactors.

even so chernobyl still killed fewer people than the German Atomausstieg has through increased air pollution because of additional coal being burnt

welcome to team uranium!

Love people using 3 mile island as an example. 3 mile island is an example of where things WORKED, that the failsafes kicked in so only a miniscule amount of radiation was released, which not only didnt kill anyone, but no one was injured, no adverse health effects were caused, and there was no damage to the surrounding environment. Despite the incident, the other reactor continued to run until 2019!

And again: the point isn't "do you prefer renewables or nuclear". The point is "everyone fighting againsy nuclear power has further entrenched coal and oil power and caused a LOT more damage to the environment"

ok..

Death Grips is online

update: the concert has happened and someone posted a livestream, saving the subreddit. however

there is no easter bunny. there is no tooth fairy. and there is no python script to ban everyone from /r/deathgrips

There was a genuine problem (or “problem”) with the early English colonists where some colonists would see how the native people lived and go, Why the hell am I starving in this repressive Puritan community like a sucker when those people have shit figured out? and run off to join up with the native people.

So part of the reason for the “mystery” of the lost colony was that the colonizers didn’t want people to know that English people could voluntarily join forces with the locals and quite often be welcomed by them.

From the wikipedia page on Roanoke Colony

i really like memes like this. they are truthful, and there is a cat involved. just a big fan all around.

here’s some more i’ve gathered since making this post btw.

of the sort

In fifth grade a boy tried to impress me by swallowing a whole tadpole live and I punched him so hard that he puked and the tadpole was fine.

I kept it in a terrarium and it became a normal 🐸 despite everything. About a year afterward (I thought) it died, so I sadly put it in a shoebox in the shed until the ground thawed enough for a proper funeral but when that day came I opened the box and the frog was fine.

This is funnier than anything I have ever said.

This post is to Easter what a Geiger counter is to radiation.

I love her so much

Best sticker

Freakin’ awesome. We live in anaheim so our boys got to enjoy the all-access Disneyland Daily pass. Our youngest (Tanner) wanted to be an officer. Unfortunately he was too small for the restraints on splash mountain so when the coaster sped up it flung him out and he skidded about 200 feet on the asphalt. Here’s what we’re keeping him in right now:

Disney won’t let us bury on park grounds because of a potential copyright issue with the superman thing.

We miss him a lot, but there’s a cancellation fee on the Daily pass, so we’ve been making the most of it. His brother still enjoys the park and since we chose not to press charges, we’re entitled to one free mickey pancake a day

??? Reading that looked like you tried to copy abd paste 3 differint stories together to make us not realise you just copied and pasted??

First of all: splash mountain is a water log ride. There are no places where it just…speeds…up? Its a fucking water log ride???

BECAUSE its a water log ride it DOESNT HAVE RESTRAINTS….it DOES however have a minimum height requirment of 46 inches to ride the ride, so EVEN IF this kid was too small, they WOULD NOT let them ride.

There is no asphault anywhere near the track itself. The CLOSEST you could come is the big drop at rhe end but again, minimum height requirement of 46 inches tall to ride, the angle of the drop and the speed at which you go it is physically impossible to get ‘launched’.

I feel like this is obvious but theres so much obviously wrong about the second addition i suppose i need to state this.

SUPERMAN. ISNT. DISNEY. Superman is DC. The only theme parks that have licenced DC character based rides is six flags.

Six flags, another park that HAS MINIMUM HEIGHT REQUIREMENTS for rides.

That has restraints on rides in which are necesary. Which again, YOU CANNOT RIDE IF YOU DO NOT MEET THE SAFETY GUILDLINES.

Go try to shitpost and ruin the reputation of a differint park, will you? At least make sure your story is even plausable before you open your mis-informed mouth.

@crabwalker​ Are you seriously explaining to me how Splash Mountain works? Do you think I don’t remember how my son died? Oh, and it’s “physically impossible to get launched?” Guess what, asshole? My SON got launched. This is the last photo we have of him.

You’ve said some cruel things to me, but I’m going to be the bigger person. I’ll be praying, for your sake, that nobody in your family ever gets launched.

That photo is based off of a meme of this lady looking pissed. That and I can’t find an incident based off of what you posted. Shut the fuck up.

Why did you photoshop tanner out of that picture?

sad that there are still ignorant tanner denialists out there

@under-palemoonlight

i’m gonna be honest i didn’t even read the tweet because i had to hit reblog too fast when i saw this guy’s name is “i like hitting police because i am homosexual”

someone: and i’m a virgo, which means i’m way more organized ^__^

me who’s only experience with virgos is that they chainsaw men in half: yeah okay

aren't gorillas gentle giants or something. i stay out of his way, he doesn't maul me, we have a nice time picking out clothes together in opposite sides of the mall

Male gorillas are super aggressive and territorial. Also they interpret nearly every human mannerism as a sign of aggression or a challenge. Smiling and eye contact are both things that zookeepers have to be taught to suppress when they’re in the vicinity of gorillas.

Well unless the mall is his native territory I think I'm fine, I wasn't planning on smiling at him

This is all irrelevant because the obvious answer is five black mambas. I mean, that’s not actually very many snakes, and malls are fucking huge. And unlike a gorilla you can definitely outrun a snake if it does show up. Find an open space in the mall where you can see any snake coming and just hangout out there. Fucking easy.

Misguided! I would much rather have a mallmate I can easily see and hear coming. I'm confident I can stay out of the gorilla's way, but if I step on a snake or one otherwise gets the jump on me, it's all over.

It's not just about the physical danger either, it's about my mental health. One gorilla, unless he's actively mad at me, I just keep a healthy distance between us and make sure I never get trapped. With the snakes, it requires a lot more constant vigilance

They should substitute "chimpanzee" for "gorilla" in this hypothetical.

if it was a chimp i'm taking the fucking snakes

Black mambas have a reputation build on being very venomous and very fast. I'm not sure why you would think you could outrun one (or five) in an enclosed space like a mall.

Malls usually have pretty slick floors, and escalators. I’d choose the gorilla simply because I think that would make an more interesting story (and a better-selling autobiography, I Survived the Mall Gorilla) but I think I’d stand a pretty good chance at avoiding the mamba. They’re fast and aggressive and will chase you but unless we started immediately beside each other I think my sneakers would have the terrain advantage over scutes.

this is too good to leave hidden in the replies

fucking enamored with the implication that this gorilla is fully intelligent but is trying to manufacture plausible deniability like the movie barnyard

"normal guy in an really weird place just chilling" and "weird thing or creature in a really normal place confused as hell" are both extremely funny concepts to me

this is peak comedy to me

Astronomy I-

Archaeology: it is mandatory, it is ritualic.

Fun fact about archeology!

if it's a rock and you lick it, your tongue got a little dirty.

If it's a bone, it sticks to your tongue.

Bones remember being inside a body where they could be wet all the time, and they want to return to that state.

Cheers science side of Tumblr. Never say that again though

TIL that NASA has been launching jellyfish into space since the 90’s. Originally 2,478 were sent up and there were 60,000 orbiting Earth by the mission’s end 20 years later. The jellyfish that have returned reportedly ‘hate life on Earth.’

via reddit.com

Go you want to birth an Eldridge horror? This is how you birth an Eldridge horror

I want to know how they decided that they hate life on earth

I mean, who doesn’t

The “jellyfish that have returned” are the offspring of the ones sent up; they “hate life on Earth” because they were born into a world without gravity - no direction, different kinds of pressure, so when they return they have trouble adapting and (according to the Read More in the source) “Jellyfish babies, at least, have to deal with massive vertigo on Earth after spending their first few days in space,” which you can tell because you can measure how disoriented a jellyfish is compared with norma behavior. TL;DR your cthulu is an infant with a migraine

I have SO MANY questions, re:the jellyfish space habitat.

I mean I guess it’s probably just an airtight aquarium on board the ISS, but I read it the first several times as the jellyfish were just floating in open space.

tbh when I read “NASA has been launching jellyfish into space for years” my initial mental image was just NASA with a giant slingshot flinging jellyfish after jellyfish into the void 

i hope this evil reaches you well.

EMAIL . I HOPE THIS EMAIL REACHES YOU WELL.

POCKET SAND

(っ｀Д´)っ･:∴ (ﾟДﾟ#)

o-OK!

ok.