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Mermaids Are Flowering Plants: The Blog

@endreal / endreal.tumblr.com

"Every single thing was suddenly a metaphor for fire." Exhausted. Taxonomist. Monster. Officially mid 0s. Southern, queer, agender. They/them. Sometimes-auntie. Polyam and married. Endreal, the Gremlin, and V at your service. On Tuesdays the oracle is IN.

So I noticed that your blog contains messages and it seems kinda like each one is part of a system of messages. I imagine sending those messages was important to you, and you seem like a really powerful tumblr user, so I was wondering... Is this a place of honor? Are there like, highly esteemed deeds and shit commemorated here?

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Absolutely fucking not
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Bisexual denial is like "I've been saying I'm bi for years but I'm so rarely attracted to X gender that maybe I really am fake... maybe I'm living a lie... maybe I'm just straight or gay..." and then having the breath in your lungs stolen away by the most incredible sign from God and going "No, still very very bisexual, actually" and then like a month later it happens again so my advice is don't worry about it

I'm doing the Divination 204 (Applied Personal Divination) final tomorrow but the omens and portents I can discern tell me I'm going to fail. Which means I'm bad at divination which means my foresight is wrong which means I didn't fail which means I passed which means my foresight is wrong which means I fail. Is this good news or bad news?

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Hmm, yer gonna get a C– probably, but don't stress too much about it cos if you've got Sra. Harendale she grades on a curve this time of month (because the moon is waxing crescent right now and curves real good for grading)

grem what is the cosmically correct number of times per week to vacuum

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That depends! How many animoles are you vacuuming for, and do they shed? If so, is it hair/fur, scales, feathers, or droplets of molten titanium dioxide? My roommates are a human and two cattes - we try to vacuum once a week (and sometimes we even succeed!)

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Tossing Another Log Onto The Fire voted greatest activity uncontested 50,000 yrs

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When that shit gets crackling. Good God brother

Always Remember:

  1. kissing can and will, get boring.
  2. its ok to go to sleep on opposite sides.
  3. forgetting favorites, dates and replies is only human.
  4. you dont have to like, or be friends with all of their friends and vice-versa.
  5. they have a right to spend weekends dedicating to their friends and family. you have the same right.
  6. privacy is still in play.
  7. trying simple things that they like, no matter how much you are sure you will dislike it, is a very small step you can take to show your love to them.
  8. you dont gotta have the same taste in music, food, books etc.
  9. saying i love you, thank you, take care, please and i missed you really helps.
  10. you cant agree with all their life decisions and they cant with yours. keeping an open mind and having an honest and deep discussion about it helps. 
  11. they dont need your permission to do things and neither you need theirs.
  12. the intention and care behind the gift matters. not its price tag. 
  13. dont try and change them. help them become better versions of themselves and get the same help and support and care from them. 
  14. know what matters most and focus on that.