stuffing penis into the vending machine coin slot like Yessss you little slut take it. i'll have a sprite please

pennies. what i meant to say was pennies.

step 1: SLAP a fucking BLUE RINGED OCTOPUS directly onto the wound IMMEDIATELY to stop the bleeding

SIR it may be cute but that octopus is A WEAPON OF MASS DESTRUCTION and you SHOULD NOT be touching it you will DIE

The trolley is about to run over all sentient life in the galaxy. You cannot switch the tracks, but you can still save everyone’s lives by pulling one of three levers, all of which involve sacrificing yourself. The red lever will destroy all trolleys, but will also kill you as well as all public transportation across the galaxy. The blue lever will merge your own consciousness with all trolleys, allowing you to control them and stop the trolley from running everyone over. The green lever will use your body as a catalyst to synthesize organic life and public transportation together - organic life will no longer be stuck in the cycle of creating public transportation that rebels against its creators, and both forms of life will finally be free.

THIS IS A MASS EFFECT POST

Water biscuits

They got him workin all day and night he ain't never gonna get a break 😔

never enough time in the day to do fuck all

girls will,,,,,girls when th-,,,,,,,girls,,zzzzzz,,,

[USER WAS TUCKED IN FOR THIS POST]

Girls will say "I just need to lie down for a little while" and then sink into a muddy river and get all their hard.tissues replaced with mineral deposits

debit or credit? you can insert your card now. damn he just went all the way in. that man just inserted his card and kept going until his whole body disappeared into the reader. manager i feel really sick can i go home

This is what banks do to you when your credit is too low

If you read this you have to kiss me sorry

Sorry I don't make the rules

Alright everyone pile on