Most unrealistic thing about the Barbie movie is that Ken could read

reposting this with white pearl's canondesign, she's so pretty i cry

this tweet is making me choke to death

Conservatives hate barbie for three reasons.

1) It's about women and womanhood and identity and self and the Other and as any conservative will tell you, these things are not to be discussed Ever

2) it's colorful and fun and god knows they cannot stand people having fun

3) it's pink. no conservative can watch barbie without being inflicted with feminine and nonbinary and asexual energy, and it does + 20 damage to them.

But I for one draw energy from their tears.

So keep it coming.

That tear fuel.

white pearl and black pearl 🐚

Neuvillette’s c7 unlocks a new hidden talent

Transcribed:

[“I guess these fish really only appear during rain”

“Wait I might have an idea…”

“Sir Neuvillette, just for a moment could you think about sad little otters

Thank you sir”]

first meeting

how do conservatives think talking to children works? if a four year old came up to me and said “i’m a cat!!” i would say “really? what makes you a cat?” and they’d say some shit like “i have claws >:)” and i’d be like “oh wow, you do have claws. but wait, i thought cats had pointed ears!” and they’d say “they DO!!!” and then i’d pull up a picture of an elf and ask “is THIS a cat?” and they’d yell “NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO”

u wouldn’t say “fucking hell, Emily, get it together. this is the real world”

THIS IS CINEMA

and if i said this was the best poster yet?

rip all the parents who didn’t check the rating of barbie and took their slightly too young children to a pg-13 movie and now need to explain what a gynecologist is to their kids

In retrospect, the funniest bit about the Barbie movie has to be that what kickstarted the whole plot was that a human was "playing wrong" with a Barbie. My Barbies were at war with the Playmobils until both sides discovered that the conflict had been secretly instigated by a bunch of dinosaurs that wanted to distract them so they could eat them. I play acted an Emmy-worthy soap opera that went on for months about shapeshifting Barbies from another dimension that featured every trope of a book I didn't even know existed. At some point I came up with a story where my Barbies realized they were toys and became aware of my presence so they secretly plotted ways to defeat me. If a human giving Barbie cellulitis did that to Barbieland, I don't want to know what my Barbieland looks like

no listen. listen. when gloria doodles “thoughts of death Barbie” and “cellulite Barbie” and Barbie gets thoughts of death and cellulite. then when Barbie doesn’t think she can just be Barbie anymore and gloria tells Mattel about her idea for “ordinary Barbie” and when Barbie realizes she wants to be human do you. do you understand what i’m saying do you