Brick's Going on Vacation

Just a quick heads up that the shop will be closed from July 10th - July 17th.

The first few days of my vacation I'm going to be doing inventory. Yay :) . Basically the number of items has gotten out of control so I'm going to see what we got and try to get the catalog back under control. Don't be surprised if you see some items missing when I get back. For the rest of the time I'm going to the annual convention of the National Association of Watch & Clock Collectors, Inc. I love old mechanical things so this seemed like fun to me. The nice thing is it's a vacation for you too as during this time there won't be any posts on the Emporium or merch ads. It will be like the merch shop doesn't exist for a week, you're welcome :) . The store should be reopened on the 18th unless I decide to not come home and flee to Japan instead. I'll let you know.

🌴 Emporium Summer Sale 🌴

Brick is going on vacation so the shop will be closed from July 10th - July 17th. During his absence the crabs are taking the opportunity to get rid of some slow selling products. It's your last chance to get any of these products before they are gone forever.

Sale is Over. Thanks to Everyone who purchased something.

Products we are saying goodbye to:

Bringing Babylonian Back

Do you know what you folks did? With your excitement over the Ea-Nasir merch you got a large corporation to release a digital product in Akkadian cuneiform.

You brought a language back from the dead that dates back to 2500 BC. How cool is that? It's days like today that remind me why I like hanging out with you fine folks. Even if you don't want the badge you gotta admit that this is pretty cool.

Graphic Design is my Passion Bucket Hat • $25.00

Is graphic design your passion? Than you need this hat.

P.S. If you’re looking for the frog I got something even better, a tumbeast.

Who made these?

The Flying Cow Shirt Co. is a local custom apparel business based in Columbia, MO, dedicated to serving our community. Our clientele includes fellow local businesses, educational institutions, various organizations, and individuals, all of whom rely on us for outstanding design services and quick turnaround times. In addition to our printing services, we offer unique fundraising opportunities through custom online stores. Through these stores, we have generated thousands of dollars in funds, which are then either donated to charitable causes or allocated to support local organizations. By doing so, we contribute to the sustainability and growth of these organizations, empowering them to continue making a positive impact on our community!

Phone Cases

What do you all think about phone cases? I can get them made up pretty affordably and they look really great. Is this a product type worth experimenting with?

Does Tumblr Still Exist Keychain • $6.00 $4.00

Other social media platforms have come and gone but tumblr is still here. Celebrate the enduring legacy of tumblr with this keychain.

Colour of the Sky Socks • $10.00 – $14.00

Do you love the color of the sky? What about warm feet? I have the perfect product for you: these cozy socks!

Give Me My Money Back Ea-Nasir 20oz Tumbler • $20.00

Drink like an ancient Babylonian with this tumbler.

About the Translation

For the translation I went and hired an expert on Ancient Semitic Languages and Cultures. There aren’t as many as you’d think that are willing to translate text for an internet gag so I’m so happy I found Paul.

Tumblr Frog Stud Earrings • $18.00

Handmade with love and polymer clay, these cuties are sure to be your new favorite earrings. Each set comes with four frogs allowing you to mix and match your favorite colors.

While clay earrings are durable and made to last, please keep them away from water, and put them on after applying makeup and perfume to avoid staining or discoloration.

These stud earrings are handmade by The Goode Karma Co. in collaboration with Tumblr.

100% of all profits will be donated to the Trevor Project with a matching donation by Nick (the annoying tumblr merch guy).

Tumblr Bumper Stickers

I traded my buddy @mattcolewilson a Pokemon 2DS XL for some design work. He came up with these concepts and I thought we haven't done a poll in a while why not put it to a vote.

Bucket Hats Take 2

Thank you for all your feedback over here. I think we have a better idea now that I hope you'll like. Upon your suggestion we pivoted to a different meme, the Graphic Design is My Passion meme. I agree it fits better and is looks ridiculous but in a good way. What do you think? Should I order some?

Goncharov 20oz Tumbler • $20.00

There is something so comforting about your favorite movie. A movie that you can watch over and over again and never get tired of. Celebrate your favorite movie (Goncharov) with this tumbler.

Special Thanks

Thank you to the people in this thread who gave feedback and turned my meh idea into something much better.

Behind the Meme: Complaint Tablet to Ea-nasir

In 1953, explorer Sir Leonard Woolley discovered and acquired the tablet from what is believed to be the ruins of Ea-nasir's home while on an expedition to the city of Ur. Several other similar tablets complaining about poor copper quality were also recovered, suggesting Ea-nasir frequently sent his customers poor-quality goods. The tablet is currently held at the British Museum.

Bucket Hats???????

I've been talking with Olivia (a very passionate tumblr user) about collaborating with The Flying Cow Shirt Co. (the company she works for), a small business out of Columbia, Missouri. They put together a proposal for me to look at but I only got to item 1 and got so excited I just said let's make those. That item was a sky colored bucket hat that says "do you love the color of the sky?". Since I've learned my lesson and things made with the community are way better than things I make by myself I thought I'd show you what we got and see what you thought. Edit: New mockup incoming. I agree the graphic design is my passion is a better meme for this hat.

What if we made Akkadian Cuneiform checkmark badges?

It would be so dumb, so absolutely silly that just thinking about it makes me chuckle. There are also some challenges to launching something like this.

But besides all those issues I still want to do it. What do you think? Is is stupid or stupid good?

Tumblr Logo Earrings • $12.00

You aren’t going to find these earrings anywhere else. Seriously, who would be crazy enough to make them. They started their life as a request from a co-worker but turned into a real product that you can actually buy thanks to my mom.

About Maker

Normally this would be a weird situation but this is tumblr, anything goes. These earrings are handmade by my mother. She retired from teaching high school chemistry and needed something to do so I bought her a Glowforge and the things she creates make me equal parts proud and jealous. Her passion is earrings and I had to talk her into making some for me as I might have scared her a bit with stories about my tumblr experience, but she finally agreed.

All income she earns from these earrings will go towards feeding her little glutton of a puppy, Izzi, who is equal parts adorable and picky about what she’ll eat.

Edit: Added Puppy Pic

Down a Rabbit Hole I Went

I screwed up. I didn't think that using an ancient language on a piece of tumblr merch was necessary but I forgot what site I was on :) . This is tumblr, of course it has to be in linguistically accurate cuneiform. I went and hired an expert on Ancient Semitic Languages and Cultures. There aren't as many as you'd think that are willing to translate text for an internet gag so I'm so happy I found Paul.

Notes on the translation from the translator:

I used the ventive suffix on the imperative "give (rib+am)" which is a special feature of Akkadian that indicates the motion of direction. It makes it a little bit more authentic. The longer version actually includes the words "to me (ana iasim)", but a typical Akkadian speaker probably wouldn't have needed to say that.

Also, for the word "money" I used the Sumerian (KUG.BABBAR) instead of spelling out the Akkadian, because that was a common feature in Akkadian scribal writing. For the font I was happily surprised that Google has a Cuneiform font, so not only is it correct but it looks pretty neat too. Right now you can buy both versions in the shop but cuneiform version won't ship for a week or so as I have to order new stock with the new design.

Tumblr Frog Earrings

Edit: They brightened up a bit in the sun. What do you think about this color now? Charlotte was so excited she went into full production mode. Last night the fantastic Charlotte from The Goode Karma Co came to me with an idea for these earrings. She sent me the idea at 9pm and by 1am she already had the prototypes made. I think they look so cool and we were thinking of selling them as a set of four that you can mix and match. Is this something you'd like to see in the shop? There are well-founded concerns about companies taking advantage of Pride month to make money and I wasn't going to launch anything this month due to those concerns but I had an idea that I hope would belay those fears. Tumblr will donate 100% of the profits from these to the Trevor Project. I'll provide complete transparency with screenshots and such on how many we sells and the donations we make. Users have also expressed concerns that I'm a character created by a corporation or that I'm a master manipulator who is just trying to get a sale. I'd love for people to know that I'm just a regular person who is being himself on the only site he feels comfortable doing so. Since talk is cheap in addition to the donation tumblr will be making, I'm pledging to match every donation the company makes. By that I mean me, Nick (last name omitted, don't want to get swatted :) ), will take my own money and match any donations that Tumblr makes. I bet you're skeptical, people lie all the time on the internet. You're right to be skeptical but I'm serious and to prove it I made an advance donation of $500 (which was matched by Jimmy Choo, lululemon, and NASCAR as part of a Pride month promotion) as a down payment on my matching pledge (proof below with what I hope is enough personal information redacted).

I want to make sure people know that tumblr is a safe place. It’s a place where you can go to be yourself, share your passions and take a breather from life. I support people being themselves, in whatever form that takes. You do you and let everyone else worry about themselves.

I’m an old straight white male. I have no idea of the struggles many of you go through, I won’t pretend I do. I may not know the right things to say or do but I do know that I support you, all of you unconditionally. I want you to educate me, I want you to rely on me, I want you to help me get rid of anyone who is making others here feel unsafe, unwanted or just simple bad about themselves. My asks are open (even anon), as well as my DMs.

I had a weird idea today. Thought I'd post it and see what you all think.

Edit: I updated the mockup with the new quote.

Tumblr Earrings Poll

So here are the options. We tried them out in three size options and three different findings colors. We have gold, silver and copper. The largest size is the 1 5/8 that I showed you before and two smaller options. I didn't want to make it an actual poll as that's kind of limiting in this situation so just reply to which option you like the best.