i just spoke to a 4 year old who has a phone. a real working phone. with data and everything. who she gon call? elmo aint got minutes 

candles are how we keep fires as pets

this is unnecessarily adorable

the ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ has only been actually typed once by a single person, everyone else who has ever used it has just googled “shrug emoji” and copy-pasted it

kfc doesn’t even have to try anymore they’re just like come get your fucking bucket of fat you piece of shit

suspended stone circle(s) ~ ken unsworth

say it with me now..

2018 Goals

Since last week I’ve been getting extra money at work for free

Yo Canada, quick question. Why is your money see through?!?

so we can shine a laser pointer through the window and see the value amount projected afar as added protection from forgeries

Yo USA, why the FUCK are we still using fragile scraps of linen like fucking animals when we could have fucking Laser Show Dollars instead?

I want to move to Canada just because their money is so cool

Look at that snatched waist and sock bun. She’d do numbers on Instagram

this website was a mistake