“first time being in petsmart and he was terrified 🤣🤣🤣 ”

casual intimacy kills me every time. grand gestures are cute and all but seeing two people who are just totally comfortable with having each other in their space, who dont think twice about leaning into each other and thoughtlessly holding each other while doing unrelated things….. thats love

hey if ur ever feelin shitty use this

Holy shit I’m trying not to cry.

i really needed this one tonight

omfg

Do it!!!

I need to cry

EVERYONE DO IT

I fully expected to be Rick rolled and I was instead very, very pleased

DO IT

@fairyfairypie @fadeslikewhispers @tobilovesturtles

this is so pure

when they say simpons did it already

they’re not fucking kidding

why dont we ever talk about how movies condition girls to associate glasses and curly hair with ugliness because that is so fucking damaging to young girls who grow up seeing girls who look like them always be the “before” of every makeover

read this post. read it again. read it two more times. read it aloud. i want this to be ingrained into peoples’ minds

I can’t believe they oblitered straight men like that

(Facebook: It’s Okay To Be Childfree)

“Congratulations - you just made a conversation about salad and hamburgers about the struggle of childbirth.”

TBH Parentfriends, I’m probably tired of looking at pictures of your kid every other day, so I just hid you from my Newsfeed, because what’s important to you isn’t all that important to me. Sorry, not sorry, no one’s feelings got hurt.

But if you start mommyjacking my posts, I will 100% make you cry into your keyboard.

#how unsatisfied are these people with parenthood that they have to validate themselves like this

http://iglovequotes.net/

even with those four numbers there are countless possible combinations good luck with figuring out which one is the right one you punk

*straightens calculator*

It’s pretty likely that it’s a four digit number, and as there are four digits chosen there, that means that there cannot be any repetition. This mean that there are:

n!/(n-4)! possible orders. As ‘n’ is 4 (number of digits available). 4!/0! which becomes 4x3x2x1/1 which simplifies to 24. That means that there are 24 possible combinations of codes. This would take you about two or three minutes to input all possible codes.

Unless an alarm goes off if you don’t get it right in 3 tries

*straightens calculator again*

Kick the fucking door in

well ‘technically’ the code is most likley 1970. statistically, a majority of people, when told to choose a 4 digit code will choose their birth year. and this key pad is obviously a few years old to put it nicely, thats most likley it. 

some sherlock holmes shit just went down over here

No, no, no. Don’t base your deductions of psychology. Let’s talk chemistry. When you first press a button, there’s more of the natural oils on your skin, and therefore it wears down the numbers on the keys faster. Obviously 0 is the first one, then. Try 0791 first.

Sherlock out.

woah.

it got better

and this is why the sherlock fandom could either rule the world or end it….

Close, but not quite, I think. People will almost always choose a number they can remember. What’s memorable about 0791? Try 0719 - a birthday, 19th of July. That is more likely.

Those deductions are great and all, but unnecessary.

The light is green.

The door is already open.

And that’s why we have a John Watson.

This is “top 10 favorite posts” level.

Omg, it’s actually on my dash! This post is like a fossil!

"Faggot"

THIS

Reblog every time

HOLY SHIT

Back in middle school, my friends and I used a very simple coded language for writing secret messages. I saw some posts about needing to hide one’s beliefs from partners/bosses/parents so I wanted to share it with you! These would also be great to incorporate into sigils since they are simple lines and dots.

People need to realize that there’s a difference between straight people and Straight People™

Straight person: Hey, you got a new haircut. Looks really good.

Straight Person™: No homo, but your haircut looks good on you.

In case you were confused 👌

Just like how there are white people who are gay and then there are the White Gays

White people who are gay: “I’m gay.”

White Gays: “I can’t believe I got accused of racism after calling that person a racial slur! I mean, I know what racism looks like because I’ve been discriminated for my sexuality. How is me being racist even possible? I’M GAY!”

Lmao all the angry White and Straight people in the comments, keep reblogging

neurotypical: i don’t have any mental illnesses or disorders Neurotypical™: Happiness is a choice!! ✨✨Have you tried yoga? Drink more water and eat kale ✨✨

cis person: i identify completely as my assigned gender Cis Person™: It doesn’t matter what you identify as, cause you still have Female Genitals! I’m not being offensive!! Read a book on Human Biology! 🚹🚺

men: I identify as male.

Men™: feminazis ruin everything, get back in the kitchen and make me a sandwich bitch

atheists: I don’t believe in god or identify with a religion

Atheists™: Don’t fucking talk to me if you believe in God. Open your closed-fucking-minds!! (usually targeted towards Christians)

nice guys: hey I know when not to invade someone’s space and I totally respect boundaries

Nice Guys™: IVE BEEN YOUR FRIEND FOR A MONTH AND NOW YOURE TELLING ME YOU DONT WANT TO FUCK ME ???? WHAT IS THE POINT OF WOMEN IF YOURE NOT HAVING SEX WITH ME?

this post got all kinds of better since I last saw it

This post is perfection across the board.

feminist: I believe in equality for everything between the sexes

Feminist™: ALL MEN ARE ASSHOLES AND SHOULD DIE! WE DONT NEED ANY OF THEM ANYWAYS AND THEY NEVER DO ANYTHING GOOD FOR US!!

Christian: I believe in God and his son Jesus

Christian™: We must Obey Bible In Everything and Take It Literally and if you don’t do it you’re Going To Hell! I’m praying for you to find God and have your sins Forgiven! Other religions are from Satan and So Is Atheism!

little self care tips

- apply Vaseline to your eyes, lashes, brows, and lips before bed

- never brush curly hair while it’s dry

- on that note, applying products/oil to curly hair while dry is useless

- use a t shirt to dry hair to avoid frizz

- sleep without pants. trust me.

- avoid watery body lotions like Vaseline’s lotion. only dries you out

- avoid crystalline, jagged scrubs (sugar, coffee. St. Ives, etc.). Use round/gentle ones like oatmeal

- avoid coconut oil on face. if you apply it to your hair wash your face afterwards

- don’t put lemon on your face. it might seem like it’s helping but it weakens its protective layer in the long run. if you do use it, dilute it and avoid sun for a while.

- no toothpaste on pimples either it’s a myth

- why do u have a bra on at home. take that shit off and live a little.

- apply deodorant before getting dressed so it doesn’t rub off on your clothes defeating the purpose

- reapply sunscreen every 3-4 hours

- don’t text the fuckboy he don’t care about you

- wake up 30 minutes earlier to have a more relaxed morning and avoid rushing

- wash panties by themselves so you don’t get the gross dirt and germs from your other clothes mixed in. dry them in the sun to kill bacteria if possible.

- hand wash all hijabs they’ll last longer

- don’t use rose water with added fragrance. always check label

- eat at least one fruit or vegetable a day

- leave menial tasks for the end of the day. don’t drain yourself before getting to the important stuff

- before saying something mean or a nasty joke, take 5 seconds to think about it.

- apologizing first doesn’t make you weak

- being vulnerable doesn’t make you weak

- exfoliate after using foundation or powder

- clean phone screen with rubbing alcohol/sanitizer

might add more later or y'all can reblog with your own tips

I recently found my “gold” hammer after misplacing it. It’s my favorite tool ever because it looks like a regular hammer trying to be fancy,

but then you twist both halves and unscrew it to find a flat-head screwdriver in the middle.

BUT, if you twist the very end and unscrew that

you find a phillips screwdriver.

BUT DON’T THINK THAT’S ALL THERE IS! THERE’S MORE!! unscrew the very end again to find a smaller flat-head screwdriver!

BUT THAT’S STILL NOT THE END!!

unscrew the end of this screwdriver to find a final, teeny tiny, flat-head screwdriver

look at how cute it is!

it’s like a matryoshka doll of tools.

Happiness Will Come To You.

when tho

When You Least Expect It. Probably Late March

reblog for happiness to come for you in late march!