she's a carnival

I feel so... down whenever I want to watch queer or trans videos because I know in the back of my mind that none of the current large queer content creators' content or community is safe for people like me, intersex people.

I love their work otherwise, but it hurts badly to hear them toss around casual intersexism in their videos constantly when discussing queer and trans issues and nobody ever mentions it.

And because these are large, popular creators, nobody has ever listened when I've tried to ask they adjust their language. My dms go ignored or unseen and my public comments get drowned out by fans defending their intersexist comments. It's emotionally draining and exhausting, I just want to be included in my own community.

Genuinely asking if you are comfortable sharing, but what are some examples of "casual intersexism"? I'm honestly less read up on it than I should as someone who is intersex. Feel free to ignore this though should you not feel like it or anything.

its so funny to me that people on twitter n tiktok are like "ok but porns still banned on tumblr so at least we're better then them" as if they dont have to typ3 w0rd$ I1k3 th!$ to get around their censors

y34h, 4t l34st on th1s s1t3 you c4n t3ll th4t th3 p3rson h4s 4 p4rt1cul4r, mor3 4nnoy1ng r34son to typ3 l1k3 th1s

i want to you to eat deodorant

A D20 made from resin impregnated human femur.

MOST EXCELLENT DREAM, dear followers. It was the exact same plot of RWRB. Exact same characters in RWRB. But. But. Both Henry and Alex were autistic.

That’s it. That was the only change. I found it extremely enjoyable and if anyone wants to write that I’m on my hands and knees.

Update I found. O n e fic of nd Henry-

IQ tests are horrible.

And

People with ID are real and valid.

Are both statements that can coexist. Stop invalidating people with ID by your discussions about IQ. Stop. Invalidating. Them. ID exists.

my instagram explore page loves showing me those like erotic dark romance novel tiktoks and i really have to wonder: why do all these straight women desperately want to fuck a mafia boss

Okay, let's try and break this down.

Sexual fantasies are, by their very nature, transgressive. Yes, even the fluffy, romantic ones. As long as general culture remains negative about sex and sexuality in any form that isn't cishet procreative sex within the confines of matrimony with the woman not as an equal actor but an object sex is performed onto, this is going to remain true.

And the thing about fantasies is that our brains like to take the things we crave the most and mix them up with our fears, anxieties, pain, and trauma into a melange of, sometimes, truly epic levels of fuckery.

But here's the secret - things we fantasize about, from the most wholesome to the bizarre to seriously fucked up? They are very, very often NOT what we literally want.

Being into dubcon or noncon doesn't mean you actually want to be raped or rape. Being into monsters doesn't make you a zoophile. And fantasizing about violent, obsessive men doesn't mean you wouldn't run as far the fuck away from a man like that the second one of them set their sights on you.

If you're really interested in the subject, I recommend reading My Secret Garden by Nancy Friday, a compilation of anonymously submitted women's sexual fantasies. And, as it turns out, women fantasize about a lot of really violent, uncomfortable, and just plain screwed up stuff.

And, for most of them, even when they don't actively realize it, it's about reclamation. Of fear, of trauma, of loss of power. It's about THEMSELVES and how THEY feel. As weird as it's gonna sound, the men featured in those fantasies don't really matter, they're just a vessel, a manifestation of the extreme version of what you're dealing with and/or crave. A safe, cathartic way to experience something profoundly unsafe, unwise, and terrifying.

For women fantasizing about criminals, villains, monsters, and anti-heroes, it's very often about the idea that someone like that - intense, violent, with single-minded focus, and immense power - would love her, want her, always put her first, go against all his instincts/training for you without a second thought and be a clear and present danger to everyone but warmth and safety for her and only her, and burn the world itself down for hurting her in even the slightest of ways. It's a sexual version of the fantasy of having a pet tiger, one that would never, ever attack you or hurt you in any way.

And just like the people who want to boop the forbidden snoot, the women fantasizing about their fantasy Mafia Boss Lover are very well aware of the fact that 1) men like that don't actually exist, 2) the criminal world of their fantasy has all but nothing to do with reality, and 3) that the thing they're actually fantasizing about is being loved, wanted, and safe... just in a REALLY intense, exaggerated way. And, let's not mince words, there's also often a more or less strong D/s dynamics at play in the scenario, too.

Now, you can choose to be judgy bitches about it (goodness knows plenty of you in the replies, comments, and tags are), in which case I would suggest you examine why you're feeling such a profound need to shame women for enjoying themselves in their own little world, or you can apply the YKINMKATO mantra and understand that straight women, living in the constant state of preyhood, sometimes consciously or subconsciously reclaim power over that situation through transgressive sexual fantasies.

Also, fuck this idea that queer people only fantasize about healthy and wholesome relationships, romantic, sexual, or otherwise, as if at least half of Tumblr isn't simping for, oh, for example, Hannibal fucking Lecter. Do you have ANY idea how many Mafia and Thug BL content there is out there?! FFS, Tom of Finland, a WWII veteran who fought against Nazis, drew art of exaggeratedly masculine men in Nazi uniforms in pornographic situations as a way to dissociate himself from those traumas and fascists themselves as far back as the 1950s!

So yeah. Less judgement, and more taking some responsibility for curating your online experience if seeing someone's kink truly offends you this much.

"Booping the forbidden snoot" is a good way of putting it

prev tags, text ver. below the cut

I'm going to try to explain this without sounding completely deranged but like, okay: IMO, there are two kinds of fantasies. let's call them horses and unicorns.

a horse fantasy is something that is theoretically possible. I do not currently own a horse, and the reality of owning a horse would involve boring stuff like paying for its food and mucking out its stall, but it is something I could do in real life. like, horses exist and can be owned by humans. lots of fantasies can fall into this category: traveling to a foreign country, living in a cute house with just you and a cat, winning a marathon, basically anything that is technically achievable even if it would be difficult to do so in real life.

a unicorn fantasy is something that is definitely (or almost definitely) impossible. I do not currently own a unicorn, and there is no version of reality where I could own a unicorn, because unicorns are not real. the actual logistical issues that might arise from owning a unicorn, like paying for its food or mucking out its stall, are completely immaterial because it's not something that could ever actually happen. and like, it's in my brain! I control it! I can imagine a unicorn that only eats marshmallows and shits potpourri if I want to!

I think the disconnect comes in when people assume that a unicorn fantasy is actually a horse fantasy. to use the tiger example from upthread: you can own a tiger. you can't have a completely domesticated tiger that would never hurt you, not even by accident. so saying "I want a pet tiger" is a unicorn fantasy, because everything necessary for that fantasy to work (it being completely domesticated and incapable of harming you) are not things you can have in real life.

now, serial killers/war criminals/normal criminals/etc. are all things that exist. and there are definitely people in relationships with them in real life! so it's tempting to assume that something like "I want to fuck a serial killer" is a horse fantasy: something you would want to do, and could do, if given the opportunity.

but for the vast majority of people, that's not the fantasy. the rest of the fantasy ("he's a serial killer, BUT he only kills bad people and he's nice to me and is both able and willing to protect me from literally anything and has sex exactly the way I want to because he magically knows what I want because, again, this is happening in my brain") is what makes it a unicorn.

...huh. My thanks to @bemusedlybespectacled​ for putting NAMES to those things, “horse fantasy” and “unicorn fantasy”; because I’ve come across those concepts before, but never with WORDS for them. I hope that those terms become commonly understood, so then people can have discussions about them without having to spend an hour ahead of time just making sure that everyone’s talking about the same thing.

the one trope that never fails to Get Me is normal butch x insane femme

butch whos kind of down to earth and rolls with the punches & femme whos utterly deranged and out to win her man (female). shes like hes the specialest girl ever and if you dont clap for him i’ll blow up this fucking building

like 90% of the responses to this post feature characters who are literally not butch but thats ok i too love projecting on fictional characters and lying to myself

shout out to people with bladder and bowel issues this disability pride month.

its so hard to talk about our symptoms without being seen as gross or unsanitary.

you arent gross. you arent dirty. you arent unsanitary. i love you all <3

reblogging this again with an addition actually

my bladder control isn’t the best, i pee myself every now and then, usually when laughing. i have on multiple occasions shit myself because i either can’t tell i need to shit (the good ol unreliable fart) or literally just waking up to see i shit myself in my sleep.

these things shouldn’t be embarrassing to talk about, incontinence can be a sign of something more serious and telling people to not talk about it can lead to serious issues being ignored.

so yeah, you are not gross.💜

in italy, lesbian parents are being removed from their child’s birth certificate in favor of the ‘biological parent’, regardless if that person ever had a role in raising the child. welsh has been doing this as well. it feels like we’re going back decades.

link to the news article, for anyone curious.

"whats the point of transitioning if you aren't dysphoric” what’s the point of eating a burger if you’re not starving to death. it looks yummy bitch