I was trying to explain Howl’s Moving Castle to my dad and what I ended up saying was “it’s about a wizard who makes his house walk around to avoid the draft” and that’s simultaneously not what it’s about at all and exactly what it’s about
well life just isnt fucking fair is it humpback whale 85
i think its kind of funny how ppl dont believe me when i say 'i forgot' bc i genuinely say it so much that theyre just thinking to themselves 'shit man theres no way this dude actually forgets that much' and then i get to watch them slowly realize that yes, i do actually forget That Much after watching me forget what i was saying in every convo the moment smth distracts me
me: oh sorry dude i totally forgot to wash the dishes today
them: u say that like every time, ur just making excuses
me, earlier: [too busy doing a hyperfocused research session abt where the wax goes when u burn candles to remember to wash the dishes and then gets distracted from that search to look up the age of a character and then remembers i need to feed my cat but gets distracted in the middle of that to take a shower and THEN feed the cat and then eat lunch and watch a video while im eating and then i get invested in the video and watch another in that series despite being done eating and
btw the wax just evaporates. like when its liquid it just... evaporates and thats where the wax goes
reblogging partly for the relatable adhd moment but mostly for the part about the wax
Scold
a short comic I wrote last year for a little zine I was putting together
bag of wees
do not reblog this
I meant to say bag of weed
your mom is named mom…my mom is named mom… dude don’t freak out but i think we’re related
The only reason I want a boyfriend is so that when I’m singing Fergilicious and it’s at the part where she says “I be up in the gym just workin on my fitness he’s my witness” I can point to him and he’ll do the little “wooOOH” part because right now I have to do both parts by myself and it’s stressful because right after the wooOOH part I have to get right back into rapping and the transition is harder than you think
[Canadian Starbucks barista voice] Moose? Moose Toronto?
Moose: that’s me that’s my drink
Barista: i love your name
Moose: i’m so sorry
Barista: i’m sorry eh
Moose: i’m sorry
Barista: i’m so sorry
Moose: i’m sorry eh
Barista: i’m sorry
u know whats wild. everyone on here like 20 and when i first joined everyone was like 14 15. u ask anybody n they been here for years. nobody new on here. staff locked the doors n were all Stuck Inside
Tag your current age and how old you were when you joined Tumblr
don’t do a STEM degree kids. the only thing people with STEM degrees are allowed to do for fun is watch lighthearted soft sci-fi tv shows and say “well that’s just not realistic” over and over.
the problem is history degrees are also dangerous because a tv show might say something about the past and be wrong and if you try to pause it to tell your friends why the monks illuminating that manuscript should be more careful with their blue pigment you’ll get called a nerd
The sociology degree delegation would like to commiserate for obvious reasons
newborn babies when theyre hungry and their mom isnt in the room and they think she stopped existing bc no object permanence
abt me: glowing, eating peaches drinking wine in lingerie, not texting ur desperate ass back
Abt me: acne on my chin, eating an unflavored rice cake in the dress I wore yesterday , reading thru texts my ex sent me a year ago
[tries to crowd surf at a TED talk]
anyone remember hozier? that wild son of a gun loved church
