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@embers--and--ashes

Embers || They/Them/Fae/Faer || Aro-Ace || this is my main so it's going to be a jumble of a lot of stuff || was previously agender-stardust

Bowser and Luigi on a date

Bowser: I love you

Daisy, wearing a mustache sitting in the table behind them: Mayday mayday! Big Tits has dropped the L word! I repeat, Big Tits has dropped the L word! Over.

Mario, in the bushes: Can we not call Bowser Big Tits? Over.

DK, on the roof with binoculars: I vote Luigifucker. Over.

Peach, disguised as the waiter: Greenbeaneater. Over.

Toad, literally under the table: IloveLuigibecauseheisagreatpersonwithgreatqualities. Over.

Mario: Big Tits it is.

Edit: @cocoafryok inspired this

I like the idea that Bowser and Mario, though they are rivals, are very similar.

Luigi, wearing ripped jeans: Okay let’s go!

Mario and Bowser: You going to church? Cause you’re wearing holy pants!

Mario and Bowser: *staring into each others souls*

I feel like there is not enough sibling bickering over Mario and Luigi

Mario: Yeah well, at least I’m not a monster fucker!

Luigi: What’s that? I can’t hear you from all the way up here!

OR

Luigi, upon seeing Mario about to do a stupid thing: Mario, you can’t do this.

Mario: Who are you, Dad?

Luigi:

Luigi: Okay that was funny

OR

Mario: Listen all I’m saying is you have other options then Bowser

Luigi: Just because you’re still not at the holding hands stage with Peach, doesn’t mean you have to take it out on me

OR

Luigi: I can do it

Mario: Luigi, you can’t even have a conversation with the cashier without getting a panic attack.

Anonymous asked:

Weighted blanket, artefact of The Buried, go to sleep with it, dream of dirt, wake up, You Are In Dirt.

The blanket is just randomly found at garage sales or folded neatly on the side of the road. Every time another person succumbs to Claustrophobia Incarnate, it's found in a new location almost strangely covered in dirt and mud, or sopping wet.

Only way you can really tell it's unsafe is that it gets progressively heavier the more you attempt to clean it, like it can't be at least a level of Buried at all times.

(or something like that I'm running on no sleep)

I would 100 percent use this, I already sleep with between 3 to 8 blankets(depending on the time of year. Plus I used to nap in holes I dug so this would be kinda nostalgic.

Can I have this artifact?

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I just wanted to sketch a bunch of Luigi's in his one nurse outfit and in Peach's dress, but that first one ended up getting all of my attention instead... and then I had another idea I wanted to draw lol

give me Luigi being a good stepdad to all his Koopa children, but specifically having a close and deep bond with his only daughter Wendy.

give me Bowser being a little lost when it comes to Wendy.

Luigi has canonically dressed up as Peach before, and the fandom seems so fond of having Luigi be comfortable with dressing feminine (or at least trying it out). Wendy is definitely a headstrong girl, unafraid to fight in her father's army, but she is also the only girl in her family. Kammy can only be there for her so much.

show me Luigi wearing dresses to events so that Wendy isn't alone and feels more comfortable. show me Wendy using Luigi as her way to practice makeup. show me Wendy being comfortable ranting about something fashion related, Bowser being absolutely lost, and watching in shock as Luigi effortlessly matches her knowledge and enthusiasm. give me Bowser asking Luigi for help in this area because he doesn't want to miss out on bonding with his only daughter this way.

Wendy dragging out Luigi to go shopping. Luigi helping the other Koopalings understand their sister better. Sleepovers in the Mushroom Kingdom with Peach, Daisy, and Toadette. Luigi telling her of his crossdressing/drag adventures, and that everything he knows comes from Peach. Wendy gifting Luigi makeup for his birthday with glee in her eyes.

i feel like they could have such a special relationship and i haven't seen it explored very much yet. such explorations could and also should happen for all other koopalings but just... gaaaaaaah give me Good Stepdad Luigi bonding with his daughter goddangit.

i might just write smth small myself later today but the thought of them just makes my heart warm and happy ;w;

Has anyone ever thought it would be cute if when Mario and Luigi first go to rescue Peach if it played out like in Shrek? Like Mario’s doing his best to find where Peach is being kept meanwhile Luigis tied up and having his face and mustache stroke by Bowser after accidentally seducing him (don’t worry Luigis into it he’s just a little confused)

Peach: I got kidnapped by a turtle-dragon.

Mario: I fought a turtle-dragon!

Luigi, who's still stoked about it: I f-

Ok someone had an idea similar to this but. The toads in the mushroom kingdom love Mario right? But they don’t pay any mind to Luigi even being like “we wanted Mario not this guy.” Even toad who loves the Mario bros has canon moments of preferring Mario over Luigi. So what if all the times Bowser kidnaps Luigi (over time is becomes less like being a prisoner and more like a guest) Luigi gets to know the koopa kingdom and befriends them.

So much so Luigi is just as popular and liked there as Mario is to the toads. I like the idea that if Mario, Luigi, and Peach over go to the darklands for some royal meeting (maybe a peach treaty?) all the koopas, goombas, and shy guys welcome Luigi with open arms and literally pay Mario no mind or show complete distain. I can see Luigi confiding in some of the koopas he considers friends how he feels second best to Mario at home and in turn they hate just hate Mario.

The only Bowser I can accept is so in love he doesn’t know what to do with himself Bowser. He was a simp for Peach but that was more admiration than love. So when Luigi comes along and Bowser truly feels love for the first time he can barley contain himself. He spends every second finding ways to sweep Luigi off his feet. And that’s another thing!! Luigi finally being totally and completely loved and adored!! Luigis always felt second best and has dealt with his fair share of rejection then comes along this hot lizard guy that worships the very ground he walks on Luigi doesn’t know what to do with his feelings either!!

I just really like them both being love and touch starved then being able to give each other love 💖💖💖💖

Mario, breaking into Bowser’s castle: Where is Luigi!

Bowser: Why did you break my…wait Luigi is missing? For goodness sake Mario you can just knock on my door so I can help!

Mario: I thought you kidnapped him!

Bowser: Why would I kidnap my boyfriend?!?

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Fake dating, let's go 💪

There's some kind of big royal U.N. conference and Mario and Luigi have tagged along with Peach as "security" (really because it was going to be boring). Luigi runs into Prince Peasley, who he tried desperately to get the attention of last time they met, and realized afterward that maybe Peasley wasn't interested and ignored him on purpose. (This is not true, Peasley legitimately didn't realize Luigi was into him, people act like that around him all the time!) So in a misguided attempt to not look like a loser, Luigi says he's there as a guest's romantic partner. Peasley cheerfully says he hopes he sees the two of them at some of the social events later and moves on.

Meanwhile, Bowser is actually trying to play nice and get some other countries to trade with the Koopa Kingdom, which is hard not just because of their history of invasions but also because of his personal reputation. More than a few royals are reluctant to even talk to him because they know what happened with the last princess who was polite to him. When Bowser finds out that's part of the problem, he quickly says he's over all that. In fact, he's got a consort now!

What to do, what to do. 🤔

Later, Bowser practically trips over Luigi, and decides he's as good a target as any to take out his rage on. Despite already being miserable Luigi's not having any of that, and they agree to find a private room to have a proper fight in. Neither of them wants to get too hurt, so they're only disheveled and out of breath when they emerge.

Most people don't think twice about two conference guests coming out of a room, but Peasley happens to be in the hallway, takes one look and says, "I see! Good for you!"

Luigi is too stunned to say anything, but when Bowser asks what the hell that was, Luigi explains as quickly as he can and offers to go clear things up.

"No way! This is perfect!"

Bowser drags Luigi back into the room, explains his situation, and makes a mostly-decent proposal. All they have to do is make a couple appearances at those stupid social events on the conference schedule, Peasley will think Luigi traded up (Luigi: "Sure... Up...") and the stuck-up royals will think Bowser has a nice boring boyfriend, problems solved all around!

As much as Luigi doesn't want to do it, he wants to explain the truth to Peasley even less. He agrees.

(and tells Mario and Peach immediately, of course, who think it's hilarious)

So... that's that. He's kind of dating Bowser. The first social event is a cocktail party, where everybody's supposed to play nice and make light conversion. It's incredibly awkward, but Luigi can tell Bowser is making a serious effort to keep his temper in check, no matter how many people have snide comments about him or his "date." Mostly to keep from having to fight him again, Luigi talks to him and listens to his complaints and agrees that a lot of the other royals are being jerks. It's... kind of amazing what a difference it makes in Bowser's personality just to be heard.

The next day's social event is a showcase of regional food and drinks, which was entirely voluntary but most of the royals have turned into a passive-aggressive competition. Since the Koopa Kingdom couldn't be bothered to take part, all Bowser and Luigi have to do is walk around and eat free food. They have a pretty good time, all things considered, especially since Luigi has been to a lot of these countries in his adventures and can give informed opinions.

It goes on like that for the rest of the week. Every day, Bowser and Luigi are a little more surprised by each other, a little more comfortable in each other's presence. Bowser protects Luigi several times from getting stepped on or shoved aside, and Luigi starts getting snide right back at anyone who makes a remark about Bowser's manners.

Bowser mentions some of the trouble he's having and Luigi does his best to offer advice. Without thinking about it, Bowser brings Luigi along to his next meeting and he's such a balancing force that it goes better than any meeting Bowser has had all week.

Then it's the last day, and the last event, and after this they'll be done with each other. Back to normal. Back to the way things were before. This one's a concert and a fair number of royals are dancing with their partners or each other (it's a great opportunity to make matches, after all). Mario and Peach get up to dance, and a minute later Bowser gets up and leaves the room.

Luigi follows him.

They're outside in the garden, alone under the moonlight, and Luigi says he understands how Bowser feels. That he's not the only person who's ever had feelings for someone who loves someone else.

"That's not it," Bowser says.

"It's okay! I get it."

"I said that's not it."

And before Luigi can ask what it is then, Bowser picks him up by the collar and kisses him.

In the morning Luigi leaves with the Mushroom Kingdom delegation, as planned, and nobody notices that he didn't spend the night in his room. Nor does anybody ask where he's spending those days that he's not at home.

The next year, when he and Bowser announce their engagement, the guest list includes the royal families of half the kingdoms on the planet.

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A "wicked enchantress" is running around inflicting people with fairy-tale-inspired curses. Peach's castle gets hit with a Sleeping Beauty curse, and the usual solution doesn't work so Mario and Luigi go chasing down the enchantress.

They catch up easily enough, but she blasts Mario with a spell that turns him into a wolf in a red hoodie. Luigi has just enough time to think "wait a minute, Little Red Riding Hood isn't about a curse," before he's zapped with a "Cinderella" curse. He's stuck in a green ballgown and masquerade mask that won't come off.

Of course, that doesn't bother him much, and turning Mario into a wolf only gave him natural weapons, so they kick the enchantress's butt for a few rounds before she runs away.

Meanwhile, Bowser's castle was hit with a Beauty and the Beast curse... while Bowser wasn't home, meaning Junior is now stuck as a beast and honestly having a great time. The servants are pretty unhappy though and it'll be a pain having Junior shed all over everything (and privately Bowser feels bad he wasn't there to protect everyone, plus kissing Junior's newly-fluffy head didn't break the curse which makes Bowser terrified that he doesn't fully love his son and really is as selfish as people say) so he sets out to find whoever did this and rip them apart.

Soon thereafter he runs into what appears to be a princess with very cool taste in pets, and can't resist turning on the charm.

Luigi would have cleared up the misunderstanding right away, except Bowser is so bad at being charming that it loops around to actually being charming. Telling him who he is after flirting back would just make things awkward and maybe get Luigi set on fire. And Mario, despite lacking thumbs or proper vocal chords, is making it extremely clear that he doesn't approve of Bowser and "Princess Emerald" getting too close. Better to cooperate until they find the enchantress and high-tail it out of there as soon as she's defeated.

Unfortunately it turns out the curse still follows Cinderella rules, so at midnight the ballgown disappears and Bowser finds out after all. He's just as pissed as Luigi was afraid he'd be. There's some fire breath tossed around. But he's more embarrassed than anything else, and the fact that he's the only one without a curse (and that the "dog" is actually Mario) cheers him up enough that he decides to stick it out as part of the team.

He doesn't admit that he'd really started to like Princess Emerald in the afternoon they spent together. She was nice. She listened to him. She laughed at his jokes. And he can admit he's got a thing for big blue eyes. The fact that all those traits are the same whether Luigi's in a dress or in overalls is not one he wants to think about.

(The curse affects Luigi from noon to midnight so he still gets mornings to look like himself. Honestly it wouldn't be bad at all except a ballgown isn't very practical and Luigi's mildly offended that the curse also shaves him.)

So they go on, Bowser tries not to flirt, Luigi tries not to fall for his flirting, they both fail and wolf!Mario suffers.

Eventually they do catch up with the enchantress (probably after a lot of other curse-induced fairy tale shenanigans) and try to fight her. The gang is winning when she suddenly blasts Bowser with something that seems to kill him outright. Luigi, devastated, kisses him before getting up to keep fighting.

The enchantress sees this and goes, "Eewww!"

Turns out she's a little girl who got her hands on a powerful magic artifact. True Love's Kiss didn't break any of the curses because she's seven and kissing's gross! Now that they know she's a child (and that Bowser is just sleeping like Snow White) Mario and Luigi are reluctant to fight at full strength. Instead Luigi distracts her with his pretty pretty princess accessories, so Mario can dash in with wolf speed and steal the artifact.

Bowser is extremely confused when he wakes up, saying something about a weird dream he had, but all the curses are broken and everyone can go home. Problem solved. Definitely no lingering feelings and awkward secrets.

Definitely nobody is going to keep thinking about that teary goodbye kiss when Luigi thought Bowser was dead...