real big trauma mood is crying for 5 minutes once every six months and then going back to repressing every emotion
*scrolls far back into my blog* oh yes…i was suffering quite vigorously here
my counselor: how are you doing?
me: good, how are you?
my counselor: good, what brings you in today?
me: im doin real bad karen
i hate when personality tests ask questions like “how would other people describe you” listen bix i already agonize over this at every moment of my waking life and i dont need u bringing it up in this my area of escapism
I pray that none of you ever fall in love w/ someone who makes you hate the way your heart works. You don’t deserve any uncomfortableness.
jm-8-deactivated20190905
If you break someone and they still wish you the best, you’ve lost the greatest thing for you
cuntinued
me, lonely as shit: i'm lonely as shit
anyone: hey do you want to hang out m-
me, exhausted suddenly: no
“there may be plenty of fish in the sea, but no fish will ever help you swim. that must be done on your own.”
Some people really are meant to be temporary but that doesn’t mean you can’t enjoy the time while it lasts. honestly im tired of this mindset that every relationship you have is supposed to “last forever” like that’s just setting yourself up to be dissatisfied! there’s nothing wrong with acknowledging that some people are just meant to brighten up your life for a short amount of time like people move around, jobs change, life circumstances change, vacations happen, let yourself be fluid with it as well!
Anonymous asked:
how do you know if you're in love???
I honestly asked my friend this same question just hours ago as I was clueless myself but thinking about it now I think it’s when for the first time after what seemed like a dreadful year (or life), you look forward to waking every morning knowing he (let’s use he as it’s me talking) will be there for you. I think it’s just plain seeing him and being happy that’s he’s around. It’s being happy just by hearing his voice. No matter how bad your day is, one message from him would make your entire day. It’s when he makes you want to write long letters and huge poems. It’s not all about “lust”- it’s more of the intimate relationship you have together. It’s when the simplest of things count. It’s when you start to mature and start to plan something with him for the future. It’s when he makes you want to start fixing your life. It’s when he’s always in your head 3 pm or 3 am. It’s when you can’t stop talking or thinking about him. It’s when you just really always miss him even if he’s right beside you. It’s the “I used to like green eyes but now blue eyes are my favorite”. It’s when all love and cheesy stuff just apply for him. It’s when you begin to see nothing but him and you value him like you value yourself. It’s not the “heart pounding, hands sweating” feeling but more of the “I feel home” feeling. It’s more of like talking to yourself- being yourself with someone without worries. It’s when you begin to really trust him with everything and that includes your happiness. It’s when he’s your happiness. It’s when subconsciously you change for the better. It’s when you once again start opening up after a long time. It’s when you are denying it at most cause you are afraid of how strong you feel and last I think while you’re reading this- there’s someone in your head right now and you’re just contemplating whether you’re in love with him or not but hey the fact that he or she is the person (out of billions of people) in your mind while you read this must say a lot.
What do you do when you lose this kind of love?
I broke up with the person I was thinking of while answering the first question because that’s what you do when you lose this kind of love- you let go and you move on.
You don’t cling onto the person because “two and a half years has been a long time and it’s a waste to end it here”. You end it because you’ve had enough thinking twice whether the person is still worth staying with or not. You let go because you find yourself looking back, comparing and missing the old times than cherishing the present. You let go because you have to stop defending that person and start facing the truth that things have changed. You let go because you let go of anything that upsets you whether it be work, hobby or a person.
And you let go because you have to stop being selfish. There is someone out there wanting to love the person you’re holding onto and they deserve to feel this genuine love from someone and not a pity love from you.
When you lose this kind of love, you move on. You do it because it’s the best choice for you. You move on because you’ve been hurt enough and it’s time to be happy. You move on because you don’t deserve to doubt the love that someone gives you. You move on and whenever you crumble, remind yourself on why you left in the first place.
And you move forward because you won’t find the right person for you while you’re holding onto the wrong one.
gosh
justdontwordshurt-deactivated20
whisky words and shovels II
“Honey he left you. It’s as simple as that, he left you. Because if he cared enough, he would’ve never put himself in a position to lose you; so don’t get fooled by that ‘I’m lost’ or ‘I don’t know what I want’ bullshit - he doesn’t want you, but that doesn’t mean that there aren’t hundreds of others that don’t. You deserve better, you deserve the same exact love that you want to give, and maybe even more. You have the rest of your life to fall in love, you don’t need him.”
— c.f. // “what I wish I knew a few months ago” (via flannelsandthecoffeebar)
“I think once you move on, you start to see the person as less and you thought they where. They aren’t a hurricane of heart break or a glorious ocean any more. Their eyes don’t remind you of chocolate or the sky, and their presence doesn’t make your heart skip an extra beat. They just become a person who loved you a little less than you loved them.”
— 11:02 - wish we were just strangers
employer: so what would you say is your biggest weakness?
me: probably just like who I am as a person
sumtimes u jus gotta accept da fact that u emotionall n sof!!!!