Hero of Fereldan, shaking Zevran awake: Babe, what the fuck, why do darkspawn carry money? What the fuck, why do they need money?

Zevran: Amor, please go back to sleep

Hero of Fereldan: Is it a capitalism? Is the Archdemon creating jobs? What the fuck?

elinmeat

Having no income is topped off with my laptop finally dying for good.

I cant offer commissions but I do tarot readings aaanndd you can also use http://PayPal.me/elinelin if you come across a huge pile of gold that you want to help me eat with

elinmeat

chubby-bunnies

nyctosaurid

if you don’t know the difference between a hare and a rabbit you’ve never gazed into the cold wild eyes of a hare and known that if it could speak it would speak backwards

gallusrostromegalus

Jack Rabbits are North American Hares and they’re the WORST to encounter at night becuase:

You all know how big a rabbit is. Jack Rabbits and hares are much bigger. they’re the size of large cats or small dogs or just-walking-age children.
They also like to hang out in gangs of a hlf dozen to over 30.
and in the middle of backcountry dirt roads.
perhaps they’re dustbathing
or blood sacrifce
I don’t know because when you come up the road at night because your dog has a tiny bladder and needs to go out at midnight and you have no yard so you’re walking him on the dirt road around your neighborhod because you might aw well get some stargazing in, and you come just over the ridge to see a coven of twenty jackrabbits in the middle of the road
and
they
all
stand
up
not just onto all fours like a proper prey animal
No they get up on thier hind legs and don’t just sit but STAND like tiny rabbit-skinned toddlers, wobbing slightly as they stare directly at you eyes shining in your flashlight’s glow

…Blood Red.
And a chill goes through you on that warm july night because while they’re a puntable size and allegedly herbivores they’re standing and watching you just like people and you are vastly outnumbered.
everyone freezes
you’re considering your odds aganst roughly 200lbs of Suspiciously Humanoid Hare
and they’re considering their odds against you
the only sound in the never-ending high desert wind
somewhere in your peripheral vision you can see the streetlights but they seem awfully far away
The nearest Jack Rabbit
Blinks
and takes a single shuffling step
forward
You area an overdevloped monkey and your prefrontal cortex is capable of some amazing feats but it runs very slowly compared to the reflexes of a rabbit and you’re frozen as you desperately scramble for the appropriate course of action, hands feeling thick and useless, mouth dry and feet imeasurably heavy there’s no way you’d outrun THESE, god there’s a rabies outbreak going around that shit’s not curable-
The Dog
L U N G E S
It’s only the briefest of movements but the animal you’d picked out for his gangly legs and floppy ears and goofy smile is suddenly a dark shape of muscle and teeth and had flung himself at the horrible goblin rabbits faster than mere physics should dictate, appearing in the circle of the flashlight for only the briefest of moments before the jolt from the leash makes you stumble and the light falters
The Jack Rabbits
Scatter
Vanishing into the faintly starlit sagebrush in as so many faint gray shapes that might be mistaken for the dustclouds they kick up
Later, you sit on the couch disquieted
and you wonder
If the sight of the Jack Rabbits standing and studying you was frightening enough to make you yearn for the safety of the yellowed streetlights
what must it be like from thier end?
what terrifying creature
deliberately ties itself
to something so horrible
As a Dog?

elinmeat

all my dragon age leading ladies have some fort of face paint, i just realized

#dragon age #dragon age inquisition #dragon age II #bioware #hawke #hero of ferelden #art #elinmeat

elinmeat

ssri withdrawal

#withdrawal #depression #mental illness #ssri #medication #art #elinmeat

You: Weird flex but ok

Me, an intellectual:

elinmeat

protom-lad

cungadero

tom animal crossing nook made you work for like 3 minutes and you spit on him like this god damn

he forces you into debt

that you literally never ever have to pay off unless you want him to build you a bigger house you floppy shoes rainbow wig ringling brothers ass bitch

schmuddel

Defending Tom Nook’s debt-based economy is going too far

you pay it off by selling him fucking bugs and rocks go make me a balloon animal bozo

Holidays can be fucking hard for a lot of people. Especially if you're mentally ill or part of the LGBT community. So we created #NotAloneOnXmas , a hashtag you can use to talk to us and other people! Please share and be safe! We're all in this together.

DISCLAIMER: if you need professional help, GET IT! We are not professionals. We are just your friends. Please call your country's emergency number OR crisis hotline. Some countries even have specific hotlines for women, lgbt youth, children, and veterans. #NotAloneOnXmas

(Also there will be a stream on the 25th @ twitch.tv/therearenojackals ! )

#NotAloneOnXmas #abuse #christmas #hotline #support #stream #there are no jackals #lgbt #queer

“Pokémom”

Britney omg why

this is the birthday party she just threw for her kids

i am FASCINATED by how Britney is so supportive and excited about their interest in Pokemon even though I have absolutely no doubt she is utterly confused by Pokemon

sodomymcscurvylegs

Honestly, Britney Spears seems like an excellent mom.

stay-myheartbeatsforlove

I remember her taking pre-algebra classes to understand her sons’ homework

elinmeat

hoteloblivion

tainbocuailnge

bite the vampire first to establish dominance

elinmeat

kerbrobro

eggzaki

there really isn’t anything wrong with swearing

eggzaki

if u say “i can’t even adult today” that’s 100 times more offensive than saying fuck

elinmeat

protom-lad

tumblr: the dad dating sim is homophobic because someone found a scrapped plot line where one of the dads is a cult leader and that demonizes the lgtb+ community :/

also tumblr: the child predator demon clown from ‘it’ that violently killed a gay man in front of his boyfriend is the new gay icon lmao