Next time a conspiracy theorist tries to tell you ‘what really happened’, present a more outlandish theory and accuse them of covering up the truth.

Conspiracy Theorist: “The moon landing was faked!”

Me: “Pfft, you believe in the moon?”

They always make Link look so serious in promo art and for what?

Call this false advertising

Ok so I was curious about that fucking deathtrap and I noticed a couple... oddities.

Alright so this thing is pretty stupid; I'm not at all familiar with submersible vessels, But it activated a sleeper gene in my skull from my time being obsessed with a certain video game.

So I decided to check the promotional page for the contraption.

(I'm going to put aside the second image, where they state the previous shit they hammered out had a 500 meter depth limit tops (i.e. that they, at best, made something that could get to 500 meters then decided that meant they could handle making something that could handle 8 times that). Thinking about the fact they brag about this so brazenly hurts my head. Back to the topic at hand.)

Ok so google shows "cyclops class" is not. a thing that exists. But it sure is funny they keep saying that word. Again maybe it's just my stupid video game brain but that doesn't seem to be used in this context anywhere else. Then I saw the renders.

Ok the newer one on the left really loves that "single eye" thing and looks silly enough, but the older one is.... ok. I give up. That's Subnautica. That's Subnautica For Real.

They built their goddamn suicide death trap based on a submarine in a videoed game.

No Fucking way. There's no fucking way. There's no fucking chance that--

I'm speechless.

Oh my fucking Gods. OceanGate is Alterra.

character concept: two people who have been reincarnated for thousands of years and have always found eachother but instead of being in love they just fucking hate eachother

I am so glad to see this back on my dash with my addition

I have only ever seen this in pinterest screenshots

This has to count as a World Heritage Post for the Legend of Zelda fandom.

Crows are scary They

Guys I’m really scared of crows now. (q) 

Yeah but have you seen this 

A colleague of my dad’s lives next to a lake, and looked out the window one morning to see a duck trapped in the ice. A crow swooped down. “Oh hell,” she thought, expecting carnage, because crows are opportunists. But the crow chipped at the ice with its beak until the duck was free.

Idk of this counts but a few crows saved me from a magpie swooping attack once ,they’re bros who can tell when magpies are being unreasonable and need to chill

I love crows so damn much. When I was fifteen, I hit a pretty serious bout of depression, to the point I was in my room for months. Well, a family of crows made a nest in a tree outside my window. There were two parents and two chicks. One chick was healthy and strong. One was weak, and had a caw like something being strained. It sounded more like a rooster crowing and so my parents jokingly named him ‘Buck’.Well… months passed and Buck’s sibling was taught to fly. His parents focused on the sibling because the sibling was strong. The father stayed behind to try and teach Buck, but I saw him try to fly, fail, and crash to the floor. His father helped him back up into the tree.

Every day, I would watch Buck from my window until one day I opened it and started talking to him. He was small and gangly and he couldn’t caw right. His feathers were all over the place and I felt a kinship. So I made a deal with him. I told him that if he could do it, if he could fly, then I could find the strength to get up. Well… near the end of the season, after talking with him every day, I finally saw him get out of the nest. He went to the edge of his branch, braced himself, and jumped… and just before he hit the ground, he soared back up into the sky. I cheered harder than I ever had before.

That winter, Buck left the area. I was crestfallen. I felt like I’d lost a friend. But I was so damn proud of him. 

Cut to the next spring? I’m walking up the driveway one day when suddenly I hear a sound… a broken caw. I look up, and Buck is sitting in a tree above my head. He stared at me and puffed his feathers, then hopped down in front of me and cawed again. I was so damn thrilled, and I told him how proud I was of him. He ruffled his feathers and then soared off into his old tree. 

That summer? I heard two broken caws. One from Buck… and one from his chick.

Cut to ten years later? We have a family of crows who all have a very distinct caw and they come here and spend every spring, summer, and fall on our property. Buck still greets me every spring.

that last reply made me wanna cry. that’s so beautiful.

Don’t forget the Russian Crow SLEDDING DOWN A ROOF not once, but twice. 

this one morning i kept hearing really loud caws, i remember it was like 5am, LIKE REALLY LOUD AND ANNOYING AND AGGRESSIVE, so loud that i could hear it through a closed window, and i eventually went outside to check it out. there was a crow on my front lawn, it had an injury on its head and couldn’t fly and there were two other crows circling right above it, and they were cawing like mad. 

i tried to get close and take a better look and one of them dived super low and tried to attack me. so i went back in the house and chopped some sliced raw meat and tossed it at him from a distance.

a few more times later, very soon after, they could tell i was trying to help, and did not attack me. i was “allowed” to walk up close and pick him up, he couldn’t drink water properly so i had to dip my finger in a bowl and stick it in his mouth.

i did this few times a day and it went on for about a week before he disappeared, i thought he recovered and left, but he came back the next day and lands on me, and i see him around the block quite often, and he would come sit on my shoulder for a few minutes and then fly away again. i feel like i’ve adopted a son.

Best birbs !!

your son is Beautiful and Strong

every time I see this post it has different crow stories and every time I reblog it again because all crow stories are good stories

Like, I wouldn’t want to be on bad terms with a crow, but they are a really smart animal, they aren’t scary You just want to be nice to them because they will know and they will remember, and they will pay you back if you treat them a certain way.

As a side note, I volunteered at a rehab (Hope for Wildlife), where they were rehabbing a crow with a broken wing–who was named Russell Crow. He kept pulling his bandage off so a sleeve was cut off some old clothing and put on him like a little sweater. 

!!!!

I don’t think I’ll ever not reblog this. This posts makes me cry and smile at the same time.

He’s so handsome!!

I would trust a crow with my life

This is your regularly scheduled crow appreciation post

I love crows!

moral of the story: crows my beloved?

@spef

@dead-minecraft-fandoms

More Crow Stories, please.

Very Brief Guide to [tumblr], for Reddit refugees

Shit You Must Do Right Fucking Now:

Basic Features of the Site:

Stuff Tumblr Does That Other Sites Don't:

General Etiquette:

Tips:

Have fun on [tumblr], everyone!

but no yeah lets have the conversation:

"the CEO doesnt want to run that kind of website" Excuse, shouldnt have bought the 'go nuts show nuts whatever' website if thats the case. APPEAL DENIED

"we have to follow the TOS of the appstores we're hosted on" Excuse item one, no you dont, item two, you have since those days implimented infrastructure that would allow pornography and sex work on this platform Without violating TOS of any applicable app store. APPEAL DENIED

"we own the site we get to make the rules" Incorrect, this site has only ever made profit when the users willed it. we collectively own the site as a hive mind and no legal change in ownership will change that. APPEAL DENIED

"we have to keep this website safe for the children who use it" Argument based on fallacy banning pornography and sex workers does not prevent pornography and sex work from occuring on the site, it only forces aforementioned users to hide and avoid labling their content appropriately, which REDUCES the safety for children and sex workers alike instead of increasing it, this has been shown to the point that making this argument at all is tantamount to admiting fascist intent APPEAL DENIED

Reblog it. I want this to be on Tumblr radar by end of the week, i want my notes to be useless from the discourse, i want every single person on Tumblr to have seen this post at some point

you know who’s gay? paul the real estate novelist who never had time for a wife and davey who’s still in the navy and probably will be for life

New headcannon: everyone in that song is gay except the Piano Man who has no idea he’s playing at a gay bar and the staff and regulars have a betting pool on how long he’ll take to finally figure it out. So far John is ahead.

“The manager gives me a smile ‘cause he knows that it’s me they’ve been coming to see” also implies that the Piano Man is possibly an incredibly attractive but oblivious himbo, and if you listen to the rest of it imagining that, this all fits a little too well.

this makes too much sense. Also, the full quote is “Now John at the bar is a friend of mine. He gets me my drinks for free. And he’s quick with a joke or to light up your smoke. But there’s someplace that he’d rather be” Yes, your bed, he wants to be on your bed honey, that’s not a joke, he is flirting with you.

Lighting another man’s cigarette is some old-school gay cruising.

I’ll never tire of this. :)

Hello? Little human? Okay I kiss you now.

Fun fact: the cat is checking the baby’s mouth to see if it is still breathing. Were it not breathing, the cat would commence to eat it.

FUN FACT

Omfg

That’s just blatantly untrue. While cats have been known to eat human corpses, it’s generally only when they’re starving and have no other food source. Seriously, quit demonizing cats.

Nose touches (as you see here) are a cats way of saying hello. It’s a friendly greeting. It’s NOT checking for breath.

Laying on a human (as you see here) is literally cat cuddling. Thats it.

We have literal records of cats going out of their way to save the lives of children from various dangers, from fires, to dog attacks, to choking to death. Its very easy to look up.

The only cases of cats eating their humans, have always been when their human died and it has been several days without the body being found. Amazingly this tends to line up with the cat not being fed and therefore STARVING.

It’s also a common thing among most pet animals too? Like sorry, your dog will do it too. Hell, ever heard of the the Donner Party? Humans aren’t exempt. When faced with survival, you try and survive.

STOP DEMONIZING CATS FOR BEING ANIMALS.

(And I mean, all it takes is a quick google search to figure this out, but no lets spread misinformation about innocent animals?)

If you actually truly believe cats are out to get you, and are cold and not affectionate, or whatever else people use to justify demonizing cats… You need to actually look up cat behavior. Your cat who ‘ignores’ you? More often than not is just respecting your space. Your cat who lashes out? Probably not feeling safe in their environment. Your cat brings you gross things? Trying to look after you.

Cats aren’t dogs. They have a set way of communication, and while they can learn dofferent expressions of affection, it will always be less evident than with dogs (who are particularily malleable to human behavior.) This doesn’t mean they are any less loving or capable of bonds.

All it takes is a quick google search to figure out why your cat does what they do. And literally, no cat intrinsically wants to eat babies.

are you kidding me, cats are super protective of small children. they’ve been known to attack dogs, snakes, alligators and grown-ass men if they thought a child was in danger. a stray cat in russia saved an abandoned baby from hypothermia by cuddling him, alerted people to his presence and tried following the freaking ambulance that took him to the hospital. they are very sweet and patient with babies and there are tons of adorable videos out there to prove it.

IF I EVER HEAR ANYONE TALKING SHIT ABOUT KITTIES I SWEAR

“cats are not dogs”

And there’s the rub. People have issues with cats because they’re mad they don’t act like dogs. They are a different animal and they relate and communicate differently. That doesn’t make them worse pets or evil or something.

^^^

Cats are good and pure creatures, dammit

Actually true fun fact! Cats who live with humans see those humans as colonymates! Cat colonies communally raise kittens. So if a cat’s human has a baby, the cat considers themself an automatic co-parent. So as far as that cat is concerned, that baby is its baby too. That cat is cuddling with and doting on its kitten.

Oh my god, that last fact is so fucking cute

For the people in the back: 👏🏻 CATS 👏🏻 ACTUALLY 👏🏻 DO 👏🏻 CARE 👏🏻 ABOUT 👏🏻 YOU! 👏🏻

This is relevant once again. I apologize if you are a real human getting blocked/reported.

Masha The Hero

They forgot the part where the ambulance actually stopped to let the cat in

oh good I was worried

What a good cat. What a kind cat. How can anyone not love cats they are so good and loving.

they also forgot the part where they only found the baby because masha was screaming her head off bc she knew this baby was in danger. she went around outside the alley the next morning and yelled at passerby until she got one to follow her to the baby. she kept him warm all night and then made sure someone found him. she was adopted after this bc she was a stray and is in a loving home and is a hero

Hero cat

Thank you, Masha, you’re such a good girl.

See.

Kittens can’t regulate their own body temperature. That’s why they pile up.

Cats see us as colony members.

Masha saw a kitten that was on its own, no mommy, no other kittens to cuddle with. She instinctively knew that was a cold kitten. She knew that a kitten alone on a cold night was very likely to die. Because a kitten would have died too.

So, all she was doing was what any good colony member does - protecting the abandoned kitten. Then when the abandoned kitten’s mommy didn’t come back, she called the rest of the colony for help.

People have this bizarre idea that housecats don’t have a social sense. They do, and it saved this kid’s life. And possibly Masha’s too, as life on the streets is dangerous for a kitty.

We say “good dog” all the time, but Masha was being a very, very good cat…not just by human moral standards but by feline ones.

Rebloging again because who can resist Masha the Hero cat 😻😻😻

Best kitty

אני אוהב אותך!!!

Me, sobbing: fucfink sup erbb,

guess, what @rovermcfly​?

https://at.tumblr.com/spyld/speak-your-language-day/czjxygdt8j1k

I have a great respect for multilingual people. Especially people whose first language is NOT English, but have learned English later on, because English is a bitch of a language even to people to whom it is their first - and very possibly only - language.

Watching Home Alone is so funny it’s like

Kevin’s mom: *hyperventilating into a paper bag* I can’t believe I left my son home alone, he has to be so terrified, my poor baby boy all alone I need to go get him-

Kevin: *actively planning to commit war crimes*

There are, at every turn, adults trying to help Kevin. He is not trapped in that house, he goes shopping like three times. He convinces the pizza delivery guy that there’s an old guy there trying to murder him. Kevin knows exactly what the fuck he’s doing and what he is doing is psychological warfare

Petition to make Home Alone a PG-13 movie at LEAST so the Wet Bandits can call Kevin a little shit on-screen

Actually no. Rated R. I want to watch Kevin kill a man

It started out as a random burglary but the SECOND Kevin shot that dude in the dick it became personal

I just realized that like. Until the end of the movie Kevin never figured out his family straight up forgot him at home. He truly thought he had fucking magicked them away with his wish that night and that he had magic powers. No wonder the kid was so full of hubris with those robbers he had the power of God and Santa on his side

Okay movie’s over. I have unironically and genuinely come to the conclusion that Kevin is a child prodigy and will possibly the most intelligent person on the planet once he’s full grown. Not only is he able to outsmart the Wet Bandits (great name), he outmaneuvers the police, shoplifts at least once, and rigs up multiple contraptions including a fake house party, a get-chickened fan+feather combo, and a homemade door-activated flamethrower. He does this all while convincing everybody that he’s just a tiny helpless kid.

In fact, at the beginning of the movie, Kevin has his entire extended family convinced he’s so helpless he can’t even pack a suitcase. I bet him attacking Bud and getting sent to his room early was a ploy to keep from having to share the bed with his bed-wetting cousin. At the end of the movie, one of his cousins says something like “Kevin went shopping? He can’t even tie his shoelaces!” This kid is playing his entire family like puppets and they have no idea

Like hell it does, that is reads like a 6k post at best. There’s no bit, no clown to gang up on. This post plays into the website’s deep appreciation of Kevin McAllister and his sadism but that can only take us so far. Study tumblr theory and come back to be the clown this post will ride to 40k if you truly want to bring us to victory. And also me to deep shame for having a viral post about Kevin fucking McAllister

Watching you suspiciously. Have I made myself the clown of the post again I cannot be three for three on this dude

Hey what are you doing. Hey.

Brilliant analysis, actually.

Also... *evil laugh*

reblog this if you’re jewish or your blog is a safe space for jewish people

If you can’t reblog this unfollow me.

excuse me WHAT OCS NOW

Nazi what now?

yall are so fuckin nasty. this alt right shit yall been on this year NEEDS TO STOP.

Excuse me, fucking WHAT?!

Fascists and bigots better get the FUCK off my blog. You aren't welcome here.

i’ve been inspired by the person who said if they got 666k notes they would practice self care. so ya know what? i’ve been in a spiral of depression for months so if this post gets 1 MILLION notes by the end of 2023, i will start taking care of myself and actually try to battle my depression and live my life. (this is never going to get 1m notes yall HAHAHAHAHAHAAAAA)

CHALLENGE: ACCEPTED LET'S GET YOU THAT SELF CARE

@chocolate-guy-compilations you're popular enough

@is-the-owl-video-cute

any popular blog

@staffs-secret-blog

@firefox-official

@one-time-i-dreamt

I've always loved a good challenge

Jumping on the "make people look after themselves" bandwagon!

I DIDN’T LEARN ABOUT THIS IN DRIVING SCHOOL

Stop says the red light, go says the green

Wait says the yellow light, twinkling in between. 

KNEEL, SAYS THE DEMON LIGHT WITH ITS EYE OF COAL  SAURON KNOWS YOUR LICENSE PLATE  AND STARES INTO YOUR SOUL

THIS IS ALWAYS FUNNY

@irritatedlifeguard I agree with your tags.

Okay fuck it if this post reaches 666k notes by the end of 2023 I'll practise basic self care

Why 666k? Because it's funny and impossible so good fucking luck

Well, OP, I’m officially invested in this shit. Your whiny ass is doing self care if I have to drive to your goddamn house and do it for you.

By Talos this can't be happening

reblog this everyone i wanna see what happens when op’s reverse-hubris forces them to practice basic self care.

why? because it’s funny and completely possible actually so good fucking luck op

I figured out roughly how many notes it's been getting per day and multiplied that by the number of days left until the end of 2023

If we keep it going at this rate we'll be far past 666k

IMPORTANT

Okay so clearly I've underestimated y'all

So how about we make this more interesting?

I will practise self care if this post reaches 666k BY THE END OF 2022

Op you have fuckethed with the devil this post has gained 30,000 notes since I reblogged it last night

OP I hope you are ready to practice some self care because if there's one thing the gremlins of tumblr love it's a challenge.

i normally hate these "oh noo don't give me a ton of notes" posts but this one? this one i love.

posts that have 666k notes TO ME. and hopefully to you, too, OP. 💜

Let's all practice self care if this post hits the magic number…

Yes

YALL HELP US

@bigfootshonkers @dollopheadsandclotpoles @gwaine-the-rock-johnson @hannahhook7744 @knightofwoodsbeyond @reality-schmality @thirteenthedoctor @yoursassybookwormfriend if you want to of course @fuckyeahsnackables

Op telling us we'll never make it to 666k by the end of 2023 (only having to make it 2022 after all):

Us:

I was going to wait until y'all hit the mark, But I feel like I should say this now

When I made this post, it was supposed to be a joke

I mean, none of my posts ever get more than 20 notes if I'm lucky, so what are the odds of one reaching 666k? Impossible, haha

But then, something happened, something I didn't expect

People actually began to... like it? And... reblog? And comment?

Before I knew it, my notifications were swarmed with comments after comments after reblogs after comments all on this one post

Then, still in the mindset of this being a joke, I realised I'd made the goal too easy, so I upped the stakes

But... the notes just got more frequent from there

And it started to hit me just what was happening

For a while, I was overwhelmed with a feeling

A feeling I wasn't used to

It was like... all of a sudden... I mattered...

My existance was actually noteworthy

People actually... cared?

It wasn't a game anymore, it was a race to assure a stranger on the Internet that they were actually worth something

Hundreds of people all gathering in one online place to help out

Leaving messages and well wishes

Making me smile

Making me laugh

Funny comments

Jokes

Fun facts

Even simple comments

It all suddenly felt so real

This was never a joke to you

This was important

And I won't let any of that go in vain

So... stay tuned I suppose

I'll look after myself, and I'll post proof of it too

I'll catalogue every time I put my health first

Physical and mental

I'll acknowledge my bad days and celebrate my good days

But most of all

I won't forget this

Any of this

Ever

(Tagging all the people in that screenshot)

@deepsea-bathyna @royalsampaguita @timeturnerturns @twerkyvulture @reblogspamletsgoooo @gender-crisis-time @obsidianstrawberrymilk @shana-rosee @thefandombringer @sunshinedarlingiloveyou @bregee13 @moonlarking-blog @arcan6yo @crazyw3irdo @xinea @ghastmaskzombie @killthestairs @abalidoth @leesbian42

THIS ONE. REBLOG THIS ONE. LET’S GO SELF CARE 2023

!!!

Well modern camera equipment can almost see in the dark so what do you even need lighting for?

i just gotta real quick make sure that youre joking. you are joking, right?

I’m not joking. Do you understand the ISO value system as it relates to film?

im not arguing that you cant film in the dark without special lighting (obviously you can), im saying you shouldnt. im arguing with the second half of your statement. the lighting in the first picture is very purposeful and enhances the horror of the film. they didnt get into the editing room and go “oh darn, we forgot to shine a light on the guy hiding in the shadows!” jaws was made scarier because you could rarely see the shark, so your brain invented the scariest possibility. you can just… see the whole man in the second picture. having a flat shot where the lighting doesnt even draw in the viewers eye to anything (much less obscure something thats supposed to give the movie tension and anticipation) looks fucking boring and adds nothing

thats what we need lighting for

One of these is much more visually appealing than the other

Lighting in film, and especially horror is so *so* important to the tension in the scene, it’s a significant part of visual storytelling, and the cinematographer/DOP (director of photography) should’ve picked up on that.

It’s particularly embarrassing in comparison to the original material, as with digital/modern technology, you can literally see how the shot looks while you’re shooting.

This should’ve also been sorted in comp and fixed well before distribution.

As already pointed out, the lighting values have no depth to them, thus creating a very flat scene (this is one of the first design principles we are taught in design for animation/film- if I had handed in a lighting shot or concept anything like this, I would’ve failed the module).

If you take the shots and put them into greyscale, you can see this a lot clearer.

In the original Halloween shot, we can see a high range of value (how bright or dark something is)- the lighting is brightest on Jamie Lee Curtis, the viewer’s eye is drawn to her first- we can see her emotions clearly and gain sympathy for her character. Then we are drawn into the darkest value, creating dread, and this is fulfilled and heightened with the contrasting (and next highest) value of Michael’s mask.

In the modern shot, all the values are within a similar range (mid-greys), and there is no proper depth in value- making the tension within the shot fall flat (not ideal for horror).

In fact, the highest value in this shot is the fire in the background- which is where the eye is drawn to first. The background. Not the action. So instead of feeling empathy or dread, we are focusing on the wrong details.

And yes, while it could be said from a film analysis POV that the flatness of the shot ‘puts the characters on the same fighting ground/level of power in the shot,’ I’m not going to give them the benefit.

To top it off, the use of colour in the modern shot highlights the errors in lighting. Whilst sharing the blue/orange colour scheme of the original shot, everything is blue except the one area of contrast, the orange fire. So once again, we are drawn to none of the action and instead the background.

With a very small edit in compositing and lighting to match the original Halloween, the feeling (and focus) of the shot is completely changed. The shot has higher contrast and range of values- the focus is on Curtis, while Michael feels more foreboding in the darkness. The contrast puts the characters on opposite sides- good vs evil, telling a narrative in contrast to the unedited shot.

These effects could’ve easily been achieved by adding a key light on Curtis and rim lighting on Michael in production, and if necessary, editing value depth in comp to enhance the raw footage.

TLDR: Digital filmmakers still need to know traditional film and design theory- just because you have good actors, cameras and composition, does not mean you can forgo basic film craft. The aim of cinematography is to enhance the narrative, not restrict it.

Personally, I also like to be able to actually see what's on the screen, too.

Do other USAmericans not know the names of the Great Lakes?? I grew up in the midwest so like. They’re important here but I never considered that other people might not give a fuck about these terrifying inland seas until I was reading a fic that said “the large Lake Michigan and another called Lake Erie” as if there are people who don’t know about Lake Michigan and Lake Erie.

Is that the case?? Are people outside of the midwest aware of these bodies of water outside of being just big lakes???

Okay so apparently people outside of the area near the lakes aren’t actually taught shit about them, which stresses me out so much actually??? These are NOT normal lakes, they are essentially inland freshwater seas with very strong currents (Superior, Huron, and Michigan are three of the ten largest lakes in the world), tp the point where they can have tsunamis, and are well known for people drowning and ships sinking in them. It’s estimated that anywhere beteen 6,000 and 30,000 ships have sunken in the Great Lakes.

We’re only about halfway through 2022 and there’s already been around 60 drownings this year alone. I really wonder how many of those deaths were tourists who weren’t aware of the very real dangers of these waters and treated them like normal lakes. If you visit them, treat them like you’d treat the ocean and be very careful.

Also, names from largest to smallest:

The mnemonic is HOMES!!

I'm not USAmerican, but isn't Lake Superior "only" the third largest freshwater lake in the world? After Lake Tanganyika and Lake Baikal?

I'll concede that it's the largest freshwater lake by surface area, though. That, and it's definitely a fucking enormous lake no matter how you measure it.