all fake. your tables not even real. its just some wood someone assembled in the shape of a table
me: *googling what kind of bike helmet i should get*
search result 1, AI-generated article: Since the dawn of time, humans have wondered what kind of bike helmet is best for protecting their cranium and lower intestine. In the event that you find yourself with a bike helmet, you must find a way to save your family. Therefore, we have compiled a list of qualities to look for. First, sodium content is of great importance when biking your helmet.
search results 2, 3, and 4: sponsored ads for bike helmets on amazon
search result 5, reddit thread: bikeaholic363736: hey guys, do any of you have experience with the windslapper 30g helmet from spronklegear?
spokejunkie666: it's probably the best helmet on the market right now. if you're not using the windslapper you might as well just be riding your bike into a woodchipper
handlebar_hamburglar: idiot. we've had this thread a hundred times. don't the mods enforce the repost ban anymore? OP, don't listen to spokejunkie. the windslapper is the leading cause of death in the netherlands
A man walked straight into a bar
And then came out
Anonymous asked:
Straight female chasers. Discuss.
As in, straight women who specifically are into trans men? It does seem to be a thing. I can't tell how big the demographic is, though.
Now, if you looked at "people who are interested in the notion of an opposite-sex person who has their kind of genitals", I think you'd find that's a big demographic. And it's not really about trans people, at a fundamental level, I don't think, though of course in the real world, trans people are just about the only example.
What I mean is, you look at depictions of futanari and cuntboys, in hentai and fanfic and such, and they're significantly popular. But this isn't about trans people, first; most of these depictions don't represent trans people. It's about the fantasy of a woman with a penis, or a man with a vagina. That concept comes first, and can exist with or without trans people. But of course, as I said, in the real world, trans people are the only thing anywhere close to these fantasies.
Is it true Tumblr is crossing the picket line by marketing One Piece?
It's unfortunate to have that show's ads blasted on all our dashboards, to be sure, but it doesn't exactly fit the definition of "crossing the picket line", which is specific strike terminology that's been muddied a bit by talk on the Internet.
Crossing a picket line generally means crossing an actual, physical picket line to patronize a struck company, thereby disregarding the strikers. (Recent example in the news: hotel workers on strike in California picketed hotels; therefore, staying at those hotels was crossing a picket line.) It can also be used figuratively, and in that case it differs from strike to strike, depending on the specific union demands.
[Side note: there's no call for a boycott from WGA/SAG-AFTRA, so subscribing to streaming services/going to movie theaters isn't crossing a picket line at this time; however, people canceling streaming services in solidarity and leaving a note that explains they're canceling in support of the strikes is a move we wholeheartedly support!]
Tumblr is a company, not a person, so SAG-AFTRA can't discipline it for marketing a Netflix show like it would discipline an individual (a stern talk from the board, or prohibiting them from SAG-AFTRA membership, etc.) There's no legal way for any union to enforce a no-marketing rule for companies. If Tumblr had a strong solidarity ethic, they'd turn down studio marketing campaigns, but that's a lot to expect from any profit-driven company and shouldn't come as a surprise to anyone.
So, tl;dr: crossing the picket line? Not exactly. Still a not-great thing to do? Absolutely, and you can always send Tumblr a feedback form expressing your disapproval that they're marketing for Netflix during the strikes.
tumblr trying to be like tiktok then trying to be like twitter then giving us the 3rd unreality inducing immersive ad, its staff members being condescending to the userbase, the marketing team trying to parasocialize their way into your pockets, youtube trying to do away with adblockers after upping the percentage of ads by 40% and making it so even if your video is demonetized watchers will still get them, youtube removing the dislike button then making it so you don't get a home feed if you have watch history turned off, google being able to remove your synched bookmarks if they don't comply with their policy, if i listed every way in which twitter has gotten worse in the last year this post will be as long as a novel, ai generated articles and images everywhere, google searches sucking ass in general, reddit charging for its api, KOSA being introduced into the US senate, tiktok in general, every social media under the fucking sun introducing log in walls, being unable to browse most sites on mobile from the sheer amount of popups taking over your screen WAUUUGH social media being products and thus requiring infinite growth and thus trying to introduce newer and newer shit that alienates its dedicated userbase. saturated sludge era of the internet
Hanging out with Fluttermop
Rubbermaid® 60" Invader Side Gate Wood Mop Handle, Yellow - FGH116000000
Microfiber Kentucky Mop Loop/Taped Pink
Anonymous asked:
Do you know what RSS means? I've seen that a lot webcomics have a RSS page but I've been never quite sure what it does.
Yeah! RSS stands for "really simple syndication" and it's a way to subscribe to webpages on your own all in one place instead of using social media accounts, it's super useful for keeping up with independent websites (which is why so many webcomics encourage using it) and social media posts on sites you don't use yourself. It seems a bit intimidating at first but it's really handy because you can completely customize your feed, and keep up with exactly the content you want without having to follow all your favorite creators across six different social medias whose algorithms hide their updates anyway. I'm a huge fan of the concept myself but I'm a fucking barbarian and still just have an enormous list of bookmarks I check manually whenever I think of it, BUT my Cool Blog Pal @unpretty talks about it fairly frequently and knows much more about how it works than I do! She has a very long and detailed post about it over here you can look into when you get a minute. https://unpretty.space/post/181035050748/hey-a-friend-of-mine-is-curious-about-rss-and-the
i am doing my part to keep rss alive and i will spread the word whenever anyone gives me an excuse
i used to say "imagine you got website updates the way you get podcasts" but then i learned that a large percentage of people listen to podcasts by searching for them on spotify when they see on twitter that there is a new episode. that's horrifying, by the way. use a podcast app or add it to your rss reader. learn to love yourselves.
anyway.
these days i have reverted back to my sales pitch of "a tumblr dash for the entire rest of the internet". when someone posts something (a news article, a blog post, a comic) it shows up in your rss reader and is generally super convenient. i generally rec feedly.com as the most newbie friendly, but personally i use inoreader. it has the google-reader-esque power user layout i crave. also while feedly is pretty it feels a bit too corporate for me.
the tl;dr of the post linked above is:
- make an account on feedly or inoreader (this can be done in a browser or an app if you're on mobile) (it's very easy to switch to a different one if you decide you like it better)
- add the comics you like that have rss feeds (or blogs, or webnovels, or etc etc)
- now when they update they will show up as unread in your... inbox? it's not really an inbox. anyway.
- never manually check to see if something has updated ever again
oh, right, other things i remembered that are webcomic relevant
if you would ALSO like to combine the power of rss with the power of... webcomic backlogs? comic-rocket.com has an archive binge feature you may find VERY interesting
see, you can look up the comic on Comic Rocket, and off to the side there is a little button to generate a custom rss feed
it will create the rss feed instantly when you click it
by default, it will create a feed that updates once per day starting with the first comic, but you can do up to ten per day and even customize which days it updates
whatever custom feed you create doesn't actually pull any images through, which is done deliberately as a courtesy to the comic's original owner. so you'll still have to click through to actually read the update. it is nonetheless extremely convenient. i got so far behind on girl genius i recently decided to just start rereading the whole fucking thing from the start so here is what a custom rss feed ends up looking like in inoreader:
i have different folders for webcomics that need to be opened in a new tab to view (a lot of comics work that way) and webcomics that i can read right in my rss reader. here's one that's inline, for comparison:
had a good night
Tell us about it lad.
after my fall out boy concert i told my mom that they played my second favorite fall out boy song of all time (headfirst slide into cooperstown on a bad bet) and she asked what the song was called (it’s called headfirst slide into cooperstown on a bad bet) so i immediately answered “headfirst slide into cooperstown on a bad bet” and she turned to me and said “there’s no way that’s the name of the song” which gave me the incredible privilege of saying “alexa play ‘headfirst slide into cooperstown on a bad bet’ by fall out boy” to which the alexa responded “NOW PLAYING ‘HEADFIRST SLIDE INTO COOPERSTOWN ON A BAD BET’ BY FALL OUT BOY” and my mother promptly walked out of the room
joined the ranks of oppa homeless style and homestuck cop for playing a song for my mother, more at 11
Kontextmaschine is Dead
(~1,000 words, 5m)
Noted blogger @kontextmaschine is presumed dead, following the discovery that the sole resident at his most likely residence was found deceased during a wellness check initiated by concerned Redditors.
Prior to his last post on Aug 22, which indicated a serious health problem, he reported taking over twice the dose of creatine he had been taking at the beginning of his lengthy post-COVID health saga, in which he also reported becoming bisexual, having "zero" anxiety, gaining 3D vision after years of not having it, becoming incredibly convincing, and having to learn to walk and use his muscles properly again. At the time, he felt he was becoming trimmer and physically stronger, and reported engaging in a long project of yard work, although photos from the inside of his house generally looked somewhat messy.
A Tumblr user who met him briefly in person after the beginning of the health saga but before these most recent events reported that he was friendly, charismatic, hospitable, and clean, but "physically, a mess," with motor control issues on one side of his body.
Topics of discussion were similar to the content of kontextmaschine's blog, such as differences in east and west coast government in America, said to be "totally on brand," but it was said that the prolific poster seemed "less self-grandiose" in person.
Redditors theorize that the decline of kontextmaschine's health following his first self-report of COVID-19 infection may have been due to undiagnosed brain cancer, which could be more consistent with observed changes in behavior than the after-effects of a viral infection, given that most reports of "long covid" are about effects like fatigue, and not total loss of anxiety or alteration of sexual orientation.
Despite multiple suggestions, from both anonymous and pseudonymous users, kontextmaschine refused to seek professional medical care for his condition.
Regarding the mourning of public figures, in 2018, a period of increased Progressive sensitivity during the Trump Administration, kontextmaschine wrote,
through the years realized that through whatever blind groping the ‘90s-ass “edgelords” were desperately trying to save us from this, through proper gatekeeping and filtering at first I’d thought it was gratuitous and supported it being relaxed, maybe not shaming everyone who publicly mourned a suicide, mea culpa, mea culpa, I have debts to pay
In 2019, he added:
That was how we kept the internet culture from growing mawkish and cry-bullyish: basically, if you were so weak as to get weepy over corpsemeat you got cancelled, the shame would follow you forever and you’d never be allowed to forget it.
Given his writing, it is likely that kontextmaschine would not have supported excessive public mourning over his death, though in 2017, following the theft of his motorcycle, when the popular blogger @argumate jokingly criticized him by writing, "no references to pinball, no insight into historical Americana, this isn’t the kontext I signed up for," kontextmaschine wrote,
“when bad shit happens people mock me accurately” is the community I’ve been looking for my whole life so
Like argumate, perhaps the most famous of the rationalist-adjacent bloggers on Tumblr, screenshots of kontextmaschine's Tumblr posts would end up on outside websites.
Kontextmaschine was generally considered an interesting, if controversial writer. One Tumblr user characterized him as a member of the "obnoxious Tumblr right," though another user asked, "wait, how is kontextmaschine is right wing?" After another user claimed that the nuclear bombing of Oregon would be a net improvement in the world due to kontextmaschine's residence in Portland, tumblr user @random-thought-depository wrote a 2,400 word theory post arguing that kontextmaschine's philosophy was a means to coordinate to join a future political coalition favoring the formation of a more brutal and oppressive hierarchy in pursuit of his own advantage.
Though kontextmaschine's ideology advocates that humanity should adopt "r-selection," meaning more offspring with less investment in each (or youth, sex, and death), this blog dissented against the coalition theory, arguing that motorcycles, kung fu, women, Hollywood, and not having to report to HR are all traditionally cool, and the causality of the kontextmaschine ideology could easily run the other way.
Though he had a period of identifying as female in his youth, appropriately LGBTQ for a Tumblr user, his 2011 statement of principles, including "the lesser yields to the greater" and "suffering is the mark of a wrong person," and general body of work, could be described as a strain of right-wing thought, though not of the traditionalist Christian or rational technocratic varieties.
Prior to the post-covid health saga, kontextmaschine's health posting was primarily about his bipolar disorder, with both manic and depressive phases.
Kontextmaschine maintained generally friendly relations with other bloggers in his sphere of discourse, sometimes debating but rarely aggressive, except in response to anonymous hatemail. In response to one particular piece of hatemail, kontextmaschine stated that as a writer, of course his primary form of influence would be his posts.
In a post chain reblogged by dozens of Tumblr users, multiple Tumblr users wrote that they enjoyed his writing and are disappointed by his death, describing him as a unique thinker that will not be easily replaced. Several felt that there was not much they could have done, as after returning from his covid infection, he was not taking medical advice.
One Tumblr user wrote, "rip. Inspirational manic poster," while long-time and prolific poster argumate described him as, "one of the bloggers of all time."
Internet users speculate that Kontextmaschine is survived by his outdoor cat, Badger, about whom he posted frequently. He may also be survived by other members of his family, with whom he apparently did not live, and rarely spoke about.
It is recommended that enthusiasts of kontextmaschine's blog make backups of his writing for archival purposes.
yasfera2-deactivated20220905
every fucking time I see this I miss the "7 month old" part, then when I see the image I fucking lose it. god fucking dammit
"This event ends the moment you write us a check, and it better not bounce, or you're a dead motherfucker" -- Big Bill Hell
There was a time when you'd see little old ladies paying for the groceries with a hand-written personal check, holding up the line, causing an immediately-forgiven slight sense of annoyance with those behind her. Buddy. Those days are over. They've been over. What, did you think you were going to just pop a couple extra zeroes on the end of your paycheck there? Maybe scan your paycheck, open it in photoshop, make a template, print em out all nice? You think you're the first to think of that, dipshit?
It takes the law a long time to catch up with the state of the art. You're reading this on the internet, which means you never use checks. The law has caught up. Your ass will be going to prison immediately and you will see zero return.
You can't even kite checks anymore, and hell, nobody under 40 will even know what that means, due to the blazing fast, two day settlement on all ACH transactions. Let me paint you a picture.
You get paid on Friday, but it is Monday, and bills are due on Tuesday. And you're broke: $0 in the bank. Goose egg. Pop open your checkbook, go to a store, "buy" some things, write a check for the amount. The cashier takes it!
Now take those things you "bought", across town, to another store location, and return them for cold hard cash. Sweet. Bills paid. Friday rolls around, and you just make it to the bank to deposit your paycheck before it closes. After the weekend, the checks you wrote finally post, and they don't bounce! You've kited a check. You've surreptitiously taken a zero-interest loan. And we know your broke ass. The interest rate on that short-term payday loan should have been straight up usurious. We're talking 29%. That makes predatory fuckers like us horny for sex. We're so mad. Now you are going to Federal Prison. For a good minute. Fuckface.
COST: $0.10 (With banks offering free checking accounts + Bic pen)
"Neither snow nor rain nor heat nor sleet, if you fuck with the mail, we'll rip your nuts off" -- Ronald Mail (Inventor of Mail)
Many people have this misnomer that the most powerful people in politics are democratically elected. The president, of the United States, of America, is a stupid cartoon hotdog. All of them, I don't care. Way less clout than you'd think. Brilliantly, it is the people that the hotdog president appoints who are actually doing anything significant. The director of the CIA. The fucking chairman of the Federal Reserve. Probably the, like, most senior, uh, general of the military, and shit too. I don't know, we don't "do" army here at Bloomberg. You probably don't even know their names! I don't! These are the ones you should be seeing in your sleep.
There's another position like that. Appointed directly by the hotdog. The Postmaster General. That's a real title. He's the CEO of the mail, and buddy, what he may lack in political power relative to the director of the CEO, he makes up in raw sexual energy. Total Tom Selleck energy. Like an airline pilot. We're talking Donald Sutherland in Invasion of the Body Snatchers. I'm tentpoling in my black business slacks just writing this, and all my Bloomberg newsroom bros are peering over my shoulder and also tent-poling. We're not gay though, and especially me, I'm probably the least gay, but sometimes I just lay awake for hours at night what that mustache would feel like pressed against my lips, the unbelievable and utter, total sense of security I'd feel burying my head into his hard chest.
You get it. He's your dad. And if you fuck with the mail, you've fucked with the tools in your dad's garage. And dad's been drinking. You're in for it, bucko, you are in trouble. Do you think the United States Postal Service actually makes any money? Hell no. It costs like five bucks to mail a box basically anywhere I can think of and they give you the boxes for free. You can just walk in the post office and take them. I do that, and then just throw them away, I don't know why, some kind of compulsion. Being able to move shit around like this, quickly, cheaply -- Jesus H, I've got a huge amount of money in my bank account, probably tens of trillions of dollars (due to financial knowledge gained from reading Bloomberg articles) and I could probably mail every single person ever something and still come out in the black.
No way pal. They've thought of that already. The Postmaster General is going to know every time, and he's going to grab you by the shirt collar, wearing his cool as fuck hat, and you're going to get your pants pulled down, and your bare ass spanke...I need to go use the restroom real quick.
We rely on the mail system to get important shit done. It's not something to be taken lightly, and it isn't. Trust me. This is why, like almost every other person who receives mail in this year 2023, I just fucking put a wastebasket under my mail slot. I don't even shred that shit anymore. I just burn it. Takes less time.
COST: $0.63 (Postal stamp)
"Can call all you want, but there's no one home // And you're not gonna reach my telephone // Out in the club, and I'm sipping that bubb // And you're not gonna reach my telephone" -- Lady Gaga
I read something wild that the children of today do not know what a dial tone is, because of how fucked up and stupid they are. Isn't that super fucked up?
While it's not really our style, allow me to fill you in on some ancient, arcane knowledge about the telephone. You can turn it on, and then you can punch in numbers. Any numbers. Random ones, or maybe not random ones. If the ten numbers you punch in are the same as the numbers in someone else's telephone number, their phone will ring, and then you are talking to them. This is called "Phreaking".
Here's the kicker: You can tell that jackass anything you want. "Oh, Hi, Yes, I am Reginald Sumpter calling from Avalon Consulting LLC, we are just following up on the invoice we sent you. Please remit to ###### routing ###### account."
BOOM! Your name isn't Reginald whatever and that company doesn't exist, but you just received a deposit. It's fucking beautiful. What have you done wrong? It isn't your responsibility to handle who your business' clients/etc are, it's their's. If they want to just pay you money for no real reason, well, that's kind of on them, isn't it? I haven't stuck a pistol in your face and demanded everything in the register.
Well, it's too clever. It's too slick. This is the United States of America. It's one thing to commit a felony like armed robbery, it's another thing to piss off someone in charge of the accounting division who uses a special bathroom you need a key to get into.
You can do it on the computer too, I use a PC Computer at work and send email, so you can see how it'd work there. You can make a document that is indifferentiable from a real invoice and, straight up, 1/3 of the time they will pay that shit. Lmfao.
It's called wire fraud because, uhh, duhhhh, there's wires. What do you think that thing is strung between the telephone receiver and the dialer? And computers? Give me a break. There's so many wires with those.
COST: $0.25 (Coin for payphone)
"People calculate too much and think too little." -- Charlie Munger
It is insane how dumb the common man can be when it comes to our world of expertise. I hear this same sentiment, like, ALL THE TIME:
"Durr hurr I will buy an insurance policy for my car or house or whatever so that in case something happens to it I will get money". And then that same person proceeds to drive safely or not burn their house down. Dumbest crap imaginable.
Let me break it down for you. Insurance is a two player competitive game. There is a winner and there is a loser. Go take out an expensive insurance policy on your American sports car. Buy a neck brace, a football helmet, and pack that bitch with throw pillows. Then get in the left lane of a major highway at like noonish, let it rip and then SLAM on your brakes. Hit from behind! Your fault! Congratulations. You have won insurance. How this gets past people is beyond me.
You can only do this once or twice before the insurance companies catch on. Then they don't want to fuck with you. It is also..I don't know man...something feels off about taking a car or a house, which like, some guy had to build and just destroying it, but that is only a weird emotional thing, since you're making money, more than whatever the destroyed thing is worth, so in reality you've built that house plus some extra. You've contributed.
COST: $106.00 (Average monthly car insurance payment)
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