cats have it right, I also need to do a big stretch that realigns my entire spine
the default way for things to taste is good. we know this because "tasty" means something tastes good. conversely, from the words "smelly" and "noisy" we can conclude that the default way for things to smell and sound is bad. interestingly there are no corresponding adjectives for the senses of sight and touch. the inescapable conclusion is that the most ordinary object possible is invisible and intangible, produces a hideous cacophony, smells terrible, but tastes delicious. and yet this description matches no object or phenomenon known to science or human experience. so what the fuck
this is what ancient greek philosophy is like
I put a smell on you
cats when they headbutt you
Eines Tages gründe ich eine islieb-Partei und setze mich für ein flächendeckendes 7-Tage-Wochenende ein.
i'm a nice person but if you leave me in customer service for too long i will turn into AM from i have no mouth and i must scream
customer: hey can you -
me, 1 minute late for my lunch break:
Sorry we fourier transformed your boyfriend. Yeah the process is reversible but he's been described in a different frame of reference now
No, no. I can have one more shot, I swear. I won’t start behaving like a flamboyantly gay pansy stock character in a pre-code film again. I swear. You can trust me. Darling, you must trust me.
the "no spoiler culture", mainly perpetuated by the marvel cinematic universe, that pushes the idea that a story is only worth watching and telling if the audience knows absolutely nothing about it beforehand, has done irreparable damage to storytelling and how an audience interacts with the story. in this essay i will-
#i understand why some people prefer to enjoy a story without spoilers#but if spoilers ruin the story it wasn't a good story to begin with#overall i feel like rewatch-value is underappreciated in recent years#and it's replaced by a feeling of writers trying to outsmart their audience#sometimes.......... story beats that are unpredictable............. are worse
rating actual medieval names i have found as a medieval studies student but they get progressively more unhinged:
- William de Appeltrefeld: 8/10 bc appeltrefeld sounds like a nice place to live. who wouldnt want to live in a field full of apple trees? points deducted cause there are like fifty bajillion williams in england
- Luke de Luka, merchant of Luca: 6/10. ur parents really werent creative huh
- Hugh de Wlonkeslowe: 7/10. looks like a straight person trying to keyboard smash. *laughs in english place names*
- Roger Smert: 10/10 absolute banger of a name. does it make any sense? absolutely not! but you guys. i dont think you understand. smert!!
- John de la Bro: 7/10. when ur such a bro that its literally ur name and 800 years in the future its all people know of u
- Hugh Sad: 7/10. weve all been there buddy
- Gaylarde de la Mote: 10/10. slay. i bet this guys mote was the gayest mote youve ever seen
- Hugh de la Penne: 9/10. we stan a pasta man
- Richard de Astlegh: 10/10. verily, he shall ne'er give thee up, ne'er let thee down, nor shall he run with great haste and desert thee, he shall ne'er cause thee to weep, ne'er bid you farewell, ne'er shall he speak wicked falshoods in thine ear or cause thee harm
- Bindo Hug: 8/10. who is this man a hobbit???
- Eudo la Zusche: 6/10. deadass sounds like something youd see in a really bad fantasy novel
- William crisp: 7/10. w h a t.
- Asser son of Licoriz: 7/10 there is so much going on here i dont even know what to tell you
- Baldwin Panik: 10/10 cause this is a heckin mood
- Richard Cok, aka Dick Cok: 69/10. nice.
Oh shit guys, just discovered philosophy, good news
I gave it some thought for the first time, everything that I already believe is undeniably correct :)
Look. I’m going to be honest with you. Adopting that hard anti-plastic surgery stance while trans people’s lives and right to transition is at stake is absolutely horrendous timing. Knock it off.
Plastic surgery saves and rebuilds lives. While anti-aging culture and lookism are both detrimental to society, it’s important to remember that plastic surgery is healthcare.
People in the tags are nottttt getting it. I’m saying you should address the societal influences that lead young women to seek plastic surgery before you seek to villianize the plastics field and/or limit access to healthcare to anyone. Plastic surgery is healthcare.
I am not making this a ‘trans people versus feminists against lookism’ issue. You may require plastic surgery in your lifetime as well. Anyone could. The line of where plastic surgery is frivolous and driven by vanity or necessary for maintaining or creating a greater quality of life is far thinner than you think. That nose job may have been motivated by Eurocentric beauty standards or it may have been motivated by the desire to correct a deviated septum. I am saying that at a time when we are all losing our bodily autonomy and access to medical care at an alarming rate, now is not the time to be writing treatises on why access to certain forms of healthcare is bad.
Straight up needed Botox in my cheeks (masseter muscles) to stop grinding my teeth so hard they bled every night. CANNOT recommend this enough.
I have chronic shoulder tension as a result of a long-term structural issue with my bones. The underlying issue has been surgically corrected (many years ago!) but a significant amount of the tension remains. It's less constantly severe and also is easier to massage away a lot of it for long enough to make bothering with the massage worthwhile now that it's not being reinforced by dislocated collarbones, but those muscles spent so long (somewhere in between 10 and 26 years) in rock-hard knots (literally) that they don't know how to relax properly now. It's very possible that I have never in my 30+ years of life had fully relaxed shoulder muscles.
Probably my best chance of ever getting my shoulder tension down to a "normal" level is botox treatments. Because botox can be used to force chronically-tense muscles into a relaxed state. And over time, if you do that to muscles in a condition like mine are enough times, they can start to get the memo.
Anyway the solution to "some people are getting cosmetic surgeries that they'll end up regretting because they have bad self-esteem and think they need to look perfect to be likeable as a person" is to fix the societal issues that lead to people having such terrible self-esteem in the first place, not to ban or gatekeep access to plastic surgery.
Bodily autonomy remains a basic right even if people might do things to their bodies that they end up regretting. And that's true for women who think they have to get a nose job to be worthy of love just as much as it is for anyone else.
Also nothing will ever be funnier than the whole Leverage crew spending the first episode whining about how they work alone and this is a one-time thing ONLY and they DON’T work in a team EVER and then like two days later Nate tries to get rid of them and every single one of them is like “why are you trying to tear this family apart :(”
Hang on the season 2 premiere might have it beat
Nate: Why the fuck are you all in my house?
The entire rest of the crew: Our house :)
This isn’t even an exaggeration, they straight up just break into his house and start remodeling
The Leverage crew: *disperses at the end of The Nigerian Job*
[literally 5 seconds after they all walk offscreen]
“this meeting could have been an email” but instead it’s “this video tutorial could have been a post with less than a hundred words”
I will be 70 years old and I still will never have gotten over the time the Mythbusters used a rocket powered steel wall to - and I use this word as literally as possible - vaporize an entire car into red mist
If you haven’t seen this episode of Mythbusters I feel so bad for you because “What car?” remains to this day as a defining moment of my adolescence and my entire life
That was a near-religious experience
I made a gif of it for those of you who cant watch the video in your country. Or if you know you just want to stare at it mesmerized like me
Oh wow they sure did vaporise that car into red mist