For MtG content, see my sideblog @ambitions-cost
For Critical Role content, see my sideblog @arcane-recovery
For my slow descent into madness, just scroll down!
hey everyone! i just decided we’re going to start consciously breaking our old habits that harm, speaking to ourselves as though we were an elderly version of ourselves speaking with kindness and compassion, eating more fresh fruits in the sun, trans-ing our genders and using the word “indubitably” more! hope everyone is okay with this. please pass on the memo to your friends and loved ones
first 5 faceless emojis are how your summers gonna go
Magnus Archives fan I see
THIS IS SO FUNNY I'M SORRY
yuri is when there’s themes and motifs and yaoi is when there’s two blokes who do fuck all. if you reblog this you love trans people
Streaming companies are the landlords of media. You will rent in perpetuity, and never actually own anything.
✨🏴☠️ PIRATE AND DOWNLOAD YOUR FAVORITE MEDIA IMMEDIATELY. PIRATE AND DOWNLOAD YOUR FAVORITE MEDIA IMMEDIATELY 🏴☠️✨
1. Download Firefox
2. Add the following extensions: uBlock Origin, AdBlocker Ultimate, Privacy Badger, Privacy Possum, minerBlock (ClearURLs and Don’t track me Google also recommended but not necessary for this)
3. Go forth brave soldier
george forgets which neopronouns his partner uses. elaine starts dating a guy with her birthname, and discovers his birthname is elaine. jerry takes newman’s comment that he isnt “really” butch because he uses bath salts to heart. an ominous horoscope drives kramer to audition for rupaul’s drag race.
JERRY: Well, maybe it’s any pronouns.
GEORGE: No, Jerry, it’s not any pronouns! I’d know if it was any pronouns! If they used any pronouns, I would’ve defaulted to “she” by now!
JERRY: Yeah, you would have, wouldn’t you.
(LAUGH TRACK)
GEORGE: Look, Jerry, please, you gotta help me. They’re gonna be here in less than ten minutes, just ask them while I’m in the room. Ten seconds, over and done with. Please.
JERRY: You want me to ask for pronouns?
GEORGE: (FALLS UPON KNEES) JERRY I’M BEGGIN’ YOU!
JERRY: …Tell me I look butch.
GEORGE: WHAT?
JERRY: You heard me. Tell me. I look. Butch.
GEORGE: Jerry, I - I can’t -
JERRY: See, you hesitated! What is it? Is it the shirt, the hair -
GEORGE: Jerry please, we don’t have time for this! JERRY: Ten seconds to ask your new partner what their pronouns are, and you can’t spare any time to tell me what about me passes as femme? GEORGE: …The deodorant is a bit much, I mean, peach-scented deodorant -
JERRY: I KNEW it!
(KRAMER enters through the front door, dressed in nothing but a bra, flesh-colored leggings and a long, blonde wig) KRAMER: Do either of you have any spirit gum? It’s kind of an emergency!
KRAMER: You know I hate to intrude, but uh, what kind of pronouns would you mind me using for you?
(Both JERRY and GEORGE turn discreetly to listen) BRICK: Oh, thank you for asking! Any pronouns are fine!
GEORGE: AAAGH!
(GEORGE stumbles to the floor.)
ELAINE: So they broke up with you, huh?
GEORGE: She didn’t buy my story about fleeing a sudden fire.
JERRY: You’ve got to stop defaulting to she/her.
GEORGE: ANY PRONOUNS, JERRY! She/her is a perfectly valid pronoun! I could’ve had a she/her, a they/them, a xe/xir, Jerry I could’ve had it all.
ELAINE: Still, she/her for Brick? I wouldn’t have guessed, I mean, they were more butch than Jerry.
(JERRY drops his spoon in his diner soup. George and Elaine are unphased. Laugh track.)
GEORGE: So, your relationship is going SO great, huh? With Mr. Deadname?
ELAINE: Yeah, well, I’m probably gonna cut things off. I mean, I got rid of that name for a reason, yknow? Too much baggage.
JERRY: You’re jealous he was born an Elaine?
ELAINE: Look, I don’t see what’s so bad about being an Elaine! I mean, look at me, am I not the picture perfect Elaine? I was born to be Elaine. My parents didn’t know what they were THINKING not naming me Elaine, but does he care? No. Just tosses Elaine aside like an old sandwich.
GEORGE: An old sandwich?
ELAINE: Yeah, you’d toss that out, right?
GEORGE: How old?
ELAINE: I don’t know, a week?
(GEORGE sits in quiet thought)
JERRY: Maybe he’s thinking the same thing about you.
ELAINE: What do you mean?
JERRY: Well, maybe he’s been wracking his brain trying to figure out why you’d throw away a name as perfect as…
(ELAINE glares at JERRY)
JERRY: …You know.
ELAINE: No. There’s no way. With a name like that he’s lucky anyone is even interested.
GEORGE: They have a point-
ELAINE: Default back to she/her.
GEORGE: She has a point, Jerry. Not only can I not imagine Elaine’s parents picking a name like that, I can’t imagine being an adult and choosing that name. It wouldn’t be anybody’s deadname, it shouldn’t be anybody’s name. It’s just one prolonged mistake.
ELAINE: Better name than George.
(LAUGH TRACK)
JERRY: Maybe it’s the opposite.
ELAINE: What do you mean?
JERRY: Well, maybe he picked you up because he misses having Elaine in his life.
GEORGE: You don’t think he’s…?
JERRY: No, just likes the name. Maybe he realized he’s got some attachment to the name, but he doesn’t want it for himself.
ELAINE: …I could live with that.
(LAUGH TRACK, KRAMER enters in a torn green sequin dress, wig cap, smeared make up, and holding a blonde beehive wig under one arm.)
JERRY: How long did you last?
KRAMER: I didn’t even make it on. I got into a fight with Katya Zamolodchikova.
GEORGE: Over what?
(KRAMER makes some sort of KRAMER sounds and wild hand gestures, the others nod.)
(ELAINE’S BOYFRIEND enters)
JERRY: Oh, hey Blaine.
One should always be describing morphosyntax
I think one of the reasons drag kings aren’t as popular as drag queens, aside from the fact that straight women don’t like us, is that people are uncomfortable acknowledging masculinity as a performance. Like we as a society know that femininity is a performance, with its own costumes and rules. Masculinity is also a performance, and nothing makes that more clear than someone making an exaggeration of it
To everyone saying that “uh actually it’s cause drag kings aren’t as visually interesting”
Yes AND the people saying that male sexuality, when performative, is coded feminine; you could not be more wrong and you’re a fool, a scourge upon this earth.
IMPORTANT PSA
Please share for UK residents!
The public alert will go off on Sunday 23rd April at 3PM (15:00) BST.
The decision to issue the alert was made against the advice of NGOs who warned this could put vulnerable people in danger. Please spread the message.
For people with anxiety about filing taxes, here’s what things that happen when you make a mistake on your tax return:
- it gets corrected
- you get a letter in the mail either asking for some additional information or a letter showing the adjustment
- you pay the amount (there’s options for payment plans too!) or get a refund
Things that do not happen
- you’re “in trouble”
- you are charged with fraud
- you go to jail
I know that most people are probably just joking/exaggerating when they say a mistake on their return means they get thrown in jail but when I worked with the public I always would encounter people who believed that would happen and they would be panicking about it. So I like to put this out there every year because if I can even prevent one person from feeling that way, it’s worth it
Annual reblog of this important information.
The thingy above where you sign your tax form says that you’ve filled it out to the best of your ability. “Sir, I am a dumbass” is 100% a valid defense
