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rpg and dnd girl

@elayneaessedai

I’m a transgirl who plays a ton of rpgs and dnd, so boy do I have some ideas about þem
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Can't let British people have air conditioning because first they'd call it something twee like "the climate fixer" and then in 20 years they'll call it "the climb" or "the climmy"

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French kids would call it "le climot", frustrating language officials who would prefer they call it "machine pour le contrôle du climat froide à l'interieure de l'édifice"

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I fear that how much time I spend in a microenvironment like tumblr is shaping my perception of culture because I just found out "eroticism of the machine" isn't a concept that exists in the general consciousness or as a media trope or anything. if I Google it the first result is a Tumblr post. do the people of Earth not understand how inherently sensual the wires and pistons are

Review of the book Zeus Grants Stupid Wishes by Cody O’Brien.

To sum up this book in a single sentence - “What would happen is Deadpool wrote a mythology book.”

Yeah, this guy-

Wrote a book. Here are some examples of why I think this.

GREEK MYTHOLOGY 

The Greek creation myth.

The story of Hephaestus god of Blacksmithing and Aphrodite Goddess of Love.

The story of the Minotaur. 

NORSE MYTHOLOGY

Norse creation myth.

Odin orders Loki to steal Freyja’s necklace. He does. This is so in character for both of them Freyja instantly knows who to blame.  

EGYPTIAN MYTHOLOGY

Ra gets mad at humanity and creates Sekhmet Lion Goddess of Killing Stuff. 

How Isis retrieves her huband’s coffin from the support pillar it got stuck inside.

MAYAN MYTHOLOGY

How to try and kill the god Zipacna and fail. 

CHRISTIANITY MYTHOLOGY

How God made Eve from Adam’s rib. 

The story of how King Solomon judges proper maternal instinct. 

HINDU MYTHOLOGY

Men ask Shiva to stop Kali’s murder rampage.

And this is how he does it. 

JAPANESE MYTHOLOGY

The Goddess Izanami gives birth to the whole island of Japan. 

A story about Tanuki.

AFRICAN MYTHOLOGY

Creation myth

SUMERIAN MYTHOLOGY

Creation myth

The Epic of Gilgamesh: Being born

The Epic of Gilgamesh: Meeting his best friend.

NATIVE AMERICAN MYTHOLOGY

Do I really need to explain why I feel the Merc with a mouth was involved in the retelling here?

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musicalmelody

Fun Story: My director kept telling me and my tenor sax buddy to play softer. No matter what we did, it wasn’t soft enough for him. So getting frustrated, I told my buddy “Dont play this time. Just fake it” 

Our Band Director then informed us we sounded perfect. 

To my readers: “p” means quiet, “pp” means really quiet. I’ve never seen “pppp” before haha.

On the contrast, “f” means loud, and “ffff” probably means so loud you go unconscious.

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dean-and-his-pie

I had ffff in a piece once and my conductor told me to play as loudly as physically possible without falling off my chair…

Me and my trombone buddies had “ffff” and he sat next to me and played so hard that he fell out of his chair.

The lengths we go for music.

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gunslingerannie

Okay yeah so I play the bass clarinet and the amount of air you have to move and the stiffness of the reed means it only has two settings and that is loud and louder, with an optional LOUDEST that includes a 50% probability of HORRIBLE CROAKING NOISE which is the bass equivalent of the ubiquitous clarinet shriek.

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One day, when I was in concert band in high school, we got a new piece handed out for the first time, and there was a strange little commotion back in the tuba section — whispering, and pointing at something in the music, and swatting at each other’s hands all shhh don’t call attention to it. And although they did attract the attention of basically everyone else in the band, they managed to avoid being noticed by the band director, who gave us a few minutes to look over our parts and then said, “All right, let’s run through it up to section A.”

And here we are, cheerfully playing along, sounding reasonably competent — but everyone, when they have the attention to spare, is keeping an eye on the tuba players. They don’t come in for the first eight measures or so, and then when they do come in, what we see is:

[stifled giggling]

[reeeeeeally deep breath]

[COLOSSAL FOGHORN NOISE]

The entire band stops dead, in the cacophonous kind of way that a band stops when it hasn’t actually been cued to stop. The band director doesn’t even say anything, just looks straight back at the tubas and makes a helpless sort of why gesture.

In unison, the tuba players defend themselves: “THERE WERE FOUR F’S.”

FFFF is not really a rational dynamic marking for any instrument, but for the love of all that is holy why would you put it in a tuba part.

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grellholmes

This is the best band post 

Everyone else go home

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officialdeadparrot

Oh man, so I play trombone, and we got this piece called Florentiner Marsch by Julius Fucik, and we saw this

which is 8 fortes. We were shocked until,

that is 24 fortes who the fuck does that

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Who does that?

Image

This guy. Take a good look - that is the moustache of a man with nothing to lose.

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Julius IdontgivaFucik

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justamerplwithabox

More like Julius Fuckit

Pyrozod’s tags for this were too hilarious not to share

I haven’t been in band for years but this made me laugh so hard

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hergeekiness

I haven’t seen this post in ages and I’m dying of laughter

I didn’t think it could get better after The Foghorn Tuba Story, but it did. It got better. Bless you, MusicTumblr.

as far as I can translate it, the German notes at the octuple forte mean something roughly like “You want the instrument to cough… this is not for wimps”

this man was a menace

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it-was-justified

Yeah I need to join another brass band

Getting Tuba feels.

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My favorite band post

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2018 was five years ago let that sink in

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no fucking way💀

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no no guys you don’t get it i made this fucking post in 2018. as a joke. i was like hah could you imagine it being 2023? could never be me! and then completely forgot until right now when someone reblogged it and i was forced to face the horror that it is, in fact, the year 2023 right now.

Posts that are better with timestamps enabled

Reblog if it is infact, the year 2023 right now

2023 was 5 years ago let that sink in

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2018 was five years ago let that sink in

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no fucking way💀

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no no guys you don’t get it i made this fucking post in 2018. as a joke. i was like hah could you imagine it being 2023? could never be me! and then completely forgot until right now when someone reblogged it and i was forced to face the horror that it is, in fact, the year 2023 right now.

Posts that are better with timestamps enabled

Reblog if it is infact, the year 2023 right now

Review of the book Zeus Grants Stupid Wishes by Cody O’Brien.

To sum up this book in a single sentence - “What would happen is Deadpool wrote a mythology book.”

Yeah, this guy-

Wrote a book. Here are some examples of why I think this.

GREEK MYTHOLOGY 

The Greek creation myth.

The story of Hephaestus god of Blacksmithing and Aphrodite Goddess of Love.

The story of the Minotaur. 

NORSE MYTHOLOGY

Norse creation myth.

Odin orders Loki to steal Freyja’s necklace. He does. This is so in character for both of them Freyja instantly knows who to blame.  

EGYPTIAN MYTHOLOGY

Ra gets mad at humanity and creates Sekhmet Lion Goddess of Killing Stuff. 

How Isis retrieves her huband’s coffin from the support pillar it got stuck inside.

MAYAN MYTHOLOGY

How to try and kill the god Zipacna and fail. 

CHRISTIANITY MYTHOLOGY

How God made Eve from Adam’s rib. 

The story of how King Solomon judges proper maternal instinct. 

HINDU MYTHOLOGY

Men ask Shiva to stop Kali’s murder rampage.

And this is how he does it. 

JAPANESE MYTHOLOGY

The Goddess Izanami gives birth to the whole island of Japan. 

A story about Tanuki.

AFRICAN MYTHOLOGY

Creation myth

SUMERIAN MYTHOLOGY

Creation myth

The Epic of Gilgamesh: Being born

The Epic of Gilgamesh: Meeting his best friend.

NATIVE AMERICAN MYTHOLOGY

Do I really need to explain why I feel the Merc with a mouth was involved in the retelling here?

Anonymous asked:

i have kinks that im into and separately kinks that i think it would be hot if my partner was into. and those kinks would become hot to me if my partner was into them. is that the same thing

umm not entirely! but maybe! i sort of have this experience where, like, i have kinks i am into, and i enjoy watching/reading porn of them, i like to think about them with a lot of different partners or just some faceless entity, whatever. but then also, separately, i have kinks that i am only into because it would be hot for my partner specifically to do them to me, and that's sort of regardless of if my partner's into them or not, although some of them i think about to begin with because my partner brings it up? idk

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An incomplete list of things that employers commonly threaten that are 100% illegal in the United States

  • "We'll fire you if you tell others how much you're making" The National Labor Relations Act of 1935 specifically protects employees who discuss their own wages with each other (you can't reveal someone else's wages if you were given that information in the course of work, but you can always discuss your own or any that were revealed to you outside of work duties)
  • "If we can't fire you for [discussing wages/seeking reasonable accommodation/filing a discrimination complaint/etc], we'll just fire you for something else the next day." This is called pretextual termination, and it offers your employer almost no protection; if you are terminated shortly after taking a protected action such as wage discussion, complaints to regulatory agencies, or seeking a reasonable accommodation, you can force the burden onto your employer to prove that the termination wasn't retaliatory.
  • "Disparaging the company on social media is grounds for termination" Your right to discuss workplace conditions, compensation, and collective action carries over to online spaces, even public ones. If your employer says you aren't allowed to disparage the company online or discuss it at all, their social media policy is illegal. However, they can forbid releasing information that they're obligated to keep confidential such as personnel records, business plans, and customer information, so exercise care.
  • "If you unionize, we'll just shut this branch down and lay everyone off" Threatening to take action against a group that unionizes is illegal, full stop. If a company were to actually shut down a branch for unionizing, they would be fined very heavily by the NLRB and be opening themselves up to a class-action lawsuit by the former employees.
  • "We can have any rule we want, it's only illegal if we actually enforce it" Any workplace policy or rule that has a "chilling effect" on employees' willingness to exercise their rights is illegal, even if the employer never follows through on any of their threats.
  • "If you [protected action], we'll make sure you never work in this industry/city/etc again." Blacklisting of any kind is illegal in half the states in the US, and deliberately sabotaging someone's job search in retaliation for a protected action is illegal everywhere in the US.
  • "Step out of line and you can kiss your retirement fund/last paycheck goodbye." Your employer can never refuse to give you your paycheck, even if you've been fired. Nor can they keep money that you invested in a retirement savings account, and they can only claw back the money they invested in the retirement account under very specific circumstances.
  • "We'll deny that you ever worked here" not actually possible unless they haven't been paying their share of employment taxes or forwarding your withheld tax to the government (in which case they're guilty of far more serious crimes, and you might stand to gain something by turning them in to the IRS.) The records of your employment exist in state and federal tax data, and short of a heist that would put Oceans 11 to shame, there's nothing they can do about that.

This is all legit, and a lot of it falls under the protections for concerted activity. You can find more about that here: https://www.nlrb.gov/about-nlrb/rights-we-protect/the-law/employees/concerted-activity

wearing black all the time and being autistic is great cause whenever someone goes "who died lol?" I can go through a very specific list of people who died on this day

may benito mussolini rest in piece <3

may alfred hitchcock rest in peace <3

may paul zarifopol rest in peace<3

may leonardo da vinci rest in peace<3

may napoleon bonaparte rest in peace<3

may charles iii rest in peace<3

forgot to mention that i'm talking about charles iii duke of bourbon but fingers crossed-

also may edward vii former king of england (total loser) and marlene dietrich (bicon) rest in peace (but only marlene)

may paul gauguin rest in peace<3

may tenzing norgay rest in peace<3

may joan crawford rest in peace and henry morton stanley in the worst pain possible <3

may bob marley rest in peace<3

may doris day rest in peace<3

may dr magnus hirschfeld and frank sinatra rest in peace<3

i fucking love estrogen

this is the most enthusiastic agreement i’ve ever seen on tumblr

It has literally made my life worth living so. Emphatically yes!

and the dolls said A M E N

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See, I take testosterone (and I am LOVING IT so far), but my WIFE takes estrogen and it makes her SO FUCKING HAPPY so-

Yeah. I fucking love estrogen. It makes my wife smile and it's helped her to become the kind of person who lights up the whole room and my whole heart with just one grin.

muscleluvr4-deactivated20140223

why the fuck is it called the xbox 360 what does 360 mean???????????????????

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milkpunk

when u see it u turn 360 degrees and walk away

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the-governess

turning 360 degrees would face you right back to the xbox you dipshit

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hatefucking

this post somehow still in circulation despite everyone involved being deactivated

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