Ao No Flag: Touma and the beauty of love
I write a lot about Taichi and his feelings towards Touma, but I today I stopped and thought about Touma's feelings for Taichi and got just... so emotional. Every single action, word and thought from Touma directed towards Taichi, either directly or not, shows a love so big and so pure that it's hard for it not to get to you. I love Futaba and the relationship she and Taichi had, and I'll always say it. However, the reason why I think I was so happy seeing Taichi end up with Touma (which isn't only because I'm queer myself) and why maybe a lot of people did was because of the beauty of Touma's feelings for him.
I don't want, in any way, to devalue Futaba's love for him or say one of them loved Taichi more. That is not the point here. But the sweetness in which Touma's care and love for Taichi was born and developed throughout the years hits me like a bat in the head, heart, whole body.
Imagine being a kid, like Touma. Popular, loved, but different in ways you still don't understand yourself. Then you meet a boy who marvels you because he's funny in a way people aren't normally, he's smart, he's creative. For some reason you get along with him, you click. Imagine losing your parents at that age, and that boy is there for you. He holds your hand when you are scared. He gives you confidence and swears to save and protect you from harm. He is always there. When you think you are a burden to your brother, when you think you are a burden to the world. You grow up and realize those feelings aren't exactly that of friendship. You start realizing the ways you are different but he can't ever know. So you lie about your type and stop holding his hand. But you love him. You've loved him since you've known him. Because he's held your hand. Because he'd hold anyone's hand if they need it. Because he's beautiful in every way. And you love him so big, and so much that you'd rather be in his orbit, and be his friend, and watch him love someone else instead of not having him around.
Imagine. Loving someone so much that even though he is what you think of when you think of happiness, you are at peace seeing him with someone else because he is happy.
And it's not the only way Touma has shown his love for Taichi. We have the obvious moment where he literally jumps in front of a car to save Taichi. It costs him his "dream", but it doesn't matter because what's worth him being a baseball player if he doesn't have Taichi around. It makes you realize that all along Taichi was was Touma wanted. Taichi was his dream.
Then we have other little moments. Touma remembering that Taichi loves handmade things and even going out of his way to tell that to Futaba. Taichi instantly knew that it was Touma's idea because he's the only person he's ever told. And Taichi knows it means something, but he doesn't know what it is. But to Touma it's everything and it's natural. It's something Taichi told him so it's precious and important to him.
(I wanna cry lmao) The fact that "best friend power" was inside the omamori KILLS me the most. Best friend power means everyone gets 10,000 points and everyone gets to be happy. And that's all Touma wants. He wants Taichi to be happy. And it's so simple, but it's the moment Taichi understands how pure and real Touma's love and friendship is. He loves him. Just like that. He wants nothing in return, he's gonna be there loving him because that's who he is.
To wrap things up, the reason why I think it makes sense that Touma and Taichi ended up together is this: as the manga teaches us, "love" is complicated. Love isn't static, it can evolve. You can love your friends, you can be in love with your friends. You can love and be in love someone of other genders, and you can love and be in love with people of the same gender. Touma always loved Taichi, and I think one of the reasons he loved him is because Taichi loved him too. However, back then Taichi's love was different. He loved Touma. And he loved him a lot. What this last panel made me realize is that he realized he loved him and it was okay (and that he had always been enough for Touma and would always be). However, life is about choices, and he was in love with Futaba then. But it was okay. Because who knew what could happen in the future. Touma would be there for him, no matter in what form. As a friend. As a lover. Or as both.
And that's the beauty of Touma's love: It's sweet, it's understanding, it's patient. It's unrelenting and non imposing. Touma always loved Taichi exactly as he was, from the very beginning and, hopefully, for the rest of his life. I don't know if I agree with how passive he was, but he was always willing to give Taichi a choice. Because it mattered to him the most. How I picture them getting together in the end is exactly like that. However, all Taichi needed was to make a choice, which I believe wasn't really hard to make. Because -since this last panel- he already knew he'd always loved Touma too.
