Whenever I see an Ivan Aivazovski painting the sea monster in me goes absolutely feral

I see this and I've never wanted to sink a ship so much in my life I'm biting through wood as we speak

God if I saw this in person I'd straight up start slithering. Start writhing

The way he just *clenches fist* makes water light up from the inside. Ugh, I once zoned out in front of one of his larger paintings in a gallery and came to, like, twenty minutes later, smelling saltwater and tasting driftwood.

This is his largest painting ever. It is 2,8×4,2 meters large. That is about 9'3"×14'1". It took him ten days to paint. This is a guy who painted normal-sized paintings in an hour, two, tops, according to contemporaries.

He was utterly unique.

dunken.mp4

Official Post of Massachusetts

Tomorrow is always a better day to kill yourself then today.

For context, one of the most useful tools i've learned in therapy is that "never put off until tomorrow what you can do today" is bullshit, and you should absolutely put things off until tomorrow if you're not in the right space to handle them today, and recognizing when you're not in that space is an important skill. Also, one of the best tools in my toolbox for dealing with suicidal ideation when i'm in my worst, most emotionally tumultuous moments, is "Wait till tomorrow. If you still want to kill yourself then, you can, but if you do it now you can never change your mind." because the truth is, it can always wait for tomorrow. tomorrow is always a better day for it. and the next day, and the next, and the next. And one day, after enough tomorrows, things will get better, and you won't need to think that way anymore. or at the very least, not for a while.

"why can't they just be friends" not in the homophobic way but in the "their platonic relationship in the source material is far more dynamic and complex than the sanitized personalities they gain as a result of shipping" way

"why can't they just be friends" not in the homophobic way but in the "this is a valuable exploration of intimacy and vulnerability that we’re conditioned to recognize only in romantic relationships but that can exist platonically as well" way

REVERSE TROPE WRITING PROMPTS

There should be a fanfic writing game called the showrunners challenge where someone writes a story and partway through someone else can play things like "actor leaves after 4000 more words" or "topic now too politically sensitive due to unforeseen world events" or "lost rights to that reference"

I need this to be a real game right the hell now

I do not have the energy do do a full layout right now b/c it is kickstarter season and I am under water, but here's a prototype that can be solo-played (you can also have a friend just pick from the lists if you want that pvp feeling.)

Showrunner's Challenge By Runawaymarbles (also sorta by sprintingowl)

Begin writing a fanfic. It is a feature length television program being watched every week by thousands. There is no plan. The industry is in shambles. The writer's room is barely hanging on.

At the end of each chapter, roll a d12.

1 Everything at once. Roll twice, use both. If you get this again, keep rolling. Your only way out is to stop getting 1s. 2 Product placement! The next chapter must center (and subtly promote the features of) a product belonging to the most recent brand you've seen. 3 Fan favorite. Your most recently mentioned character (or named object) is now beloved by the audience. You must give it a bigger part in the story, a special destiny, or an important new romance or friendship. If you get this twice for the same character or object, the adoration cools and you must go back to treating the character or object normally. 4 Executive meddling. You must change to a different genre. You cannot go back to a genre until you have changed genres three times since then. 5 Audiences are craving more coziness. The next chapter must be completely low stakes and set you at ease. 6 Audiences are craving more suspense. The next chapter must take place entirely in a single location, ideally just a single room, and build tension with every exchange of dialog. 7 Audiences are craving more action. The next chapter needs to involve at least one extended fight scene, and the weapons must be the last three objects mentioned. 8 Audiences are craving more romance. The next chapter needs to involve a deep, sappy confession of either love or admiration between two characters that have not previously been romantically involved. 9 Go to the most recent line in your fic that references a brand. Due to ongoing legal action, that brand cannot be mentioned again, but you score 1 audience point every time you allude to it in a way that paints it in a negative light. 10 The two most recently mentioned characters' actors have, IRL, gone through a VERY messy divorce or friend breakup. You cannot put them in the same scene, but they must both remain relevant parts of the show. If you get this with the same two characters again, they reconcile. 11 The most recent negative event (stabbing, poisoning, banishment to jupiter) is now the center of a very real IRL news story. You must immediately pivot away from all plotlines involving it and, if possible, also find away to apologize for even thinking to include it without breaking character. 12 The most recently mentioned character's actor has decided to leave the show. You must write them out in the next chapter. If you are brave, also roll a d12. 1--6, they were well loved and their sendoff must be as flowery as possible. 7--12, they were despised by the cast and crew. Mulch them.

You win if you can complete the fic in a state of relative coherency.

Alternate Game Mode: TV Digest Version

Don't write full chapters, just summaries of what happens in each chapter.

Alternate Game Mode: Realism Edition

Start your fanfic with your own telling of the first episode of an existing show, then proceed from there.

another one because I was feeling a little silly today

absolutely stellar

A girl at my school tried to seduce one of our (super straight-laced) math professors. She ACTUALLY sat on his desk and had a super low-cut shirt on and everything and actually leaned over to him and according to eye-witnesses:

Girl: “Oh professor, I’m really struggling but I would do ANYTHING to pass this class.”

The professor leans in until his face is just inches from hers and whispers in the same seductive tone:

Before promptly getting up and walking away just leaving her on the desk.

“Then study”

so i just learned something really fucked up about US coinage...

this means that a pound of any mix of quarters and dimes is worth exactly $20.

She’s a 10 but she lives off of academic validation while simultaneously procrastinating like she’s been promised immortality

Doctor Who Movie 1996 is such a bizarre fucking object it is so god damned scary and nasty at points and then its also got like hot babe paul mcgann cheesecake moments. but it doesnt commit to being either of those things really. and i cant imagine letting kids watch this On Purpose because of just how scary the surgery shit is. but its also definitely made to be a family movie. also everything with the master in this is somehow exponentially more homoerotic than the normal, catastrophic levels of homo theyve got going on and i dont know how to reckon with that.

I do appreciate when documentation knows its target audience.

Question, is the link to "dazzling dan's" tumblr page part of the documentation or just embellishment provided by tumblr?

Tumblr currently has a very specific bug whereby if:

... then the first occurrence of the letter in (1), above, plus the single character preceding it, will become a link to the blog in (4).

For example, the original post in this thread contains a non-hyperlinked sequence consisting of an @ symbol followed by the letter "d". Consequently, the first occurrence of the letter "d" in the post, plus the single character preceding it – and "n" in this case – becomes a link to d.tumblr.com.

You should be able to reproduce this yourself using any letter that satisfies criterion (4).

okay, let's test this out: @k

did it work?

EDIT: and the answer is... yes! it works exactly as described! what even is this site

I'd genuinely love to see what kind of mutant regex they're using that causes this.

(For those having difficulty reproducing the issue, it's possible that the character preceding the prior occurrence of the offending letter needs to be non-whitespace, and depending on what platform you're using – i.e., mobile versus desktop – it might also take a bit of finagling to prevent the editor from automatically hyperlinking the @ for you before you submit the post.)

someone in a different reblog chain figured out that it works for longer sequences, not just single letters. based on that, my best guess (which could be completely wrong) is that tumblr's backend is using one regex to check whether the post contains an @ symbol followed by the name of an active tumblr blog, and if it finds one, it then uses a different regex to find the name of the blog plus the preceding character and turn that sequence into a link to the blog. maybe what it's trying to do is make sure the link gets added when someone @'s a blog even if the user didn't select the blog from the list of suggestions, but for some reason they went about this in a bizarrely convoluted way.

Why not mention the artist's name though? Art doesn't belong in Florida man posts. This is Berndnaut Smilde.