Things are rough for Edward Teach, a.k.a. Blackbeard. Everything had been going so well after he met Stede Bonnet, a fancy and extremely handsome gentleman pirate, who everyone assumed would be Ed’s narrative foil. However, to everyone’s surprise, Edward is actually the protagonist in an anachronistic 18th century swashbuckling romantic comedy, so Stede and Edward fall in love!
Ed goes on a journey of personal growth, becoming the most open and emotionally available that he’s ever been. Unfortunately, Izzy Hands, Blackbeard’s first mate and not-so-good friend, decides to get involved. As it turns out, Izzy is not only an antagonist but is also the physical manifestation of toxic masculinity and homophobia as it relates to colonialist imperialism!
As Ed navigates his first heartbreak, he finds caring and encouragement from his new crew, who allow him to work through his emotions in a healthy way. But behind Izzy is the power of hundreds of years of repression of indigenous ways of being, so with one push, Edward is back to where he started. Except now, he has no hope that life could ever provide him joy.
At least Edward, even at rock bottom, would never let the physical manifestation of toxic masculinity pound him in the butt, no matter how handsome the actor who plays him is.
This tale is 0 words because it's literally just the show.
















