I’m watching The Sword in the Stone for the first time in decades and I’ve gotten to the part where Merlin is trying to get Arthur to lose his virginity to a squirrel.

Y’know, if Merlin turned that squirrel into a human it would save Camelot a significant amount of problems down the road.

“Squirrels mate for life Arthur, so the chances of her fucking your best friend and inadvertently causing a schism that leads to the downfall of an entire utopian kingdom are completely nil!”

Ok hopefully this is the last time I add onto this but Arthur marrying the squirrel would stop both of the events that destroyed Camelot - namely the aforementioned falling out with Lancelot AND the birth of Mordred.  Being with him since youth, Squirrel would keep Arthur from being seduced by his half-sister Morgause (or Morgan Le Fay in the versions of the myth that cut Morgause out) when he was young and foolish, as he’d already be in a committed relationship and thus wouldn’t be able to be tricked into starting one with said half-sister.  No incest means no Mordred.  Then, as mentioned above, Squirrel would be a faithful wife, which means Guenevere would be single, which means Lancelot and Guenevere could pork each other without causing a huge row that ends with Lancelot killing dozens of his fellow knights of the round and inspiring several others to turn against Arthur out of loyalty to him.

Camelot would have been saved if Arthur just. Fucked. That. Squirrel.

You say all that but all I hear is “here is how Merlin trying to convince Arthur to become a furry could have saved the world”

Look this was a journey for me ok?

It started as “I can’t believe Disney made a movie where Merlin tries to get a squirrel to take Arthur’s virginity” and slowly became “I can’t believe Disney’s weird bestiality subplot actually solves the two biggest problems that cause Camelot’s downfall.”

Because as baffling as the squirrel fucking plotline is just on its own, the fact that it’d actually be solution to the eventual problems Arthur faces - whether anyone at Disney was actually thinking about that or not (and I’m guessing not) - is even more so.  It is bizarre and unsettling to me that squirrel fucking could have saved Camelot, and that’s, uh, the point of this I guess.

So, pointless fun fact. Around 2008, someone on 4chan actually made a ‘humanized’ version of the squirrel called ‘Hazel’ (i.e. one who had been changed to a human to be with Arthur). For a little while, there were a number of artists making pieces about her, and stories written suggesting alternate histories.

I know it’s a minor point, but I still love the notion that people are still finding ways to rewrite the story so Arthur can f*@# the squirrel.

Whole gallery of pics here, because some of this artwork gets downright amazing…

I REMEMBER THESE!!!!

Fascinating

@tyrantisterror  your legacy endures

To an ever widening group of people, I am “that guy who ranted about Arthur fucking a squirrel.”

Of all my legacies, this is certainly one of them.

I think I’ve posted about this before buuuuuuut fuck it? This makes me deliriously happy and sad. The resolution of Arthur becoming human and having to try to explain himself to a sobbing squirrel is one of my strongest childhood memories about having to deal with heartbreak and I’m literally fucking tearing up right now GOD DAMN YOU TYRANTIS.

Does this mean there’s an alternate version of history where Camelot never fell and Britain just always carried on its legacy.

Are you trying to tell me that in the fixed up version of the Arthur mythos the entire royal family is part squirrel?

I mean, it’s not the weirdest AU I’ve seen with Arthurian legends…

@break-rpg I’m bringing this to your attention so you can tell Rey.

@tanoraqui

Squirrel Girl’s secret royal heritage!

“not the weirdest AU”, hah! This wouldn’t even be the weirdest thing to happen in Arthurian Canon. Fuck it wouldn’t even make the top 10.

I want to study everyone who contributed to this under a microscope

That would allow for some weirder aspects of the Arthurian Royal Family; being the ability to commune with animals and cement a deeper connection with nature and the magical elements of life that mages and sorcerers use (Morgause/Morgana & Merlin). Potentially the ability to command and control animals like birds, squirrels and hounds.

Considering fae sorcerery, the Fisher King and the Green Knight. The AU where Arthur fucks Hazel the squirrel turned queen would be as weird as some of the most wild tales of the Arthurian Mythos.

Slither Wing is the goodest fluffiest bug!!! (Repost cuz I forgot the tail lol)

Chrono link to the beginning of my Mewtwo series

https://mewtwoandme.tumblr.com/tagged/pokemon/chrono

Plus some additional links in case some comics are missing from the main chrono link

https://mewtwoandme.tumblr.com/tagged/mewtwo/chrono

https://mewtwoandme.tumblr.com/tagged/mew/chrono

https://mewtwoandme.tumblr.com/tagged/babytwo/chrono

https://mewtwoandme.tumblr.com/tagged/gardevoir/chrono

My Deviantart

Elf video games: 300 hour jrpgs with legions of characters and several novels worth of text. Labrynthine upgrade trees and customization options. The most insufferably unintuitive UI possible. A single turn based battle can take hours. Every character has an ennui stat.

Dwarf video games: Basebuilding strategy FPSs that has a whole wiki page on the flexile vs tensile strengths of different building materials. Dwarven rhythm games have minigames where you have to manage supply lines. Mortals cannot comprehend dwarven grand strategy games.

Halfling video games: What appears on the surface to be a viscerally calming farming sim is actually an extraordinarily complex social combat game about cutthroat HOA politics.

Goblin video games: Wildly unbalanced collectathon gatchas where half the fun is finding new hilariously broken strategies. Zany uberviolent team shooters about bugs. MOBAs so bad it's almost art.

Orc video games: Addictive in-browser flash games with names like "Beast Crush 4" and "Borag Meat Game." The art is always kinda bad but in a charming way. The music always slaps.

Goblin code looks incomprehensible but if you take the time to look through it, you realize it's actually optimized in ways you never thought were even possible. Goblins are responsible for like 75% of every games modding community. Goblins all run Linux.

There is no orc game larger than a gigabyte. There are legends of an orc coder who successfully ran DOOM on a raw lamb shank.

Halfling code is full of charming little comments like "//whew! This routine was a real nut to optimize" that you eventually come to learn are expressions of deep, murderous rage.

Elf code rhymes.

Dragonborn video games: Side-on fighting games along the lines of street fighter, with complicated input systems to match. Fast paced movement shooters. Action MMOs with week-long storylines. They always have a surprising amount of social features, and all of them have small but very dedicated and active communities.

Arakokra video games: Walking simulators, visual novels, and flight simulators. So many flight simulators. They have some of the best graphics you've ever seen, in-depth weather systems, and gorgeous atmosphere. You're never quite sure if you're actually playing a game or watching it.

Lich video games: Lich video games have a nearly mythical reputation, with you having to go through four different sketchy websites, five download links, 2 installers, and numerous community made fixes to get them to run, but once you do its an experience. RPGs with side quests longer than the entirety of your average RPG. Farming games with entire mechanical systems dedicated to procedural weed growth. Some actions can take months to complete. They run in their own coding language the lich made themselves.

Teifling video games: Dating simulators. Play at your own risk.

Gnome video games: They are too busy running the internet and keeping the devs from fist fighting to code themselves. No one knows they do this however.

[TRANSLATION] GUILTY GEAR 2 OVERTURE: SOL'S STORY

Aaand Sol’s is done!

____

CREDITS:

All translations are by Noa Ikeda (deviantART | tumblr)

Editing done by Nainsoo and myself.

Crossposting to dustloop! Please don’t repost these without the credits above.

Translator notes are included as it goes with a (t/n:– )

Keep reading

No one took notice of what I said so I am forced to draw this because y'all can't hide from the truth 😤😤

Bonus of a gem @kooki914 said:

more doobles, why not

This time on “what shitpost has Ihu brought this time?”

From this^

*edit - I’m crying at the tags you guys are using they’re fantastic thank you

inspiration

Okay look the Submas Angst Train is fine and all BUT WHAT IF -

when you wanna practice drawing Scrungly and Blorbo from your Games so you dig up that AU post you made a week ago and reference from it.

anyway i'm gonna watch that Pokemon Direct this weekend for any sign of DLC for a game that came out One Month Ago.

He's... not sure.

More Distortion Guide AU scribbles. It's both fun and infuriating working with a space where there's Not Much Gravity.

Me playing the game ---> meeting Ingo ---> listening to what he has to say

:Why he angy tho

What if Optigami is just the start of all the temporary heroes finding out Marinette's identity and as a result getting the miraculous permanently?

Like the next episode is Nino getting it.

Then its Max, then Kim, Kagami, Luka (They don't get back together after finding out. Marinette basically decided that was a no-no since she didn't want relationship drama and she realized she wasn't over Adrien so it would not work out for a plethora of reasons which Luka agreed with. He moved on) , Alix and so on.

Eventually the whole class except for Chloé, Lila and Adrien all know Marinette is Ladybug and they are all supporting her and helping out in their own way as permanent miraculous holders. Which of course Chat noir doesn't know. he still thinks the heroes are still temporary heroes that Ladybug is relying on more.

Marinette's life actually becomes a lot easier. Because she developed like a SUPPORT network.

Meanwhile, Adrien is finding his classmates are starting to drift away. He doesn't want to associate with Lila so he isn't talking to her, and Chloé is still angry over him calling her out over the movie thing.

His best friend Nino is even seemingly avoiding him.

And now when there is an akuma, ALL of the heroes show up.

The akuma and sentimonsters that appear are handled so easily now. Most of the time before Chat noir can even get there. Ladybug is there and she fist bumps with Rena Rouge and which ever heroes made it to the fight.

Ladybug doesn't even patrol anymore. She has her whole guardian thing to figure out, so she helped set up a patrol schedule. Chat noir patrols alone.

He can't even remember the last time he physically saw Ladybug.

Plagg tells Adrien he should call her and tell her. Which he does cave and call, but it went to voice mail. He asks if they can patrol sometime, he misses talking with her.

He gets a message from Rena Rouge a couple days later saying Ladybug doesn't have time for Patrols right now, she is having a break through with some guardian stuff and that Carapace can patrol with him is he wants.

Chat noir decides to accept it. Maybe being friendlier with the new heroes could help him accept this. They aren't hindering them, and it makes akuma fights easier. He should stop being gloomy about progress.

So he patrols with Carapace. And Chat noir actually does have a fun time with he turtle. It felt like he was hanging out with one of his closest friends.

As they relaxed Carapace accidentally leaks how having Wayzz full time has made a dent on his snack budget.

"What do you mean full time?"

Carapace explains that he is a full time hero like everyone else.

"What do you mean everyone... Are you saying every hero is a permanent miraculous wielder now."

"Well we all know who Ladybug is so it would be dangerous if we were civilians..."

Carapace stops and then asks.

"Do you.... do you not know who ladybug is?"

"Carapace. Im going to need you to send a message to the 'Guardian' for me." Chat noir said with a fake smile that was hiding a rather powerful negative emotion.

Gale- Gale. This is an Unrecoverable situation, Gale. There is no fixing this.

Gale....what the fuck?!

Oh there is more.

So, Carapace does take down the message.

Chat noir left afterwards. Carapace feels like he made a massive mistake.

So the next day, Nino tells Alya he may have made a massive mistake with Chat noir.

"Did you reveal who you were?"

"No... but I did reveal I was a permanent miraculous holder."

"Oh he knows that already Ladybug... wait... did he not know that?"

"He didn't know that."

Alya is wide eyed and thinking that THIS was bad. Why did Ladybug not tell him?"

"I also may have implied we all know her identity." Nino winces

Alya now went from oh no to OH KWAMI WHY!

"This is very bad!"

"Well Ladybug can just tell him and things can ease out right?"

"Nino how would you feel if I invited everyone to my birthday party and didn't invite you?"

"I would be pretty hurt."

"Imagine that times 100"

"Dude..."

"Ladybug can NOT find out about this!"

"But Chat noir told me to tell her a message."

"And she will hear the message. After we calm the cat down first."

"And how do we do that."

Alya had an idea.

____________________________________________________________

So Chat noir had called Ladybug to meet him at their meeting place.

And sure enough Chat noir saw Ladybug arrive on the roof.

"Sorry I've been so busy kitty. I got your message. I can't talk too long though" Ladybug explained.

"Thats fine I will make it quick. But before that, Its just us here right? No other heroes?"

Carapace and Rena Rouge were nearby. Rena had her power active

"Thats right. Its just you and me on this roof." Ladybug assured.

"Okay. Ive decided to quit being chat noir."

"What?" Ladybug exclaimed.

"You should pick someone you trust. You didn't even tell me you made the other heroes permanent holders. Not to mention THEY know your identity but I can't."

"Chat noir... no. You are important. I know the new heroes have been a lot. And I should have told you sooner. I did mean to tell you. I swear I did. I just... this guardian stuff has been overwhelming me. So many things to learn... You know it isn't intentional... I will schedule more time for us together. We..."

This was starting to make Adrien feel such an eerie deja vu. Like talks with his father.

"Dont... I know when Im not needed. Ive been holding you back for far too long. You said that you couldn't be ladybug without me. I think thats been proven false several times over."

He goes to take off his ring but stops.

"I should probably take it off out of view. Good bye Bugga..."

Chat noir went for her hand only for his hand to go right through.

It was an illusion.

"Wait that wasn't..."

Now it felt EXACTLY like his talks with his father.

He looked and notice on a nearby building two figures trying to hide.

The amount of rage the cat felt was noticed by a certain villain.

"Well this is unprecedented."

Shadowmoth had never felt such intense negative emotions in his life. He HAD to make an akuma out of this!

"Such raw anger, such feelings of betrayal and hurt. Its a buffet of negative emotions both complex and simple. And its coming from a hero of all things."

The villain creates his akuma and sends it off.

_____________________________________________________________

Chat noir was glaring at the two heroes. He had moved to their rooftop.

"I guess I wasn't important enough for Ladybug to come here herself."

"No Dude! We just didn't... tell her yet." Carapace confessed.

"Figures."

"Don't act all angry, WE should be the ones angry. You were going to quit!" Rena Rouge shouted.

"AND WHAT OF IT!?" Chat noir roared back. His anger eclipsing the fox's by a vast margin.

Rena Rouge's words died in her mouth. She never felt so taken aback in her life.

"We were trying to calm you down, we didn't want you to get into an argument with LB over something like this."

"Oh? Something like this? Something like finding out that all of the heroes are permanent miraculous wielders and that they ALL know her identity?! I would say that is a pretty big deal! Especially since I had to hear it from YOU of all people!"

Rena Rouge regained her voice.

"Look, we were both shocked to find out she didn't tell you that. So our plan was to calm you down and then go talk to her about it. Then have you two talk and maybe have things be civil."

"Well I will tell you this. I don't plan on quitting anymore." Chat noir answered.

"Thats great."

"And if Ladybug ever needs anything. She can ask one of you to do it instead."

Chat noir started walking away.

"Wait what are you saying?"

"Im saying Im done with this partnership! Or WHATEVER you would call what Ladybug and I currently have! I know when Im not needed!"

"You can give her that message within 3 to 5 business days or whatever! Or don't! I doubt she would even notice!"

Chat noir was done with this.

"Chat noir, you should talk to Ladybug about this..." Rena Rouge urged.

That was the last straw.

"WHAT DO YO THINK TONIGHT WAS SUPPOSE TO BE!?"

The akuma flew into his bell.

"Oh no!" Rena Rouge and Carapace exclaimed.

"GET OUT OF MY HEAD!" Chat noir screamed.

"Why fight? I am trying to help you. Unlike the rest of them. All of them know her better then you ever will. She trusts them, respects them. But you? You're a joke to her. A punchline. A relic of the previous guardian that she keeps around for nostalgia. But you can prove her wrong. You can prove them ALL wrong."

Shadowmoth was reading all the negative thoughts and saying it to him. Chat noir felt his resistance start to waiver.

Carapace activated Shelter around Chat noir.

"What are you doing?!"

"I DONT KNOW IT SEEMED LIKE THE BEST WAY TO CONTAIN HIM! GET LADYBUG!"

Rena Rouge realized Carapace had a point. They needed Ladybug right now. They bit off more than they could chew.

"Let me be there for you Chat noir, like Ladybug never has been. Like how your father never was."

Chat noir caved.

Shadowmoth smiled.

"Chat Blanc, I give you the power of infinite Destruction. You have the power to destroy anything and everything that hurts you. In exchange you bring me Ladybug's miraculous as well as any other miraculous you collect."

Carapace held the force field when he heard a cracking noise.

His eyes went wide with horror as a white claw burst through the barrier

Rena Rouge ran as fast as she could. Her necklace was beeping. She didn't have much time. She needed to get to Marinette soon, she had really messed things up.

She tried messaging her. But she wasn't answering.

"This is not a time for a communication break." Rena Rouge growled.

Thankfully she managed to get to the dupain bakery just as her transformation wore off.

"Sorry for pushing you Trixx."

"You do realize how horrific this all is right?" The fox Kwami spouted in exhaustion.

"I'm aware."

Alya hurried inside the bakery which was just about to close up.

"Alya, What are you doing here so late?" The petite baker inquired. The mother of Marinette showed concern for the young teen out so late.

"Is Marinette in?"

"Yes, she is upstairs. She has been baking all day and she needed a break." Sabine explained only to see Alya rush past her.

Alya would apologize for her rudeness later, right now was an emergency.

_____________________________________________________________

Carapace coughed as another fist collided with his stomach. Making him drop to his knees.

The akumatized cat hero had broken out of the forcefield he had tried to contain him in and had decided to turn him into his personal punching bag.

"Whats the matter Shell head? Cant handle the repeated hits to the gut? Imagine that times 1000 and then you might feel a fraction of what I feel."

"Chat noir... Please..." Carapace coughed. "This isn't you."

"Chat noir is gone, Im Chat Blanc."

A purple outline appeared over Chat Blanc's eyes.

"Enough toying around Chat Blanc, now take his miraculous." Shadowmoth ordered. "You don't have time to play! The other heroes are on their way!"

Carapace tried to crawl away but Chat blanc stopped him by stomping on his hand. Causing the turtle to hiss in pain.

Chat Blanc went to grab the bracelet and watched as the turtle hero's transformation wore off.

Chat Blanc's eyes went wide.

"Nino?" He spoke softly. Trying to register. He had frozen in place.

Nino felt a fear like none he had ever experienced. He really hoped Alya had gotten help.

Shadowmoth was losing patience.

"You take his miraculous now or I will take away your powers! Lets see how you handle those other heroes without my power."

Chat blanc snapped back to reality. His stunned expression turned to annoyance.

"You know what, I really don't like being told what to do. Cataclysm."

He activates his cataclysm and does something both Nino and Shadowmoth expected.

He touched the butterfly outline and made it dissipate.

_____________________________________________________________

Shadowmoth fell back in pain and in shock.

"Chat Blanc what did you do!? Chat blanc answer me!" Shadowmoth roared.

It took him a moment to realize it, Chat blanc had destroyed the link between them. He no longer had any sway over him or the akuma. He couldn't call it back.

"How is this possible?"

Shadowmoth felt a pit in his stomach. He had gifted Chat blanc the power of infinite destruction.

"This is not good."

_____________________________________________________________

"Marinette!" Alya exclaimed as she burst through the door.

"Alya? Great timing." Marinette was sitting at her desk, organizing little boxes with the names of each hero on them. "I just finished making potions for all the heroes. You can help me put them in...."

"We got an akuma and its really bad."

"What?" Marinette shot up from her seat. "Did you alert the other heroes?"

"No, I was busy running" Alya explained as she gave trixx a snack to refuel. "I'll send it out now."

"Okay, well that is no big deal. We can handle the akuma attack. Whats the akuma's power? What are we dealing with with?"

"Ummm, Chat noir..."

"Got captured? Its okay we can plan around it."

"No. Chat noir."

"I know chat noir is out there. But we need to focus on what the akuma could ..."

Alya grabs Marinette's shoulders. Tears in her eyes.

"No Marinette. Its Chat noir!"

The young guardian took a moment to process what her best friend was saying. Alya had never seen such a look of fear in her life.

"Chat blanc..."

_____________________________________________________________

Nino watched as the cat akuma looked at him.

"So you were Carapace." Chat blanc stated coldly.

Nino didst respond, unsure of what to say.

Chat Blanc went to his wrist and took the miraculous from him.

"You failed him you know."

Nino blinked. Was chat blanc referring to himself? He knew that already.

"Adrien. You failed him at every step."

He took his foot of Nino's hand and jumped away. Leaving the DJ emotionally cataclysmed.

(Im putting read mores from now on because the length is getting a bit much)

(Thats right there is more)

(Guess what? There is EVEN MORE)

(Yes there is indeed more)

(And now for more)

(Why yes, there is more)

(And now we are here)

(Epilogue time)

theyre BROTHERS @pokelec,,,,,

(dont tag as ship)

prev drawings (1) (2)

I am actively considering making a submas mystery dungeon AU and was going to ask if you wanted me to credit you for the inspiration

I’m still not sure if I’m gonna fully write it out but I am putting a lot of brain power into this

Do what you like! I’ll only take credit for the submas sneasel designs, not the pmd au.

(Not to mention, who says you gotta make them sneasels?)

POV some weird sneasels want to battle you and won’t stop talking about something called a “subway" 

Sneasel subway boss designs by @furiouskettle 

[ID: a digital drawing of Ingo and Emmet as sneasels, both posing in the same way as Ingo’s official Legends Arceus art. Ingo is a hisuian sneasel, while Emmet is a johtonian sneasel. End ID]

They will reunite one day, and it will be excellent

Bonus version:

watcher of the cosmos, tell us what you see

https://sirobvious.tumblr.com/post/677027222030319616

Fem Human Sans